Mindfulness and the 12 steps

1. Mindfulness and the 12 steps This is a Holistic approach to addiction recovery ,whether one is addicted to food ,shopping ,sex, drugs, alcohol, medicine ,gambling ,social media, pornography or the Internet - addiction of any kind masks the void we are attempting to fill and temporarily takes us away from ourselves. We seek temporary relief from feelings of stress, overwhelm , depression, loneliness, loss separation etc.. and others.

2. HOPE • Please keep the benefits of this chapter if you are struggling with a compulsive behavior of any kind. This experience offers a different way of looking at addiction which may help you resolve feelings of guilt or shame and bring about greater understanding and compassion. You will learn several underlying causes that contribute to addictive and compulsive behaviors and discover a number of tools that support you in regulating your emotions and finding balance. The ultimate goal of this study is to explore the nature of addiction and provide a process by which you can build emotional resilience in self mastery

3. Self Respect • I have tremendous respect and admiration for people who have knowledge of all there abilities of prediction because this is the first step towards freedom and recovery. I have witnessed people in person with addiction and despite the fact that their lives maybe spiraling out of control they deny that a problem exists. By spending hours in compulsive behavior; many refused to recognize this is addiction. If more people were honest with themselves, I believe our society as being a healthier place. Many topics of discussion will not be as Taboo, but because of the shame associated with addictive behaviors many will continue to hide and live in the shadows.

4. HONESTY • Not long ago a individual attended a symposium in Cape Cod Massachusetts with people from all over the country and different parts of the world whom attended panels and seminars on addiction and recovery. During a discussion with about 12 people, a sex addiction specialist from England with passionate understand ing shared his story of recovery from sex addiction . Now both he and his wife are mentoring others. I was moved by the evening and his honesty.

5. SHAME • I was moved by the ease in which he shared his powerful and deeply touching story. As a result of his willingness to be vulnerable and open up about his past, other people felt comfortable sharing their stories as well. In the book “A return to love” Williamson Road said “ as we let our light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same as we are liberated from our own fear our presence automatically liberates others !” This is exactly what my new friend Mark did. You help to liberate others without consciously being aware of it. Being ashamed of that keeps us from expressing our inner abilities reassuring our struggles with others

6. COMPULSIONS • Addiction does not distinguish between race religion social status, educated are uneducated. Addiction does not have a preferred address, demographic or select crowd. It doesn't need to hurt again for similar reasons and can cause many of the same problems and harmful results felt by most people.As you embark on this journey to reclaim “in” yourself and finding inner peace, know that you're not alone. Many too have traveled this path and from many years of study and reflection we have come to see addiction not as the problem itself, but rather as a symptom of underlying causes and conditions. Hence, recovery from any addiction of compulsive behavior depends on if you see the effort to uncover those causes and have a commitment to make new and different choices.

7. TO BEGIN; ONES PERSONAL STORY! • “It was not until I turned 21 that I began to see addictive patterns in my own life. On my 21st birthday, I drank alcohol for the first time. I had no idea what to order so when someone offered to buy me a drink, I said “I'll have whatever you're having,” and after consuming 6 or 7 mixed drinks, the next three days were a blur…” • Although I did not drink again for many years, whenever I did, I had difficulties stopping even though my body did not tolerate more than one glass.. I never understood my cravings or compulsion to want to start something that was clearly unhealthy and potentially damaging to me. Moreover, why would I crave something that would cause me to feel loss of control?

8. LEARNING ASSOCIATIONS • “At the time, I lived in a home with a full bar. Without giving it much thought, I took the tops off of all the bottles and proceeded to smell the alcohol. As I smelled the alcohol in the bottles, I began to feel nauseous and become ill. While, I was not aware of this, I was creating a neuro-biological association with alcohol and to this day, as I smell certain types of liquors; I feel sick. Even after my experiment however, I would occasionally feel an urge to drink and every few years or so, I would have a glass of wine!”

9. HIDDEN ADDICTIONS • When I went through periods of stress or depression, it would lead to a craving for sugar and food. I ate when I was sad, happy, fearful, and anxious. When I was hungry or not - I just ate. Because I played basketball and ran track, I maintained a very slender and athletic build, so no one ever suspected that “I had a food addiction”. It was not until my early thirties and I began to address my addiction to food and other compulsive behaviors around my work, physical fitness, an appearance.

10. Middle Path • Despite the fact that a number of my family members struggled with addictions, the term addict or alcoholic we're not used in my family. Instead, addictions were referred to as “little problems” that needed prayer. So, rather than seeking to understand the underlying causes for my addictive patterns I prayed - which did not work.What sort of tools had I developed? • I began meditating about 20 years ago I learned about a concept called “Middle Path” or the “Middle way”. Rooted in Eastern philosophies, it signifies a balanced approach to life in a continuous driving to regulate ones impulsive behavior ; which I believe is the aim of everyone seeking recovery from addictions.

11. PATH TO WHOLENESS • Many recovery and wellness coaches help people achieve balance in their lives and develop Tools for emotional self mastery. Whether it is the senior executive or corporate leader, professional athlete who constantly strive for peak performance or the stay at home mom living with her own private addictions, I am passionate about supporting people towards resiliency and helping them find the middle way and their own recovery process. In my practice, I have found my experiences and understanding of Addiction and compulsive behaviors extremely valuable in supporting others through this process. Its devastating effect on my own family has lead me to look at the underlying causes. I hope to coach with progressive approaches and support people towards Wholeness.

12. BALANCE • It is simply a process of meditation, mindfulness and a desire for balance for those of us who struggle with addictions or compulsive personalities. • The Middle Path can be a daily practice and way of life.. • Its purpose is to remind us of our vulnerability and Empower us to make better choices for our lives

13. Chapter 1 Addictions and cravings - a Universal Condition • Buddhism has a very interesting perspective on personal suffering. For instance Buddhists feel that personal suffering is based on our desires and attachments. It is like an endless wheel, they say, that operates as a self-perpetuating cycle. We have personal pursuits or attachments, or an even better terms they say we have craving and grasping. We might be craving a substance or grasping at goals - and we see these things as outside of ourselves but essential to our happiness or personal fulfillment.

14. ATTRACTIONS • These things are seen by the individual is attractive, things that promise to fill our inner emptiness, and so we crave them. We reach for them, grasp at them, and get momentary satisfaction. However, it is temporary - it is never enough. We begin to crave again, and often to crave more, and the wheel keeps on spinning.This is precisely what keeps us mired in our unhealthy behaviors and allows them to grow to extremes because we are so mired in our attachments that we do not even realize that we are on this wheel and spinning faster and more out of control.

15. BALANCE • “Because addicts have a propensity for extreme behavior, often swinging from one end of the pendulum to another, I believe emotional regulation of working towards balance is the missing link and many recovery programs.”What do I say that? Just consider the person who is in recovery. They may have been able to successfully abstain from any and all use of the their drug of choice. However, they may have shifted to using a different drug or behavior due to the nature of addiction.

16. CROSS ADDICTION • n the recovery community, it is common to hear someone who may have 25 years of sobriety, but is an addict or recovering food addict and with an addiction to food or to sugar. I would point out that while someone worked incredibly hard to clean himself sober, the underlying issues that led to addiction were never addressed. This is why we so often continue with addictive and compulsive behaviors which are just a different version of our initial ones.Sadly, many people in recovery abstain from drugs or alcohol only to unwittingly replace it with food, shopping, gambling, etc.

17. Common factors for addiction • As many of us are aware, addiction, whether it be to drugs, alcohol, food or something else, it's never the primary problem. It is always a symptom of deeper and more complex issues. While I recognized there are a number of factors contributing to addictive and compulsive behaviors, this will look at the most common of them including: • A. chemical imbalances • B. nutritional deficiency • C .stress and poor coping skills • D. The feelings of separation or void.

18. Once someone recognizes the issues…. • In my experience, it is these underlying factors (which are often on the individual struggling with addiction) that provide the strongest influences over addictive personalities and behaviors. In the next section we look at each issue. We don't understand what these things may do to us, and how we can begin to better respond to them.Once someone recognizes the issues that seem to perpetuate their behaviors and reactions, they can begin to take control.

19. Regulating Emotions • Regardless of someone's addiction (food, sex, shopping, drugs etc), addicts all display extreme behaviors and tend to be “all or nothing “ types of people . • We come by this pattern in many ways, but what really tends to apply to everyone with addiction is that many lack the proper tools necessary for controlling their compulsions. • Because of the lack of tools, few people are capable of regulating emotions or even understanding the extent to which their compulsions are affecting various parts of their life. In order to develop balance, it is imperative to recognize the root cause of compulsion and addiction. We must give attention to the first and then we will work on creating balance

20. CHAPTER TWO • Key factors contributing to compulsion and addiction:Below are key factors that, I have found, are the leading issues to contribute towards someone developing an addiction, responding to compulsion, and struggling with recovery. Knowing about them is enlightening and empowering, and is often the first step in discovering how to create balance in your life. These factors are an essential part of understanding our addictions, which supports the recovery process. This is a powerful part of overcoming addiction.

21. Chemical Imbalances. • Primarily among the factors leading to the development of addiction and compulsion are chemical imbalances. It's important to understand that certain Chemicals in the body, “Can worsen or “create” addictive behaviors!”Chemical imbalances can make addiction or compulsion even more challenging and difficult to overcome. It is imperative that someone struggling with addiction recognize the significance of this issue.

22. First Factor… • Why should this be the first factor we consider and why is this so significant?First I would like you to always proceed on your path towards sobriety with a great deal of self acceptance, forgiveness, and compassion there are many factors that have contributed to your reaching this point in time, and they cannot be undone with the snap of your fingers. • When you recognize the added complexity of addiction or compulsion due to the readjustment of brain and body chemicals, you can be better prepared for challenges and be kinder to yourself during times of struggle or relapse.

23. Chemical imbalances impact the brain directly! • There will be such times because chemical imbalances impact the brain directly. When you follow any addictive behavior (whether it includes the use of drugs or is entirely behavioral) it will stimulate your brains reward system or reward pathways. • This is something that has lingering repercussions because it creates a new normal that you must also combat even if you seek to bring addiction to an end.

24. Dopamine • Essentially, addictive behaviors allow a flood of chemicals to be released into the brain, and these are frequently called (feel good) chemicals. Dopamine, as an example, is one of those compounds. When you are sexually aroused, using a mood altering substance, or simply perceiving something as pleasurable, your body sends dopamine to the brain. This is a direct stimulation of the reward system and its evolutionary basis is that it helps us to recall the good experiences from the bad.

25. The perception of pleasure… • The perception of pleasure can also be created by simply thinking of an addictive behavior or compulsion. For example, the person addicted to sweets inadvertently inadvertently floods their brain with dopamine just by thinking of their necks serving of sugar. This creates and strengthens that reward pathway in the mind.We experience in such moments is the actual chemical basis of addiction. The stimulation of the reward system Q's the praying to seek out the continuation of the pleasure quote as an example, you experience a high from a drug and your brain locks this into the memory as a pleasure, but this is not the type of pleasure that the brain is program to manage quote. In essence, the reward system can be chronically over stimulated by addictive substances and behaviors, and yet this is not recognized by the praying for the body is something to come back.