Two conversations real quick

1. Two conversations real quick • Think about a situation in your life where you have an important decision to make. Something significant hanging over you. • When you come up with it, tell me how long you have been thinking about this particular decision in taking the next step

2. Listening Skills • Empathy • Reflection • Summarizing • Open Ended • Close Ended • Affirming

3. Open ended toss the ball • Group stands in circle. Toss a ball to each other. The person who tosses ball say “open” or “closed” person catching the ball has to quickly ask an open or closed question, which ever is requested by thrower. Process difference between open an closed.

4. Open ended vs closed ended • Pair up, each person practices listening than not listening to each other. Process what did they do to not listening, and how did it feel to not be heard

5. Open ended closed 2 activity Pair up. Each person has the chance to ask the other what they did last night, getting details using only closed ended questions. Than they find what their perfect vacation is using only open ended. Process

6. Part 2. • You have to make this decision right now. By the time we head to our first break you have to make a commitment in one direction or the other and begin taking steps to move that direction • You are not allowed to have second thoughts, they would mean you are not sincere or committed. It would count again you. Now, if you don’t make a commitment or move forward, you will be fired.

7. In that lil moment when you felt like it was real-ish. Getting fired. What was your first reaction? Why is this interesting

8. I asked you to consider a situation in which you are ambivalent.

9. Ambivalence • the coexistence within an individual of positive and negative feelings toward the same person, object, or action, simultaneously drawing him or her in opposite directions.

10. Ambi • a prefix occurring in loanwords from Latin, meaning “both”

11. Valence • The degree of attraction or aversion that an individual feels toward a specific object or event.

12. Types of ambivalence • This and That • This and not this • Not this and not that • They are all powerful, but can’t go together, kind of an uncomfortable place to be

13. A Decision is scary because its feels final. “If I choose this, than I will never know….” • “I’m the one who did it…”

14. Ambivalent is common in the “Contemplative” stage of change-not totally sure what to do • Stages of change-Transtheoretical Model-Prochaszka • Suggests that people go through steps/stages in the process of change

15. Prochaska 4 types of pre-contemplators (4 R’s)-Doesn’t realize/acknowledge there is a problem, not willing or up for change. • Reluctant-Waffle, backs off, acts confused • Rebellious-Gets angry, “It’s my body…” • Rationalizing- Will explain calmly and in great details why change is not possible right now • Resigned-”I know I should, this is just how I am, I have tried before…”

16. Temptation • Get them to make a decision, or push them forward • In most cases we get the opposite, we create resistance • Decision made under pressure may lead to buyers regret.

17. Temptation cont. • “Getting” people to do it works on a small percentage, everyone else we ignore-intermittent reward • Coercion-tends to not work with most people in the contemplation stage

18. Stages of change • Precontemplation • Contemplation • Preparation • Action • Maintenance-Relapse prevention

19. Precontemplation During the precontemplation stage, patients do not even consider changing. Smokers who are "in denial" may not see that the advice applies to them personally. Patients with high cholesterol levels may feel "immune" to the health problems that strike others. Obese patients may have tried unsuccessfully so many times to lose weight that they have simply given up.

20. Contemplation During the contemplation stage, patients are ambivalent about changing. Giving up an enjoyed behavior causes them to feel a sense of loss despite the perceived gain. During this stage, patients assess barriers (e.g., time, expense, hassle, fear, "I know I need to, doc, but ...") as well as the benefits of change.

21. Preparation • During the preparation stage, patients prepare to make a specific change. They may experiment with small changes as their determination to change increases. For example, sampling low-fat foods may be an experimentation with or a move toward greater dietary modification. Switching to a different brand of cigarettes or decreasing their drinking signals that they have decided a change is needed.

22. Action • The action stage is the one that most physicians are eager to see their patients reach. Many failed New Year's resolutions provide evidence that if the prior stages have been glossed over, action itself is often not enough. Any action taken by patients should be praised because it demonstrates the desire for lifestyle change.

23. Exercise + • Not listening • Listening

24. Delivering the message • 7% Words we use • 38% Tone of voice • 55% Body language

25. Non-verbal Communications • S quarely • O pen • L ean • E ye contact • R elaxed Minimal Encouragers

26. Basic Listening Skills Problem Solving Confrontation Genuiness Questions Summarization Empathizing Attending

27. S.M.A.R.T Goals • Specific • Measurable   • Attainable • Realistic      • Timely • Create a new SMART lifestyle balance goal for yourself.   27