Tried and True Keys for Mentoring

1. Tried and True Keys for Mentoring

2. 1. Be a Friend • Mentors are usually described as friends • An ideal older brother or sister- Provide gentle guidance • Do not be an authority figure • Don’t preach your values

3. 2. Have Realistic Goals and Expectations • Relationships take time and patience • Primary goal is to create a trusting relationship- Positive changes will follow • Emphasize friendship over performance

4. 3. Have Fun Together • Many of the youth have few opportunities for fun • Simplistic activities • Introduce them to new experiences

5. 4. Give Mentee Voice and Choice in Deciding Activities • Let them partner in deciding what the two of you do • Helps with decision making skills • They may not be involved at first • Set clear limits about the amount of money you spend

6. SEX, POLICTICS & RELIGION

7. 5. Be Positive • Develop self-esteem and self-confidence • Be encouraging • Be yourself- Don’t be fake positive

8. 6. Let the Mentee Control What the Two of you Talk About • Listening and talking are at the heart of the relationship • Respect limits • Don’t push mentee to discuss personal matters • Some open up quickly and others take time

9. 7. Listen • Let the mentee talk • They have a voice that needs to be heard • Friends listen • Listening offers emotional support

10. 8. Respect the Trust Your Mentee Places in You • Be supportive and do not lecture • Give any advice with a grain of salt • Sound like a friend, not a parent • Reassure mentee that you are there for them • Keep your word

11. 9. Remember that Your Relationship is with the Youth- No One Else • Do not get involved in family issues • Do not be judgmental • Show empathy and support • Primary focus is on the youth

12. 10. Remember you are Responsible for Building the Relationship • Be careful not to rush it • They may be resistant and shy at first- Give it time • Some may not trust the adults in their life and are testing you • Maintain contact- Be consistent