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Crisis Intervention. In this world you will have tribulation (John 16:33). What does crisis mean to you?. Death of a relative or a friend Loss of a job Somebody loses his/her virginity Someone is pregnant Dad just beat up mom and she ran out the door
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What does crisis mean to you? • Death of a relative or a friend • Loss of a job • Somebody loses his/her virginity • Someone is pregnant • Dad just beat up mom and she ran out the door • My best friend doesn’t want to talk to me anymore
What to do when a SS student or a friend is having a crisis: • As much as possible go there- don’t try to counsel over the phone. • Remember the golden rule. • Remember the parable of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10- the good Samaritan also had his own business to tend to and his own responsibilities as well
As soon as you get there, do the “FBI thing”. Look around and assess the physical situation. • Is the house messy or neat? • Do you see alcohol bottle on the counter? • Do you see a bottle of pills? Advil or valium? • Is there an opened Bible close by? • All this info can be very helpful BUT try to do it inconspicuously!
Listen and listen empathetically. This is NOT trying to solve the problem! Remember Galatians 5:22-23. The fruit of the Spirit begins with love- loving my neighbor as myself and ends with self control. Love and self control are 2 bookends that contain the rest. In crisis, love the person by restraining your desire to fix things immediately. Proverbs 16:32 tells us that he who controls himself is mightier than he who conquers a city.
Sympathy vs. Empathy. Just as Apostle Paul mentions in Hebrews 13:3: “Remember the prisoners as if chained with them.”
While listening, try to: i. Normalize feelings- bring up the point that a typical person going through a similar experience would feel the same way. ii. Validate feelings-”this is a tough burden on your shoulders” “I can see why this would make you feel so sad”
iii. Some things to avoid when helping someone in crisis: • preaching • quoting verses • advice giving • talking more than the person going through the crisis • “why” questions • rushing to find out facts; interrogation Be honest and don’t say things if you don’t mean them!
Be watchful for strengths: i. Are they physically healthy? ii. Do they have a network of support that you can use if needed? Ie family, friends, other people from the church that they trust. iii. Is there a nearby gym, YMCA, park or trail? iv. What are their personality strengths? Ie intelligence, motivation, stubbornness/strong willed (yes, this can be a strength). Remember these strengths; they will be your allies later on when developing the plan
Determine what needs to be done: i. Is there a child that needs to be dressed and taken to school? ii. Does someone need to go to the pharmacy and pick up some medicine? iii. Does someone need to call the funeral home to start the process? iv. Are there dirty dishes in the sink? Does the house need cleaning?
G. As much as possible have the helpee do the work that needs to be done for the following reasons: i. Keeps their mind busy with something ii. Empowers them-makes them feel they can still contribute something iii. If you do the work that they are capable of doing, it may make them feel powerless/ overwhelmed and may cause them to be dependent
Have a list of resources ready and always improve and update it: i. 24 hour pharmacies ii. #s of doctors with different specialties iii. Contact info of good Christian counselors iv. Abouna’s number v. List of potential tutors vi. #s of Financial aid offices, Medicare/ Medicaid offices
vii. List of ladies from the church who might have the time to cook a meal once or twice a week for a few weeks. viii. Any other resource you can think of. During a crisis, you don’t want to waste time looking for this information, it would be awesome to have it ready ahead of time. ix. REMEMBER don’t tell them what to do, simply give options and let them decide and choose.
Together, make a plan of specific, small, achievable, realistic goals. Preferable if the person writes it down him/herself. • If the goals in the plan are too vague or not achievable or realistic, then there is a higher chance of their not accomplishing them causing them to backslide. • Prioritize alongside them. This will help restore a sense of balance and equilibrium.
J. Help them foster some hope and some positive expectations. It must be legitimate hope, though so as not to bring on discouragement.
Ensure that there is some kind of a network support system. This could include: • family • friends • Abouna • people from the church • others who have experienced similar circumstances
Work on building back confidence (because during this time, the enemy kicks the person while they are down with many lies about how weak, inept, terrible they are) and self reliance so they can not only help themselves but also may help others who go through similar crises.
M.Finally be there for them, educate them and monitor them but gradually decrease reliance. Check on them every few days, then once a week, then once every couple of weeks, then once a month then once every few months. . .
What to do when a SS student or a friend is having a crisis: • Be with them • FBI • Listen • Empathize not sympathize • Normalize and validate feelings • Watch for strengths • Determine what needs to be done • Have an updated list of resources ready • Together, make a plan of small, achievable goals • Foster hope • Identify support network • Work on building back confidence • Educate, monitor and decrease involvement
Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’ (Matt 25:34-36)
