“Teaching Revision by Teaching the Language and Importance of Revision ”

1. Josh M Daugherty is my name. a.k.a. “Hmm, let’s try something...” “Teaching Revision by Teaching the Language and Importance of Revision”

2. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO REVISE?! “Revision literally means ‘to see again,’ to look at something from a fresh, critical perspective. It is an ongoing process of rethinking the paper...” from http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/revision.html

3. some say, “Good writing is essentially revision. I am positive of this.” - Roald Dahl “Revision is one of the pleasures of writing. I love the flowers of afterthought.” - Bernard Malamud “I had a productive day today. In the morning I wrote a paragraph, and in the afternoon I crossed it out.” - Gustave Flaubert

4. “The real lesson we all should have learned from those Writing Process conferences we attended is that writing isn’t a Process (capital P) at all, but a galaxy of processes, varied with the needs of the subject, the audience, the writer’s purpose, and, most especially, the temperament of the writer.” Conrad Geller “Speaking My Mind: Revision Revisited The English Journal 90.1 • “A source of difficulty in revision...is inappropriate task definition. When teachers assign revision tasks, they typically hope that the students will define revision in the same way they do, that is, that their students will set the same goals, make use of the same procedures, and apply the same criteria for success.” • David L. Wallace & John R. Hayes • “Redefining Revision for Freshmen” • from NWP.org

5. THE QUESTION BEGINS WITH:How can I create an environment in which students write with more of a purpose/motivation than simply creating a product to receive a grade? The easy answer: Make it matter. Give them something more to get out of it.A [SMALLER] QUESTION:What is [arguably] the most important part of the writing process? Revision. So: How can I engage students in revision/response on a level in which they “buy into” the importance of revision by realizing its purposes & potential payoff?REASONABLE-SEEMING ANSWERS:- Students need modeling...- Students need motivation and/or relevance...- Students need the language of revision...- Students need ideas for revision (genre- and/or assignment-specific)...- Students need the opportunity to have their say... - Students need the structure/venue for appropriate response/dialogue...THIS LEADS, THEN, TO THE QUESTION AT THE HEART OF MY DEMO:How can I help students see the benefits of engaging in purposeful, effective revision?

6. So, what are we going to do? We’ll try to work with some concepts of revision, with only minimal writing involved.

7. Step 1 = a brief free-write.The topic: “manunkind”

8. Step 2 = read the poem.“pity this busy monster, manunkind,” by e. e. cummings

9. Step 3 = respond to the poem.- your first impressions (1-2 sent.)- reference to phrases/images that make sense (2-4)- an attempt at interpretation (4-5 sent.) [some help / some ideas]: “I get it, and I like it.” “I get it, and I don't like it.” “I don't get it, but I like it.” “I don't get it, and I don't like it.” “This is an example of beautiful poetry.” “This is an example of weak poetry.” (why?) “This poem really makes me think.” “This poem makes me give up (on figuring it out).” [You could write what this poem makes you picture in your mind.] [You could try to illustrate what you think the point of the poem is.]

10. Step 4 = illustrate your response.(no words) Step 5 = exchange. & on the back of the illustration you receive, write what message or response the illustration conveys to you.

11. TODAY’S PROCEDURE (CONT.): STEP 6: Exchange drawings with a partner. On the back of the drawing you are given, write (in 2-3 sentences) what you think the picture is trying to convey. STEP 7: Now you have 10 minutes to converse with your partner. You each need to explain your drawing, and talk about what you thought the artist was trying to convey. By the end of the 10:00, you each need two specific suggestions to REVISE your drawing. Focus your suggestions on the two of the three following traits: CONTENT (what is actually IN the picture... What image(s) might better convey the intended idea? VOICE (the style of the picture)... Might different colors, different types of lines/shapes better convey the intended idea? ORGANIZATION (sizing, layout, etc.)... Might the picture be remixed to more effectively/creatively present the idea?

12. Now, attempt to either tweak your first drawing/draft, or elect to create a new illustration on clean paper. Which technique will elicit the better results? Q: So, what was the point? A: To show that some universal, prescribed revision or procedure for revision is, most likely, not going to be the cure for all problems with writing, and it does need to have some flexibility. What can be effective for all, though, is to make the language clear – using terminology that refers to exactly what we want to see in a particular piece – and asking global, probing questions about how effectively the piece conveys its intended message and/or achieves its intended purpose, and letting the conversation(s) and revision(s) take root and grow, organically, from there.

13. What can get in the way of good revision strategies? “Don't fall in love with what you have written. If you do, you will be hesitant to change it even if you know it's not great. Start out with a working thesis, and don't act like you're married to it. Instead, act like you're dating it, seeing if you're compatible, finding out what it's like from day to day. If a better thesis comes along, let go of the old one. Also, don't think of revision as just rewording. It is a chance to look at the entire paper, not just isolated words and sentences.” (thoughts.) But I thought revision was just fixing the commas and spelling. “Nope. That's called proofreading. It's an important step before turning your paper in, but if your ideas are predictable, your thesis is weak, and your organization is a mess, then proofreading will just be putting a band-aid on a bullet wound. When you finish revising, that's the time to proofread.” from: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/revision.html

14. (more thoughts) Even if the strategy in this demo doesn’t seem like it would fly, what are some important points that are more universal? Allow time/days for drafting & revision Offer some sort of checklist of potential revisions (genre- or assignment-specific Avoid abstract statements about what revision is or why it matters. + From Shelly D. Smede’s “Interior Design: Revision as Focus” Why have students engage in various revision strategies? “Self-Assessment and reflection are our ultimate goals.” + From John Albertini’s “Classroom Assessment of Writing: Purpose, Issues, and Strategies.”

15. sources (Annotated Bibliography Coming soon to wiki) Albertini, John. “Classroom Assessment of Writing: Purpose, Issues, and Strategies.” National Technical Institute for the Deaf. Brown, Jane Lightcap. “Emphasizing the ‘What If?’ of Revision: Serial Collaboration and Quasi-Hypertext.” Teaching English in the Two-Year College 24.1 (1997): 34-41. Crossley, Gay Lynn and Wendy Bishop. “On Revision as a Recursive Practice.” Florida State University 29 May 2007. Farrington, Mark. “Four Principles Toward Teaching the Craft of Revision.” The Quarterly 21.2 (1999). Geller, Conrad. “Speaking My Mind: Revision Revisited.” The English Journal 90.1 (2000): 19-20. Graves, Donald. “What I’ve Learned from Teachers of Writing.” Language Arts 82.2 (2004): 88-94. Harper, Laura. “The Writer’s Toolbox: Five Tools for Active Revision Instruction.” Language Arts 74.3 (1997): 193-200. Hayes, John R. and David L. Wallace. “Redefining Revision for Freshmen.” National Center For the Study of Writing and Literacy Occasional Paper. 1990. Helton, Edwina L.; Sommers, Jeff . “Repositioning Revision: A Rhetorical Approach to Grading.” Teaching English in the Two-Year College 28.2 (2000): 157-64. Herrington, Anne, Kevin Hodgson, and Charles Moran, eds. Teaching the New Writing: Technology, Change, and Assessment in the 21st-Century Classroom. New York: Teachers College Press, 2009. Kinney, Kelly. “Facilitating Meaningful Revision.” Powerpoint presentation. State University of New York-Binghamton. Nowacek, Rebecca Schoenike. “Teaching Students to Make Meaningful Revisions.” University of Wisconsin-Madison 2009. Richards, Jack C. and Willy A. Renandya. Methodology in Language Teaching: An Anthology of Current Practice. New York: Cambridge University Press, 2002. Smede, Shelly D. “Interior Design: Revision as Focus.” The English Journal 90.1 (2000): 117-121. Weigle, Sara Cushing. Assessing Writing (Cambridge Language Assessment). New York: Cambridge University Press, 2002.