Christian Mentoring: Enabling Grace and Spiritual Growth

1. GROW Mentoring Training 2015 CMDFA Alison McDonald

2. Session Outlines Session One Christian mentoring The mentee The mentor Goals and expectations Session Two Approaches to mentoring Potential pitfalls Practice application

3. Christian Mentoring

4. Paul: “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice.” (Phil 4:9) • Paul: “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” (1 Cor 11:1) • Jesus: “I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” (Jn 13:15-17)

5. “To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder and a witness of Christ’s sufferings who also will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.” 1 Peter 5:1-4

6. Definitions “Christian mentoring is a dynamic, intentional relationship of trust in which one person enables another to maximise the grace of God in their life and service.” (John Mallison, Mentoring to Develop Disciples and Leaders) “Within intentional, empowering, unique relationships, Christian mentoring identifies and promotes the work of God’s Spirit in others’ lives, assisting them to access God’s resources for their growth and strength in spirituality, character and ministry.” (Rick Lewis, Mentoring Matters)

7. Model Empathize Nurture Teach Organize Respond Inspire Network Goal-set John C. Kunich & Richard I. Lester, Leadership and the Art of Mentoring: Tool Kit for the Time Machine.

8. The Mentee

9. Certainties • Medical University student • Somewhere on a continuum of Christian maturity • Variations • Examples • Male/female • Single/in a relationship/married • Ability to manage anxiety/uncertainty/stress • Specific issue(s) they are facing • Future goals etc.

10. The Mentee’s Issues (Second year male Med student) 1 Pro-life issues: abortion and euthanasia 2 Success: becoming proud of getting a diagnosis right or saving someone’s life 3 Living in the world too much: losing focus (on God) due to long work/study hours in a secular environment 4 Overt faith: when is it appropriate to share one’s faith and/or pray for patients?

11. (Final year married female Med student) • 5 Criticism by others of going into obstetrics and gynaecology if you’re a Christian • 6 Dealing with how much of your life Medicine consumes - how to keep God at the centre? • “Medicine can push things aside.” • 7 How to have real relationships outside Medicine - how to talk to someone about something other than Medicine and without using medical jargon? • 8 How to cope with 3 month placements which take you away from your church and supports?

12. Peter Saunders, “Surviving the Foundation Years” “…CMF published a discussion paper titled, The Christian Doctor - an endangered species in response to the allegedly large number of junior Christian doctors who were losing their faith … For the majority of those who had given up, the chief reason given was that God had become irrelevant. ‘No time’ was the other main cause for dropout.” (p. 6)

13. Peter Saunders (cont.) “Christian foundation year doctors generally fall for one or more of these three reasons: they stop walking in the light - in other words living in obedience to God’s word (“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path” Psalm 119:105) or they don’t keep fellowship - they get separated or fail to establish contacts with Christian friends or they fail to notice the pitfalls - they simply don’t see trouble coming and therefore don’t prepare properly for it.”

14. The Mentor Who are you and what do you bring?

15. What makes a good Christian mentor? (from 1 Timothy 3:1-13; Titus 1:6-9; 1 Peter 5:1-3) Someone who: imitates Jesus in loving others cares for their family and lives in appropriate family relationships is even tempered, gentle, self-controlled is honest, trustworthy and reliable is respectable, viewed well by outsiders is generous and hospitable is able to teach and to refute wrong teachings a mature Christian who holds firmly to Christian beliefs loves what is good is willing to serve others does not misuse authority over others knows their strengths and weaknesses knows their boundaries

16. “…what are today’s students looking for in their mentors? Probably the greatest attributes students long for are transparency and honesty. They are not looking for biblical scholars or perfect Christians; instead, they want real relationships with imperfect people who are earnestly seeking God and actively working out their salvation. They want to know about the struggles and trials of healthcare, and how to negotiate the difficult and changing times in which we live.” • Ken Jones and Darilyn Falck, Paying It Back: The Honor of Being Entrusted

17. Remembering your own experiences • as a Medical student

18. The first weeks … What were you anxious about? How did you feel about your lack of experience? What doubts did you have? How best did you learn? What/who helped you? What do you know now that you would like to have known then? What would have encouraged or supported you (or perhaps did), and how?

19. Consider your own …. • Communication style • Experiences • Challenges • Gifts • Mistakes and failures • Christian witness • Vulnerabilities/temptations • Griefs and losses Knowing yourself as mentor

20. Goals and Expectations

21. Goals and expectations must be clarified and negotiated Growth as a Christian Growth and maturity in Christ (Col 1:28; Eph 4:12-14) Encouraging one another to continue in love and good deeds (Heb 10:24, 25) Growth as a Christian Doctor/Dentist Faith/practice integration issues Expectations around Meeting The how, when and what of meeting

22. Growing as a Christian Doctor/Dentist • Logistics • Material • Frequency • Faith in workplace • Ethics • Healing • Prayer • Worship • Confession • Growing as a Christian • Success/failure • Godly character • God’s Word • Structure • Mode • Sharing faith • Fellowship • Relationships • Witness • Time Management • Stress • Approach • Session length Brainstorm diagram - A working progress

23. Approaches to mentoring

24. Inductive “Questions are our master tool” (Mallison, 124) Jesus used questions frequently eg in his transformation of individuals (Jn 4:7; 8:10), teaching and mentoring his disciples (Jn 6:67, 20:15; Mt 16:13-16). Asking appropriate questions helps a mentee to take responsibility for their godly growth rather than growing dependent on their mentor.

25. Example Questions How is your sense of God's call being clarified? Where are your skills being tested? Where is your character being tested? What are your hopes and dreams for your future work? How can I help you? What evidence can you point to of the presence and power of God in your vocation? How is your relationship/communication style impacting your ministry? What are some new things you could try? What are some things we could do that would help you to be more a person of integrity? What pain have you experienced and what were some of the effects of that pain? How has that shaped who you are? How might God use your past to prepare you for work in the future? Let's pretend that God knows what he's doing in your life, even though things haven't worked out as you'd hoped. What might he be teaching you through that? As you assess your growth, where do you see areas you need to work on? What are your felt deficiencies? How is your work affecting your own relationship with God? An edited excerpt from Gary Kuhne’s, The Dynamics of Personal Follow-Up: The Art of Making Disciples.

26. Assurance of salvation Developing the devotional life Church involvement Power for living through the Holy Spirit Developing prayer life Obedient living Dealing with temptations Discerning God’s guidance Developing an evangelistic testimony Victorious living Gary Kuhn, The Dynamics of Personal Follow Up: The Art of Making Disciples

27. Deductive (Kuhne, pp 149-206)

28. Head, Heart and Hands • - the whole person • Head • Heart • Hands

29. Head Head involves considering how the person you are mentoring is doing life, work and faith from a thinking or rational perspective. Are they reading their Bible and spending time with God in prayer? Are they thinking through integrating faith in God with work and life? Are there any ethical issues they need to think through or discuss? In what areas of their life and work do they need wisdom? Sometimes they may have big life-changing decisions to make. Other times, they may need help with just “doing life” as a Christian.

30. Heart Heart involves considering how your mentee is loving God and other people. Are they taking time to soak up the joy of being a child of God? Do they have space in their lives to enjoy God’s creation and to rest in Him? Are they sharing loving fellowship with others through a church community and perhaps through other fellowship activities? Do they need encouragement to persevere when motivation is low? Can they love their patients, work colleagues and supervisor? How can they show respect to their superior(s)? Is there sin in their life that they’re having difficulty dealing with? Do they need to forgive someone for wronging them? Can help them to identify their gifts and use them in the workplace?

31. Hands Hands involve practically serving God and others through action. How are they serving God and others through their workplace/study? What are they doing to be active in a Christian ministry? Are they showing hospitality? Are they serving at church through actively being involved - whether it is prayer ministry, working bees, playing music, or welcoming … practical involvement is significant - even for busy people. If they can’t commit to regular involvement because of work, then are there ways they can serve periodically?

32. Resources Programs/Articles/Books/CDs CMF, The Human Journey: Thinking Biblically About Health Janet Goodall, The Doctor’s Life of Faith Graham McCall, At Any Given Moment Peter Saunders, Surviving the Foundation Years John Stott, Serving Christ in Medicine CD Set

33. Potential pitfalls and how to avoid them

34. Potential pitfalls Overdependence of the mentee on the mentor Lack of commitment to the mentoring process, or commitment to the relationship but not to godly growth goals Lack of trust or openness on the part of the mentee or breaches of confidentiality by the mentor Unclear expectations or goals Others ….

35. Example Structure of a Mentoring Session Brief opening prayer devoting time to God, led by the Holy Spirit Overview of relationship with God, current issues, etc Bible reading and reflection or Review of book chapter or article or program or CD Discussion Application Session review and questions/‘homework’ to take away Prayer (mentee to pray as well as mentor)

36. References Holy Bible: New International Version, Zondervan, 1984. Goodall, Janet, The Doctor’s Life of Faith. CMF: London, 2014. Kunich, John C. Lester, Richard I. Leadership and the Art of Mentoring: Tool Kit for the Time Machine. http://www.au.af.mil/au/awc/awcgate/au-24/kunich.pdf. Cited 21 January 2015. Kuhne, Gary W. The Dynamics of Personal Follow-Up: The Art of Making Disciples. Zondervan: Grand Rapids, 1976. Lewis, Rick. Mentoring Matters: Building Strong Christian Leaders, Avoiding Burnout, Reaching the Finishing Line. Kregel Publications,Grand Rapids, 2009. McCall, Graham, At A Given Moment: Faith Matters in Healthcare. CMF: London, 2011. Mallison, John, Mentoring to Develop Disciples and Leaders. SU/Open Book: Lidicombe, 1998. Palmer Bradley, Anne, “Mentoring: Following the Example of Christ,” A Journal of the International Christian Community for Teacher Education, Spring 2014, Vol. 9, Issue 2 Saunders, Peter, Surviving the Foundation Years: How to Thrive as a Christian Doctor. CMF:London,2012. Stott, John, Serving Christ in Medicine. CD Series, CMF: 2011.