Common Commentary Errors

1. Common Commentary Errors The Catcher in the Rye Bennett

2. Commentary is Generic • Holden tried to protect himself from being hurt emotionally, sometimes even wearing his red hunting hat. This was his way of protecting himself. When he wore the red hat, he felt better.

3. Commentary is Generic • Holden tried to protect himself from being hurt emotionally, sometimes even wearing his red hunting hat. This was his way of protecting himself. When he wore the red hat, he felt better. • Better: His isolation meant he made very few friends. Preferring to remember those people who had known and accepted him in the past, he puts on the red hunting hat and ignores people in the present.

4. Commentary Drifts from Topic Sentence • Holden tried to protect himself from being hurt emotionally, sometimes even wearing his red hunting hat. Red hats were not fashionable in the 1940’s and 1950’s.

5. Commentary Drifts from Topic Sentence • Holden tried to protect himself from being hurt emotionally, sometimes even wearing his red hunting hat. Red hats were not fashionable in the 1940’s and 1950’s. • Better: Holden tried to protect himself from being hurt emotionally, sometimes even wearing his red hunting hat so he could hide beneath it. He was afraid to reveal himself to other people because it might create an opportunity for him to get hurt.

6. Commentary is really Concrete Detail • Holden tried to protect himself from being hurt emotionally, sometimes even wearing his red hunting hat. He told Ackley that his hat was a people-shooting hat.

7. Commentary is really Concrete Detail • Holden tried to protect himself from being hurt emotionally, sometimes even wearing his red hunting hat. He told Ackley that his hat was a people-shooting hat. • Better: He used the hat to make himself invisible to others, thinking they would not have access to his real self. If no one sees him, no one can communicate or connect with him. Then he will not risk getting hurt.

8. Commentary is Repetitive • Holden tried to protect himself from being hurt emotionally, sometimes even wearing his red hunting hat. He wore the hat to protect himself. He didn’t want to get emotionally hurt.

9. Commentary is Repetitive • Holden tried to protect himself from being hurt emotionally, sometimes even wearing his red hunting hat. He wore the hat to protect himself. He didn’t want to get emotionally hurt. • Better: Holden desperately tried to keep himself from completely breaking down and his hat allowed him to feel strong.

10. Commentary Contradicts Topic Sentence • Holden tried to protect himself from being hurt emotionally, sometimes even wearing his red hunting hat. Holden wore his hat because he thought it looked nice.

11. Commentary Contradicts Topic Sentence • Holden tried to protect himself from being hurt emotionally, sometimes even wearing his red hunting hat. Holden wore his hat because he thought it looked nice. • Better: The red hat comforts Holden and gives him the courage to leave Pencey, go back to New York City and eventually to go see Phoebe.