Full Personal Review

1. Full Personal Review Bernadette Connolly Diploma in Executive and Life Coaching Positive Success Group (PSG) Spring 2014

2. Aim of the survey – • To elicit information relating to ‘who I am’ and the impact I have on others • Survey prepared on Google Docs (Google Forms) • Introduction + 15 questions, sent by email • 24 people invited to participate - family, friends, work colleagues • 21 replies received within 3 days at which stage survey went off-line Introduction

3. 18 participants reported DEFINITELY • 3 reported MAYBE • responses included – • Definitely, always helps me find a solution • Has a great understanding of many important issues • For sure, you listen and don’t judge me and then somehow it doesn’t seem so bad • Yes, because I’d feel understood, listened to, clearer about the situation, less concerned. If you had a problem and needed to talk to someone would you consider talking to me?

4. With enthusiasm – 19 respondents • In an organised fashion – 12 respondents • With optimism – 11 respondents • With excitement – 10 respondents • Other – 3 respondents • “sometimes with a moment of reluctance, but once you get started its impossible to pull you away.” • “You are one of the most enthusiastic people I know, not just for yourself but for others too” How I approach new situations?

5. Always there to listen to problems, no matter how big or small • you always remember to ask me about things that are bothering me • good at putting people at ease • interested in everyone and show it by the way you talk and listen to people • Even when you are up to your eyes you take time to listen to me whingeing Would you consider me a good listener? If so in what way?

6. SCALE: • 5 = very likely ------------------ 1 = very unlikely RESPONSES: • 15 respondents indicated 5 • 4 respondents indicated 4 • 2 respondent indicated 3 On a scale of 1-5 how independent do you think I am?

7. Imagine you had to describe me to a total stranger …..

8. A best friend you haven’t met yet! • Will give you ‘the shirt of her back • Has lived through many experiences; • Good at guiding someone through a confusing decision or tough time • Expects high standards from others and gives it herself • Aloyal person to have in your life • Outgoing personality who communicates easily in any company • Always portrays a positive outlook on life (2) • Interested in life / very-much a people’s person (3) • Very pleasant and easy to talk to • A dynamic, positive person who never sees obstacles, only solutions. Imagine you had to describe me to a total stranger –In a few words what would you say?

9. SCALE: • 5 = very likely ------------------ 1 = very unlikely RESPONSES: • 18 respondents indicated 5 • 3 respondents indicated 4 • 0 respondents indicated 3, 2 or 1 Imagine that I promised to do something for you, or with you – on a scale of 1-5 how likely am I to keep my promise?

10. You always seem to do everything perfectly, and everything seems to be perfect in your life, could make some people feel a little inadequate • Sometimes a little hasty to judge • Opinionated. • Your exuberance and enthusiasm can be somewhat daunting, couldn't possibly aspire to your high expectations. What is the most annoying thing about me in your opinion?

11. You take on too much sometimes / don’t prioritise your own needs / too helpful sometimes / too accommodating to other people • Hard on yourself, and being judgemental in relation to status, and being the best, wanting the best. • You work too hard and you have so much to achieve, Why? • You really don’t annoy me at all! • Maybe talking too much, but its not annoying really! What is the most annoying thing about me in your opinion?

12. Spring • Summer • A teddy / A security blanket • A weathervane • A cheetah • A mobile phone • A house • A lemon-balm plant If I could be represented as a ‘season’ of the year, or an ‘object’ what would that be and why?

13. SPRING (6 respondents ) • Green shoots to follow / Best is yet to be • Always hope and understanding • Always ready to start something new • Always look on the up-side / coming to life/blooming / new beginnings • Opportunities for new growth/development • Always open to new ideas / concepts • A breath of fresh air / revitalising SUMMER (4 respondents) • Warm / welcoming/putting people in a brighter mood • Warm and cheerful because you always have a positive outlook on life • Long days means lots can be done • Bright, warm, positive, full of life. ‘Me’ as a season: Spring and Summer

14. Teddy-bear / Security blanket - Make people feel secure, comfortable and relaxed • A Weathervane - Constantly changing direction and considering new paths • A House - ‘You represent ‘home’ to me in a way that is comforting, protective, reliable, and my favourite place to be’ • A Mobile Phone - helpful, practical, sturdy, strong, multitasking, good at communication, good listener, easy to talk to , an asset to everyone. • An Umbrella - Protective and caring ‘Me’ as an object…..

15. A Plant, like a Lemon-Balm • strong roots - grow deep into the ground • nice fragrance like you spread symbolically through care and actions • beneficial health properties • gives shelter to smaller more vulnerable plants • can withstand change A Cheetah: • great capacity for empathy • Fearless in the art of tough love • tell it exactly as it is but in a kind way • know exactly how to respond to pain/hurt/suffering of others • Affectionate / Versatile • creative, intuitive and observant • respond quickly and instantly to opportunities as well as dangers • Tendency to be solitary and territorial, choosing carefully who you allow into your world • Adapt to a changing environment – don’t get trapped in rigid thinking ‘Me’ as an object…..

16. My Personal Values – Others opinions of their relevance to me (or visible in their relationship with me)

17. Understand that not everyone is as positive as you, or can get things done as easily as you seem to be able to • Not imposing your opinion on others • Be more mindful of listening – a 1-1 conversation can sometimes be one sided and in a group you sometimes want to carry on talking • Self-care – making sure you mind yourself (2) If I asked you to advise me about areas I could improve (in my relationship with others) what would they be?

18. Don’t expect others to think or feel the way you do • Let others have their pace and schedule of growth • Remember that you can’t fix everything • You need to be more assertive about ideas you have in work and not be ruled by others • Can’t help you here, sorry / wish I was more like you / nothing seems to be a problem Areas for improvement (continued)

19. 20 respondents reported ‘Definitely would’ • 1 respondent reported… “Of course, but the difficulty would be getting you to stop talking to everyone so we could leave the party!” Would you be comfortable bringing me along to a gathering, where I don’t know anyone else?

20. You will make a terrific life coach! • Have confidence in yourself as a coach. • Working with people is definitely the best area for you to work because you make such a positive impact on all those who meet you. • You have a wonderful gift to bring out the best in people, to really hear client's stories and make a positive difference to their lives. Any other comments?

21. What would you consider to be my strengths?

22. That others might not be as enthusiastic or optimistic as me– I need to bear that in mind and respect others point of view • I’ve learned a ‘real’ awareness of the impact I have on others • I learned to challenge my fear of seeking feedback from people that I believed may tell me something I didn’t want to hear • That I am not ‘perfect’ but that I am ‘enough’ • That I have some very special qualities that I should be proud of and thankful for What I have learned from the results of this FPR…

23. I learned to accept feedback, both positive and negative. I realise the benefits of feedback to my personal and professional growth and development. • I’ve gained insight into how I communicate with others on a 1-1 basis and in groups, and am now more conscious of the effect I have on others. • I had to be open to new interpretations which challenged my assumptions about myself The benefits to ‘me’ of completing this exercise

24. I intend to ‘seek first to understand, then to be understood’ • Practice my listening skills / Stop trying to fill the spaces with chatter • Celebrate the positives – bank my success! • Accept myself and the compliments that I receive • Accept negative feedback as a lesson for improvement and not take it too personally • Be more aware of my own needs (self-care) • Practice engaging in ‘wholehearted living’……….. What I will do with the information…