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Listening and Feedback. Rhona M McMillan AA (CPD) Glasgow. ACTIVE LISTENING. TALKING Versus LISTENING. Active Listening Why?. Establish a good relationship Demonstrate to colleague/ trainee you have taken views, thoughts and feelings on board
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Listening and Feedback Rhona M McMillan AA (CPD) Glasgow
TALKING • Versus • LISTENING
Active Listening Why? • Establish a good relationship • Demonstrate to colleague/ trainee you have taken views, thoughts and feelings on board • Reduce arguments re poorly understood concepts • Reduce sterile arguments
BENEFITS • Colleague/ trainee feels valued • Colleague/ trainee feels understood • Colleague/ trainee able to express thoughts clearly • Colleague/ trainee given opportunity to correct any misunderstanding • Cues picked up • Both have clear idea of colleague/ trainee ’s ideas, worries and expectations • Saves time
HOW to listen actively • Give full attention, don’t interrupt • Non verbal • Reflect content • Reflect feelings • Summarise and Clarify • Interpret
Afterwards • If you have been actively listening for any length of time, you will be • TIRED
What is Feedback? • “structured information that one person offers to another, about the impact of their actions or behaviour”
Discuss feedback that you have been given, which has been helpful • Discuss feedback that you have been given, which has been unhelpful or even harmful
Feedback • Is important • Is vital for our self esteem • Is a key factor in enabling an individual to pick up new skills
In what situations at work do you need to give feedback? • Verbal feedback • Written feedback
Why give feedback? • Influence • Recognise and reward • Improve quality • Build and maintain relationships • Clarify experiences • Motivate • Manage performance
Feedback v Criticism • “criticism is one person’s judgement of another person, or their work” • It is often an unprepared reaction to people who aren’t behaving in the way one wants them to
When is Feedback Effective? • Descriptive • Performance (not person) focussed • Clear and direct • Offered (not imposed) • Owned • Specific • Balanced • Timely and regular • Solution focussed • Both parties believe feedback has a positive intent
Receiving Feedback • High Value information • -so listen with active, full attention to be; • aware how you are getting on • get ideas how to plan your own development • have a “reality check”
Receiving Feedback Listen openly and carefully Ask questions Check what you have heard Reflect
What should you do with your feedback? • Ask questions • What feedback are you looking for, be specific • Encourage people to give you feedback • Give person TIME to think about feedback, do not put on spot
What should you do with your feedback? • Listen • Listen openly and carefully • Do not interrupt or digress • Ask for clarification if you do not understand • Try NOT to be defensive • Take notes
What should you do with your feedback? • Check • Check what you’ve heard, ask for examples • Give your reaction, if you want to • Ask for time to think about it, if you want to • Ask for suggestions for improvement
What should you do with your feedback? • Reflect • Feedback is information for you to use, no obligation to change • ? Validity, check with others • Decide what you want to do, and what your options are • Work out what you are going to do, with time parameters
OPTIONS • Reflect and consider • Check with others • Try doing things differently • Disregard feedback
Pitfalls to Avoid • Defensive • Prove them wrong • Feel you have to change YOURSELF • Try to justify • Dismiss information, without thought • Attack person giving feedback • Generalise message • Feel bad about everything • Think you are perfect!
Turn criticism in to useful feedback • Question to find out issue underlying criticism • Ask for specifics, what you did or said • Ask for clarification if you do not understand • Be clear about what would help YOU • Ask for suggestions, “do you have any idea how I could do this differently?” • Ask person to focus on issue, not you.
Giving Feedback • Effective feedback between two people ensures that both parties have a clear understanding of each others expectations and responsibilities.
Prepare to talk • Prepare your message • Choose appropriate time and place • Create calm, relaxed atmosphere • Ensure no interruptions • Be aware of your own body language
Feedback skills • Active listening • Observation • Clear verbal expression • Structure you message • Plan and prepare • Timing • Self awareness (own feelings) • Resilience • assertiveness
Top tips for giving feedback • Before you meet • Prepare • Be aware of YOUR intentions • Think of examples, suggestions
Top tips for giving feedback • During Discussion • Ensure two–way conversation • Be ready for resistance • Don’t take negativity personally • Use pauses, give person time and space to think • Find a way to end on a positive • Sum up at conclusion
Top tips for giving feedback • Afterwards • Don’t expect instant (or any) change, feedback is information, not an instruction list • Follow up on your conversation (?when)
Poor feedback • Feedback is NOT to • Get something off your chest • Manage a performance issue or grievance
Written Feedback • Strengths • This should be full and inclusive, with descriptions and examples • Areas for development and suggestions for change • Take care with language, reflect, be specific with examples • Perhaps, suggest, try etc
Flatter me, and I may not believe you. • Criticize me, and I may not like you. • Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. • Encourage me, and I may not forget you.’ • William Arthur Ward (1921-94)