Communication 101

1. Communication 101

2. Negative Communication Patterns • Blaming- they find fault in others to cover up their low self esteem • Girl is late for work because she is worried about what she looks like and what others think about her appearance but blames older brother for not getting her to work in time because he “drives too slow” • Placating- when people say or do something just to please others or keep them from getting upset. • Going along with the crowd is easier for those with low self esteem • Distracting- when a person just ignores unpleasant situations. They may put the issue aside as not really important. This is easier than risking an attack on their low self esteem.

3. Positive Communication Patterns • Stroking- describes positive and encouraging comments. You can use such comments to enhance a receivers self-esteem. This can create a positive climate thus making communication more likely to be open and accurate. • As self esteem increases, so does the ability to communicate clearly.

4. Your Emotional State Affects Communication • When emotions are intense, both messages and strong personal feelings are being communicated. • Example: your friend may be very happy and excited about just receiving a reward. On the other hand, perhaps you are trying to tell your friend that you failed an exam. You may feel that your friend really doesn’t care. The entire communication process is influenced by both persons’ emotions. • If you are very angry or upset, your words may not mean exactly what you feel. • RECOGNIZE YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE BEFORE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE.

5. Environment Affects Communication • Late in the day and your tired…how well do you express yourself? • A lot on your mind and limited time…will you communicate clearly? • A relaxed environment with adequate time and freedom from interruptions is helpful in promoting good communication • A busy or noisy environment makes it harder to communicate. • Keep in mind that fatigue or illness can keep a person from showing interest.

6. Communication Barriers • A Closed Mind • Mixed message • Prejudice • Poor listening skills

7. Conflict Conflict = two people who disagree on an issue • Often due to personal values • Often respond by arguing • Name calling or blaming are two types of you-statements

8. Steps to resolving Conflicts Identify the problem. Use I statements and active listening to help identify the problem Identify Who Owns the Problem. Who does the problem affect? The person bothered by the situation owns the problem and the responsibility for solving the problem. Accept Ownership of the Problem. Sometimes only one person accepts the responsibility for a joint problem. In this case, reaching a solution that is fair to both persons is often difficult. Solve the Problem the decision making process can be applied to solve the problem

9. Decision making process Identify the problem. Identify the alternative solutions Evaluate the alternatives Implement the solution Evaluate the solution. Was it effective in solving the problem?

10. Tips • Negotiation- communication process in which people alternate between sending and receiving messages. • Helps when both own the problem • One-sided thinking can hinder negotiation. • Compromise- is give-and-take method that allows both people to express themselves.