INTRODUCTIONS AND CONCLUSIONS

1. INTRODUCTIONS AND CONCLUSIONS Alyse Murphy and Kaylee Holyoak

2. How Do We Write Intros and Conclusions? www.patricialin.com/images/confused.bmp

3. Why Are They So Hard? • Introductions • Opening line: grab attention • Length: cutting the crap, still being effective • Topic: knowing what you’re talking about and being assertive • Audience: maintaining interest • Conclusions • Not just restating what you said • The “new twist” • Last line: ending with “umph”

4. Hooking Your Reader • “What gets my interest is the sense that a writer is speaking honestly and fully of what he knows well.” • Wendell Berry

5. What Goes Into Your Intro • A hook—interest your reader from the start • Why your topic is significant • The problem that is going to be addressed • The scope of the essay • Definition of any important terms • The argument to be presented—THESIS STATEMENT

6. Hooking Your Reader • Controversial statement • Element of surprise • Note of contradiction • Short, dramatic statement • Figure of speech • Quotation • Reference to a current event • Proof of your authority

7. Why Introductions Can Be Like Sacrament Talks • “Just so you all know, the Bishop called me last night to give this talk, so if it’s not any good, that’s why.” • “Thank goodness for my mom, she wrote this talk for me…” • “In Webster’s dictionary, faith is defined as…” • Dumb jokes. www.meridianmagazine.com/images/060119coversm.jpg

8. Pet Peeves and Bad Examples • Long, drawn out history of the topic: FROM THE BEGINNING OF TIME, EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD has wanted to learn more about the atmospheric conditions of Saturn. • Obvious facts that no one needs to be reminded of: Just recently, America elected their first African-American president. His name is Barack Obama, and he is a Democrat. He soundly beat John McCain in the national election and many people are very happy about it.

9. Pet Peeves and Bad Examples • Personal apology/excuses about the writer’s lack of knowledge about the topic: Since I am not an expert politician, I obviously don’t know much about this topic. But I felt like I had to write about this to fulfill the assignment requirements. • Dictionary definition: In the Oxford English Dictionary, happiness is defined as…

10. Pet Peeves and Bad Examples • Moralizing or “holier-than-thou” statements: Most righteous Latter-day Saints don’t drink coffee or tea, but many people think that drinking caffeinated soda is okay. I know that it is not—we need to take a stand against caffeine so that everyone knows where the Mormons stand.

11. The Art of Saying Nothing Profoundly(A Bad Example) Shakespeare’s Hamlet, admired for its poetic style and intriguing characters, has remained a classic for over three centuries. The character of Hamlet is probably one of Shakespeare’s most perplexing and most pleasing. He is easily identified with because of his multi-faceted personality and realistic problems.

12. Why Was That a Bad Example? • The student isn’t actually saying anything • She doesn’t know what she thinks or why she thinks it • Wordy • Is there an argument anywhere? • Takes the long road in • Assumes the reader doesn’t know anything about the subject

13. What’s Good About This?(A Better Example) He killed his brother. He married his brother’s wife. He stole his brother’s crown. A cold-hearted murderer, he is described by his brother’s ghost as “that incestuous, that adulterate beast” (I.v.42). The bare facts appear to stamp him an utter moral outlaw. Nonetheless, as his soliloquies and anguished asides reveal, no person in Hamlet demonstrates so mixed a true nature as Claudius, the newly made King of Denmark.

14. SO MUCH BETTER! • The writer knows what she is thinking • The writer clearly expresses where she is going • DRAMATIC! Draws your attention immediately • Short, succinct sentences • Straightforward • Phrasing: “utter moral outlaw” • You wonder who this horrible person could be

15. Questions to Ask Students • Opening line: Can you use a question, analogy, quotation, image, description, or narrative to make the opener more bold and interesting? • Substance/Length: What does your audience need to know here? Identify and cut plot summary or background info. • Topic: Tell me in your own words what you’re writing about. How can you convey that specifically to your audience? • Audience: What can you assume your audience already knows about this topic? What is new or different about your topic that might interest them?

16. Conclusions • “The most emphatic place in a clause or sentence is the end. This is the climax; and during the momentary pause that follows, the last word continues, as it were, to reverberate in the reader’s mind. It has, in fact, the last word. One should therefore think twice about what one puts at a sentence-end.” --F.L. Lucas

17. What should a conclusion do? • Sum it all up • Tell us where we’ve been and end with some UMPH! • Some may call this emotional gratification • Answer the “So what?” question • Readers want to know why the heck your paper is important to them

18. An Example “Throughout his play King Lear, Shakespeare develops many complex themes through the character of Lear. As previously demonstrated, Lear can be seen as a symbol of suffering, of disillusionment, and mortal weakness. The character of Lear is thus very complicated and makes us think about the many interesting complexities of mortal life and weakness.”

19. Let’s Evaluate • What was good? • What was bad? • How would you conference this student? • What would you include in a response letter?

20. Another Example Conclusion Remember that the command is to keep a personal journal. What you write are your words. And these thoughts, feelings and emotions are recorded in your journal. You can keep your journal the way you want to and in a way that reflects who you are. The benefits of journal writing will come if you keep a blog or a lined notebook of prose. The only thing that must be done is the record of events. Keeping a journal is only as daunting as we are willing to make it. We can refuse to take the time to find a way to keep a journal that fits with our personality and continue to be scared by a task that can be tackled more easily than that research paper due tomorrow. The choice is up to you. Everything about journaling is a choice that you get to make. We just have to choose that keeping a journal will not be as hard as people make it out to be, and we have to believe that we will be blessed for keeping this command that will bless more lives than just our own.

21. Works Cited • http://www.pnc.edu/engl/writingcenter/introcon.html • Townsend, Michael A., et al. "Effects of Introductions and Conclusions in Assessment of Student Essays." Journal of Educational Psychology 85.4 (1993): 670-78. • Trimble, John. Writing with Style. Prentice-Hall, Inc. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: 2000. • Lauren Everett Johnson. From: She’s a Rock Star Supplier of Great Information on Intros and Conclusions. 2009. Brigham Young University.