SP Paragraph Review

1. SP Paragraph Review

2. Paragraph Structure Review • Topic Sentence [TS] • Concrete Detail [CD] • Commentary 1 [CM] • Commentary 2 [CM] • Concrete Detail 2 [CD] • Commentary 1 [CM] • Commentary 2 [CM] • Concluding Sentence [CS]

3. Paragraph Structure TS CD CMCM CD2 CMCM CS

4. 3rd Period Strengths • Evidence/Concrete details • Solid evidence • Good introductions to CDs

5. 3rd Period Strengths, Cont.d • Concluding sentences • Explains how will ultimately improve/change life

6. Areas to Work On • Topic Sentences [TS] • Commentary [CM] • Citations

7. Topic Sentences • Directly explain what pp is about • Must be arguable • Think “mini-thesis” • Avoid questions

8. Topic Sentences, Cont.d • Use active verbs • What is your topic doing right now? • “Fail” “Eliminates” “boosts” “improves” “helps” “discourages” • Ex. Tanning beds increase the risk of developing certain kinds of cancer.

9. TS Examples Ex. Students no longer need to stress about what they need to wear in the morning. For instance, in 1999, New City...

10. TS Examples Ex. Students no longer need to stress about what they need to wear in the morning. For instance, in 1999, New City... Topic is kind of clear Not sure if effect (on stress) is good or bad No verb - uniforms aren’t doing anything to students

11. TS Examples Ex. Students no longer need to stress about what they need to wear in the morning. For instance, in 1999, New City... REVISED: Implementing school uniforms at AHS prevents students from experiencing the stress of choosing an outfit in the morning, thus improving their quality of life and education.

12. TS Example 2 • Ex. School uniforms fail to eliminate cliques that plague the learning environment in school.

13. TS Example 2 • Ex. School uniforms fail to eliminate cliques that plague the learning environment in school. Has active verb phrase (“fail to eliminate”) Arguable Straight to the point!

14. TS Example 3 Ex. School uniforms may have an expensive cost, but it's always easy to get past that.

15. TS Example 3 Ex. School uniforms may have an expensive cost, but it's always easy to get past that. Topic is clear Not sure if good or bad “may have an expensive cost...” No active verbs

16. Topic Sentences Review • TS: Never directly say what the topic of the pp is about in the first sentence? • What kind of verb should you use? • Questions or no questions?

17. Commentary

18. Commentary • CM needs to explain evidence & how it relates to your audience • CM1: What does evidence say/suggest? • CM2: Why should audience care? What should they do about evidence?

19. Commentary Example: At Standard • Using tanning beds increases the likelihood that teens will develop certain types of cancer. The Journal of Medicine published a study that linked 56% of melanoma cases in teenagers with tanning beds (Johns).The results of this study are fairly clear: tanning beds cause Melanoma. Prevention is vitally important in dealing with cancer, and parents must be proactive in preventing their children from developing Melanoma by discouraging the use of tanning beds.

20. Commentary Example: Approaching Standard • School uniforms fail to eliminate cliques that plague the learning environment in school. A journalist wrote, "You'll have the popular girls and the nerdier girls with or without the uniforms" (Boyd).This shows that uniforms don't solve the problem of school groups at all. The school board shouldn't enforce a uniform policy because of this.

21. Commentary Example: At Standard • School uniforms fail to eliminate cliques that plague the learning environment in school. A journalist wrote, "You'll have the popular girls and the nerdier girls with or without the uniforms" (Boyd).Uniforms simply do not erase the stereotypical cliques that exist in high schools. A student is popular or nerdy regardless of what they wear. The Arlington School Board should not waste their time implementing a policy that tries to put a Band-aid over something it won’t actually heal.

22. Commentary Example: Approaching Standard • The evils of bullying won’t be fixed by school uniforms. According an article in the LA Times, the uniform is simply a bandage that “solves some of the problems but not the real problem” (Percy).If you cut yourself and use a band aid to stop the bleeding, do you leave the band aid on? No! You take the band aid off and air that sucker out so it can heal. The school system has been cut by bullying, the and the bleeding has been stopped by teachers. If we keep the band aid of school uniforms, wounds will never heal.

23. Commentary Example: AT Standard • School uniforms fall short in solving the problem of school bullying. According an article in the LA Times, the uniform is simply a bandage that “solves some of the problems but not the real problem” (Percy).A school uniform policy is basically a Band-aid: it will cover up the problem, but it won’t actually help heal it. Instead, the School Board needs to look into different solutions that will actually solve school bullying rather than cover it up.

24. Commentary Quiz • What comes BEFORE CM? • How many sentences of CM? • CM1: ________ • CM2: ________

25. Citations • End of sentence • BEFORE period • (last name) or (“First Three Words [...]”)