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Improving your essay

Editing and Revising . Improving your essay. Repeated mistake #1. Long works (books, movies, music albums) – use italics Short works (essays!!, poems, short stories, songs) – use quotation marks Both “Civil Disobedience” and “Letter From Birmingham Jail” are shorter.

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Improving your essay

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  1. Editing and Revising Improving your essay

  2. Repeated mistake #1 • Long works (books, movies, music albums) – use italics • Short works (essays!!, poems, short stories, songs) – use quotation marks • Both “Civil Disobedience” and “Letter From Birmingham Jail” are shorter. • (Notice: it’s FROM, not TO Birmingham Jail)

  3. Repeated mistake #2 You may NOT refer to Dr. King as MLK.

  4. Repeated mistake #3 • Always use an apostrophe when required in a singular possessive: King’s, Thoreau’s, the audience’s • Proper use of an apostrophe with a plural possessive: the authors’

  5. Repeated mistake #4 Please avoid using 1st person (we, our, I, my) or 2nd person (you, your)

  6. Repeated mistake #5 Make sure you actually copied the quote correctly!

  7. Ellipses • NOT necessary at beginning or end of quote, as in: “…when you have seen hate-filled policemen curse, kick and even kill your black brothers and sisters…” • Necessary only for demonstrating there are words missing WITHIN a quote, as in: “Was not Jesus an extremist for love… Was not Amos an extremist for justice… Was not Paul an extremist for the Christian gospel?”

  8. Quote within a quote • Use double quotation marks • YES: • “We should never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was ‘legal’” • NO: • “We should never forget that everything Adolf Hitler did in Germany was “legal”…” • “Before closing I feel impelled to mention one other point in your statement that has troubled me profoundly. You warmly commended the Birmingham police force for keeping “order” and “preventing violence.”

  9. Using semicolons Primarily: for joining two complete sentences COMMA SPLICE: Both of the authors are very straight-forward,  there is no beating around the bush. SEMICOLON: Both of the authors are very straight-forward; there is no beating around the bush.

  10. Using semicolons, cont COMMA SPLICE: King however, never really gets forceful in his piece,  he uses his tranquil tones to show his audience the point of all the things he is doing in Birmingham.   SEMICOLON: King however, never really gets forceful in his piece; he uses his tranquil tones to show his audience the point of all the things he is doing in Birmingham.  

  11. Embedding Quotes (it’s not as easy as you think!)

  12. INSTEAD OF saysstates or quotes (which you shouldn’t use anyway!) • suggests • implies • testifies to • indicates • argues (that, for) • shows • demonstrates • supports • underscores

  13. Common errors • Quoting too much – keep it sharp and pithy • Quoting too frequently – NOT a patchwork quilt or a list • Taking the quote out of context or misinterpreting it

  14. Make sure the meaning is clear ORIGINAL REVISION Drawing Othello further into his web, Iago suggests that public embarrassment would be intolerable: "Who steals my purse steals trash; . . . / . . . / But he that filches from me my good name / Robs me of that which not enriches him / And makes me poor indeed" (3.3.157-61). Iago, of course, is utterly contradicting his earlier declamation to Cassio on the folly of reputation (2.3.256-61). • Iago says to Othello, "Who steals my purse steals trash; . . . / . . . / But he that filches from me my good name / Robs me of that which not enriches him / And makes me poor indeed" (3.3.157-61).

  15. Build the quote into the text – avoiding says, states, quotes Original revision The tension builds when Brutus accuses Cassius of accepting bribes: "Let me tell you, Cassius, you yourself / Are much condemned to have an itching palm, / To sell and mart your offices for gold . . ." (4.3.9-11). • The tension builds when Brutus accuses Cassius of accepting bribes. He states, "Let me tell you, Cassius, you yourself / Are much condemned to have an itching palm, / To sell and mart your offices for gold . . ." (4.3.9-11).

  16. Be concise and lively: Original revision In The Prince Machiavelli states that a prince should "endeavor to avoid those things which would make him the object of hatred and contempt" (64). • In The Prince Machiavelli states that the general requirement of a prince is to "endeavor to avoid those things which would make him the object of hatred and contempt" (64).

  17. Writing a conclusion that isn’t boring

  18. Your conclusion should: • Answer the question “SO WHAT?” • Synthesize NOT summarize • Redirect your reader – give him/her something new to consider • NEVER EVER EVER USE “in conclusion” or “to conclude”

  19. Ideas for conclusions • Echoing the introduction: • NOT repeating it • coming full circle to the same idea(s) • elaborating on something similar • Challenging the reader: Application of the essay’s topic to their lives • Looking to the future – emphasize the importance of the essay’s topic(s) • Posing questions – • new perspective on the topic • new meaning to the topic

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