Abstinence

1. Abstinence

2. Abstinence Agenda • Decision Making • Abstinence • Refusal Skills • Consequences of Sexual Activity

3. Decision Making

4. Media Television Music Friends Parents Siblings Extended family Religious organizations Cultural traditions Associations School organizations (sports, clubs) Influences

5. Be mindful of what influences you!

6. Responsible Decision Making • Adolescence is a time for personal development • Adolescents will be exposed to new things and will face greater challenges in everyday life • Important to keep influences in mind when making a decision

7. POWER Decision-Making Model • P What is the Problem? • O What are my Options? • W Weigh pros and cons • E Execute your plan • R Reflect Consider YOUR Values

8. Making Sexual Decisions • Physical and emotional changes during adolescence can lead to confusion and concern • Important to know the difference between feelings of sexual attraction and love Remember: You DO NOT have to act on sexual impulses!

9. Making Sexual Decisions • Many teens act on sexual impulses out of curiosity, pressure from others, or a desire to be an adult • Decision to engage in sexual activity is the biggest and most important decision a teen can make due to life-long implications

10. Making Sexual Decisions • It is easier to make good judgments when you have a clear mind and are not feeling pressured • Remember: It is much easier to make decisions about your limits BEFORE you get involved in sexual activity “You have to stand for what you believe in. And sometimes you have to stand alone.” ~ Queen Latifah

11. Abstinence

12. Definition The conscious decision to avoid harmful behaviors, including sexual activity (before marriage) and the use of tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs.

13. How can I stay abstinent? • Establish your own priorities. • Priorities are those things that are most important to you.

14. How can I stay abstinent? • Set limits on how you are willing to express affection.

15. How can I stay abstinent? • Share your feelings with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

16. How can I stay abstinent? • Discuss your feelings with a trusted adult.

17. How can I stay abstinent? • Steer clear of high pressure situations. • Dark rooms • Unsupervised settings • Don’t use alcohol or other drugs that may affect judgment • If you are currently sexually active, re-evaluate your decision.

18. real love eliminate risks honor integrity / wholeness peace of mind emotional health self-respect clear conscience freedom to accomplish your goals clarity of mind better relationships better marriage good judgement in relationships maturity positive self-image reduced stress purposeful dating romance mystery Chastity: THE TOP 20 BENEFITS

19. Refusal Skills

20. Refusal Skills • Clear communication with partner • Verbal and non-verbal actions send the same message • Clear body language

21. Refusal Skills • Self-control • A person’s ability to override emotions and make a responsible decision • No conflicting actions • Assertiveness

22. Refusal Skills: Comebacks • The Come-on: Trust me. I won't let anything happen to you. • The Come-back: You don't have control over the whole situation. You don't know what is going to happen afterwards and I don't want to take the risk. • The Come-on: I've been tested and I'm clean. • The Come-back: It's nice that you've been tested, but I'm looking for someone who doesn't need to be tested because they are waiting like me. Besides, STDs aren't the only consequence of having sex. There is also the possibility of pregnancy and I'm definitely not ready to be a teenage mom! • The Come-on: But I love you. Don't you love me? • The Come-back: Love has nothing to do with it. I respect myself enough to wait.

23. Refusal Skills: Comebacks • The Come-on: SHOW me how much you love me. • The Come-back: I am showing you how much I love you by waiting. • The Come-on: No one will find out about this. • The Come-back: I will, and people knowing will be the least of my problems if I get a disease or have a baby. • The Come-on: It will bring us closer together. • The Come-back: If anything, it will make things more complicated and tear us apart.

24. Refusal Skills: Comebacks • The Come-on: If you won't have sex with me, I'll just find someone who will. • The Come-back: Go ahead. Find someone who doesn't respect you. • The Come-on: I'll break up with you if you don't have sex with me. • The Come-back: How sad that you are only with me to have sex. Now that I know this, it looks like you're doing me a favor dumping me. • The Come-on: It's OK, I've got a condom. • The Come-back: Condoms aren't 100% effective against STDs and pregnancy, and provide zero protection from the emotional hurt I could suffer. • The Come-on: I'll always love you. Let me share this with you. • The Come-back: If you will always love me, then it won't make a difference if we wait until I'm ready.

25. Consequences

26. Negative Consequences • Unplanned pregnancy • Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) • Loss of self-respect • Negative effects on social relationships

27. Unplanned Pregnancy • Complicates adolescent life: • adds serious responsibility • give up child for adoption is a possibility • 86% of teen pregnancies are unplanned • Giving birth at a young age increases health risks for both the mother and child • Limits the teens’ future • Drop out of school to support the child • Give up future plans for college, employment, etc.

28. STDs • Do we need to go over the STD slide show again?

29. Mental and Social Effects • Loss of self-respect • Diminished self-image • Tension between boyfriend/girlfriend relationships • Sexual activities may lead to unshared feelings, emotional attachment and other dilemmas

30. Soooo……It’s Great to Wait!