The Dance of Self-Care

1. The Dance of Self-Care Presenter: Janice Fialka www.danceofpartnership.com ruaw@aol.com

2. As a community, we can beginby acknowledging that compassion fatigue exists.

3. Our plans for today • Understand the impact of emotional labor • Practice self-care strategies • Identify two strategies to use in future weeks.

4. A day in the life of . . .

5. What about your work is stressful or weighs you down?

6. Signs of compassion fatigue • Difficulty concentrating • Intrusive imagery • Loss of hope • Exhaustion (tired in such a way that no amount of sleep will help) • Irritability • Isolating self • Cynical • Excessive complaining • Excessive blaming • Anxiety • Others?

7. All careers and jobs involve some kind of labor

9. But WHY am I so Fatigued?

10. Emotional Labor-Arlie Hochschild (1983) “Managing the Heart” Managing strong emotions while staying connected to the family

11. An example

13. Your outward appearance may be radically different from how you feel on the inside. • To manage these differences and to appear “pleasant” takes work. THAT kind of work is called Emotional work

14. What are the tools used with some labor?

15. What is our primary tool? Our ability to connect . . . To form relationships . . . To feel . . . EMPATHY is our primary tool

16. What is empathy ? Empathy is our tool! …the action of feeling the feelings & thoughts of the person, as if you are the person . . . WITHOUT having the feelings & thoughts FULLY in an explicit manner. -Babette Rothschild

17. Two components to empathy(Heinz Kohut, founder of the movement of self-psychology in the 1970’s) • Having a sense of or an understanding of the feelings of another AND • Being able to demonstrate in accurate verbal or non-verbal reflection the feelings of the another.

18. Resulting in that glorious experience “I feel understood!”

19. We feel empathy in our bodies

20. All this . . . • feeling, • emotional labor, • empathy, • giving of ourselves • doing, doing, doing Leads to . . . .

21. compassion fatigue “Chronic exposure to really tough circumstances…….” -Dr. Doebbeling, Indiana School of Medicine

22. It will happen

23. The expectation that we can be immersed in suffering or loss daily and not be touched by it…. is as unrealistic as expecting to be able to walk through water without getting wet. - Rachel Naomi Remen, “Kitchen Table Wisdom”

24. You CAN do something!

25. Humor Eat Well Exercise regularly Sleep Spend time w/ loved ones Buddy up w/ someone Do NOTHING for 5 minutes each day. Use rituals to transition from work to home Intentional breathing Guided imagery Self-care strategies: The list is long and varied!

26. We’ll focus on 4 strategies • Power of the PAUSE • Breathing and relaxation techniques • Journaling • Laughter

27. Strategy #1: Power of the PAWS

28. Strategy #1: Power of the PAUSE

29. Strategy #2: Relaxing Breath Exercise: 4-7-8 Andrew Weil, M.D. www.drweil.com -founder and director of the Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine

30. Strategy #2: Visualization Ready, Set . . . Release: Music & Relaxation Exercises for children By J. Allen and R. Klein www.readysetrelax.com

31. Strategy #3: Journaling It’s not about being a writer--- it’s about being an explorer

32. Journaling is “good” for you!

33. Many ways to write • Write a letter to someone (Dear _____) • Write a letter to yourself, expressing kindness to yourself . . . • Write about 3 things you are grateful for . . .

34. Strategy #4: Laughter! Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

35. In dealing with those who are undergoing great suffering, if you feel "burnout" setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself. The point is to have a long-term perspective. Dalai Lama

36. My commitment to myself . . .