The Developing Empath

1. Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant? – Henry David Thoreau Nurturing the developing person to express empathy. The Developing Empath By Laura M. Rodriguez

2. Definition and Scope of Empathy • At the organismal (multi-organ) life level, empathy is the response by the organ of one multi-organism to the stimuli received (and transmitted) by a separate multi-organism. • Empathy is one the first (humanly-identified) survival instincts for the species (not just for the multi-organism). In certain rare cases, empathy may trigger beyond one species: such as for all members of a particular life kingdom, and in rarer cases, all members of the five recognized life kingdoms (i.e.. endangered-species activism). • Empathy is usually strongest among members of the same species. In rarer cases, a superior species develops empathy for a weaker, separate species (i.e.. human adoption of domestic animals).

3. Other Academic Definitions of Empathy • An affective response more appropriate to someone else’s situation than one’s own (Hoffman, 2000). • Other-oriented feelings of concern, compassion, and tenderness experienced as a result of witnessing another person’s suffering (Batson, Fultz & Schoenrode, 1987). • An emotional response that stems from another’s emotional state or condition that is congruent with the other’s emotional state or situation (Eisenberg, 1987).

4. Psychiatrist Helen Riess on Empathy • Dr. Helen Riess describes a real-life example of empathy displayed by a 3-year old toddler in an airplane. So, how early does the developing person develop the capacity for empathy? • Scientists report empathic responses in children begin as early as12-months old (Tuma, R., 2006). Precursors begin earlier. • Mirror neurons in the brain have been identified as facilitators of • empathy, allowing infants to activate the same neuronal pathways that a caregiver is firing in order to learn to move and speak through imitation (Diamond & Amso,2008).

5. Importance of Raising Empaths • Psychopathy: a lack of the development inempathic ability (brain regions lighting up as the result of stimuli received by another person’s brain) either by lack of proper nurture or genetic fingerprint. • Research suggests as many as 1 in 7 human beings are psychopaths, but not all develop into violent criminals(National Geographic, 2013). • Most human brains’ empathic ability is turned to “On” either by nurture or genetic instruction (although persons will greatly vary in the frequency and intensity of their empathic response) (National Geographic, 2013). • Psychopaths have the empathic response turned to “Off.” Some psychopaths can create the empathic response if asked to focus on producing it (be told to focus in feeling another person’s pain) (National Geographic, 2013). • Psychopathy is the absence of empathy.

6. Psychopathy: failure to empathize • The following National Geographic video segment explains the antagonistic relationship between empathy and psychopathy: • Scientists note an average 17% decrease in size of the amygdala of the brains of psychopaths. • Some scientists associate the amygdala with the empathic response. Curious Aside: In an earlier segment of the video, the Navy SEALS are being trained to have decreased amygdala responses (not shown above, but available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1imN6oc_YtU).

7. Other Reasons to Raise Empaths • “Emotional intelligence” is defined by our ability to work through our emotions and the emotions of others. It has been identified as an essential characteristic to succeed in: • Work environments • Personal relationships • Romantic relationships • Community organizations • Social leadership • One of the most important components of emotional intelligence is empathy (Palmer, S., n.d.).

8. Empathy vs Projection • Projection is OFTENconfused for empathy by some individuals. • Projection is defined as “the act of ascribing one’s attitudes thoughts, feelings, etc. to someone else” (Random House College Dictionary, 1980). • Whereas psychopathy can be defined as the lack of empathy (lack of an action), projection is the direct opposite of the action of empathy. • Projection means that one believes another person is sad, angry or happy (or has a certain opinion) because those are the feelings or opinions that one is feeling himself/herself (Eisenberg & Strayer, 2013).

9. Empathy vs Sympathy • Many people wonder if there is a difference between empathy and sympathy. • The first definitions provided by Google Define for sympathy are: • “feeling of sorrow or pity for another person’s misfortunes” • “understanding between people; common feeling.” • The above definitions for sympathy beg the question of what is the difference between empathy and sympathy. • For the purpose of this presentation, “empathy” refers to the internal reaction of feeling or understanding another’s pain and sympathy refers to the external actions taken as the result of empathy. Hence under my definitions, empathy always precedes sympathy.

10. Empathy vs Affect & Personal Distress • Researchers (Hoffman, 1982) include a caveat in the definition of empathy: the level of self-awareness. • If an infant expresses the affect (emotions) of another person but does not distinguish them as being separate from his or her own, the infant is defined as NOT experiencing empathy, but the precursor to empathy (Feshbach, 1978; Kohut 1978; Rogers & Truax, 1967). • If the distress of another person causes you to be distressed (because the other person has screamed “FIRE!”), this is simply defined as personal distress (not empathy) because the distress is ego-centric (one becomes worried about one’s own survival) instead of 0ther-centric (Eisenberg & Strayer, 2013).

11. What is an empath? • People from different walks of life will describe empaths in different ways. • Most commonly, people will not be familiar with the term. • The most common street definition of empath: people who have empathy. • People will describe persons who exercise empathy for a living as priests, monks, nuns, psychics, psychologists, counselors, nurses, shamans, caregivers, teachers or doctors. • Other people describe an empath as an amazing friend, sibling or parent. • Most healthy, well-adjusted human beings are empathsto some degree. • For the purpose of this presentation, an “empath” is a person that uses empathy in interpersonal (and sometimes internatural: as with animals or plants) interactions more often than the average person. • We will cover how to nurture the developing person to be an empath (i.e.. those amazing friends, siblings, parents and community leaders).

12. Empathy Precursors Begin at Birth • A newborn crying in the hospital nursery will trigger crying among other newborns. Although it has not been proven that this is true empathy, most researchers consider this to be a precursor to empathy. The infant feels uncomfortable at the sound of crying. • At one year old, the infant will focus his/her eyes on the object another person is reaching towards before they touch it. This anticipation reaction is enabled by his/her mirror neurons. • At 2 years old, a toddler may offer her/his mother a toy that has made her/him feel better in the past. This is an example of sympathy, which means it had a true empathic precedent (Kurtner, L., n.d.).

13. From Day One to Two Years Old • When a mother slowly and gently comforts her crying infant, she teaches the infant how to comfort herself and how to (later) comfort others. • As an infant falls in love with the people that care for her, she develops the emotional capacity for later feelings of empathy. • At 9-months old, a child may put a blanket on his head and then pull it off and look for others laughter or approval. At this age, infants are becoming aware of the feelings of others. • When a toddler begins crying his mother left him at the nursery, other toddlers may immediately become somber. • When a child scrapes his knee, other children gather in imitation of the adults who care for them (Poole, C., n.d.).

14. From 2 to 6 Years Old • Two year olds are capable of demonstrating sympathy for each other, a sign that empathy has been developed. Examples: • Patting a friend’s back when they drop an ice cream cone. • Feeding a friend when the noodles keep slipping off their spoon. • Two year olds develop the ability to care for one another, especially when helping each other is talked about and modeled by adults. • At three years old, children can recognize the feelings of others. • At four years old, children begin to see situations from another’s perspective more easily. • At 5 to 6 years old, children may routinely take action (sympathy). Example: telling their teacher a classmate is hurt (Poole, C., n.d.).

15. General Tips for Raising an Empath • Help children put words to their emotions: helping children find the right words that express what they are feeling is a great way for them to come to understand the feelings of others. • Feel out loud: share thoughts and feelings about situations going on in the family, what friends are going through, what other children are going through, or what you see on TV/movies. • Include empathy as part of discipline: mention the consequences of what they do as to how another person is made to feel or think. • Reward empathy: when children express empathy autonomously, lavish them with rewarding praise (Palmer, S., n.d.).

16. Developing Empathy in Adults • Some adults continue developing their empathic responses into seniority. • Certain professions lend themselves to the continuous practice of empathy such as psychology, priesthood or teaching (all different types of counseling). • Having witnessed or experienced suffering and received solace may have long-lasting effects on a person continuing to develop empathy. • Because the development of empathy varies with the nurture and experiences of each person, adults have widely-varying capacities to respond empathetically to situations (for example: military training or police force training may discourage empathetic responses). • Self-awareness of the degree of empathy that one has developed or that another person possesses (it’s not as common a personality trait to talk about as lazy or funny are) may change the rate of development of the trait (i.e. teaching adults about empathy may increase their capacity for empathy). • Sharing stories with other empaths also modifies the rate of empathy development.

17. Example of an Adult Empath • The following video demonstrates how a professor uses empathy to teach college students to empathize with other citizens of the world: Source: TEDx Talks (2013).

18. Conclusion Importance of empath development: • Promoting and developing our humanity. • Promoting acts of selflessness and generosity in ourselves and others. • Becoming better able to comfort ourselves and others. • Preventing (instead of combatting) crime. • Becoming better workers, parents, children, friends and partners in life. • Becoming better citizens of our country and of the world. • Becoming better leaders and better social decision-makers. • Understanding ways to improve our society and civilization.

19. Through the Eyes of Perfect Empathy Source: Cleveland Clinic (2013). Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant? – Henry David Thoreau

20. References • Batson, C.D., J. Fultz, and P. Schoenrade (1987). Distress and Empathy: Two Qualitatively Distinct Vicarious Emotions with Different Motivational Consequences, Journal of Personality (pp. 55: 19–39). • Berger (2011). The Developing Person: Through the Life Span, New York: Worth Publishers. • Cleveland Clinic (2013). Empathy: The Human Connection to Patient Care. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDDWvj_q-o8 • Diamond, A., Amso, D. (2008). Contributions of neuroscience to our understanding of cognitive development. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 17, pp. 136-141. • Eisenberg, N., Strayer, J. (1987). Empathy and Its Development, Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. • Feshbach, N.D. (1978) Studies of empathic behavior in children. In B.A. Maher (Ed.), Progress in experimental personality research (pp.1-47). New York: Academic Press. • Hoffman, M.L. (1982) Development of prosocial motivation: Empathy and guilt. In N. Eisenberg (Ed.), The development of prosocial behavior (pp. 281-338). New York: Academic Press. • Hoffman (2000). Empathy and Moral Development, Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. • Kohut, H. (1978). The Search for the Self (Vo1. 1). New York: International Universities Press. • Kurtner, L. (n.d.). How Children Develop Empathy. PsychCentral. Retrieved from: http://psychcentral.com/lib/how-children-develop-empathy/0001234 • National Geographic (2013). The Human Brain. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1imN6oc_YtU • Palmer, S. (n.d.). Empathy: Why It's Important, Why We Should Nurture It in Our Kids. ParentFurther. Retrieved from: http://www.parentfurther.com/blog/raising-empathetic-kids • Poole, C., Miller, S., EdD, Booth, E. (n.d.). Ages & Stages: Empathy. Scholastic. Retrieved from: http://www.scholastic.com/teachers/article/ages-stages-empathy • Rogers, C. R., & Truax, C. B. (1967). The therapeutic relationship and its impact. The therapeutic conditions antecedent to change: A theoretical view. In C. R. Rogers (Ed.) (pp. 97-108). Westport, CT: Greenwood. • Stein, J. (1980). Random House College Dictionary. New York: Random House.l • TEDx Talks (2013). A radical experiment in empathy: Sam Richards at TEDxPSU. Retrieved from:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUEGHdQO7WA • TEDx Talks (2013). The power of empathy: Helen Riess at TEDxMiddlebury. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baHrcC8B4WM. • Tuma, R. (2006). Anticipating Actions begins Age 1. Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory DNA Learning Center. The Dana Review. Retrieved from: http://www.dnalc.org/view/851-Developing-Mirror-Neurons.html