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Welcome to How To Handle Difficult People

Welcome to How To Handle Difficult People. Welcome!!!!. Welcome to How To Handle Difficult People. Reasons for Learning the Skill of Dealing with Difficult People. Keeps you from going crazy Separates the people from the problem Assists in accomplishing objectives

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Welcome to How To Handle Difficult People

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  1. Welcome to How To Handle Difficult People

  2. Welcome!!!!

  3. Welcome to How To Handle Difficult People

  4. Reasons for Learning the Skill of Dealing with Difficult People • Keeps you from going crazy • Separates the people from the problem • Assists in accomplishing objectives • Increase ministry effectiveness • Forces you to practice self-discipline

  5. What Makes a Person “Difficult”? They are a bottleneck to the productivity in the congregation • Constant complaining about everything • No concern for others feelings • They do not live out the Great Commandment • When people interrupt your conversation DD 0703 2of29

  6. What Are Some Challenging Behaviors? Blaming Manipulating Interrupting Sarcastic Excuse-making Controlling Criticizing Yelling Complaining Gossiping Murmuring Passive Aggressive

  7. Biblical Model to Handle Conflict "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.  "I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

  8. 2 Corinthians 12:20 20For I fear that when I come, I may find you not as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish; I fear that there may perhaps be quarrelling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder.

  9. Staying Calm • Breathe • In through the nose – out through the mouth • Pace • Depth • Relax • Jaws • Neck • Body • Maintain Healthy Attitude • Nondefensive • Confident, not arogant • Don’t take yourself to seriously • Repeat coping statements

  10. Dealing with your emotions in difficult situations • F • E • A • R ace the conflict/difficult people xpect the best results ssess the situation eact appropriately

  11. 10 Myths About Anger • Getting angry is the only way to get things done • It’s only natural to respond that way • Strongly confronting an angry person will back them down • Intimidation wins respect • Verbal or physical venting will have lasting calming effects • Anger is a bad emotion • There is only one way to deal with anger • Anger can’t be helped (it is just the way I am) • Not getting angry means they got away with it. • Ignore it and it will go away

  12. What Are Some Challenging Behaviors? Blaming Manipulating Interrupting Sarcastic Excuse-making Yelling Criticizing One-upmanship Complaining Gossiping Murmuring Passive Aggressive

  13. Identify Your Personal Communication Style and Understand Others Task Focus Passive Aggressive People Focus Get It RightGet It Done Get Along Get Appreciated

  14. Get It Right Strengths • Accurate • Fact finder • Precise • Organized

  15. Get It Right Weaknesses • Stubborn • Boring • Unimaginative • Change stifler

  16. Get It Right Effective Behaviors • Know your stuff • Schedule time – make an appointment • Use facts, logic, and structure • Proceed step-by-step

  17. Get It Done Strengths • Decisive • Gets things done • Confident

  18. Get It Done Weaknesses • Intimidates • Alienates people • Uses force instead of cooperation

  19. Get It Done Effective Behaviors • Get to the point • Approach businesslike • Be task-oriented • Understand and support their goals

  20. Get Appreciated Strengths • People-oriented • Persuasive • Verbal skills • Optimistic

  21. Get Appreciated Weaknesses • Egotistical • Lacks follow-through • Flaky • Disorganized

  22. Get Appreciated Effective Behaviors • Use flexibility • Be enthusiastic • Let them talk • Use demonstrations

  23. Get Along Strengths • Likeable • Loyal • Team Player • Patient

  24. Get Along Weaknesses • Indecisive • Wasted time • Overly emotional • Illogical decisions

  25. Get Along Effective Behaviors • Be casual and sincere • Slow down and listen • Make honesty safe • Set goals • Build them up

  26. Identify Your Personal Communication Style and Understand Others Task Focus Passive Aggressive People Focus Get It RightGet It Done Get Along Get Appreciated

  27. Gain More Power With Difficult People • Pacing • Backtracking • Clarifying

  28. Is It Worth Salvaging? Pros Cons DD 0703 26of29

  29. Conflict Management Strategies Collaborate Compete Compromise Avoid Accommodate

  30. Tips for Managing Conflict • Deal with conflict in a timely manner • If possible, keep information about the conflict confidential • Take responsibility for personal change • Focus on problem solving

  31. True insanity is continuing to do what we have always done and expecting a different outcome. Freud

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