Tama Baran Esq. on Managing the Divorce Litigation Process

1. Tama Baran on Managing the Divorce Litigation Process Nobody likes to engage in litigation at all, especially when it is extremely personal in nature, such as during a divorce. Exposing your finances and family arrangements concerning children and other matters is annoying, and can be emotional and painful. It is helpful to know what to expect in advance if you plan to file, or if someone has filed a Divorce Complaint against you. First, it is expensive, time-consuming and stressful to litigate issues in court. Therefore, even if a Divorce Complaint has already been filed, bear in mind you still can settle your case, or some of the main issues, at any time, thereby minimizing the issues left for a judge to decide. This provides an element of control over the process too, which should serve to minimize the stress and expense to some degree. TIP: Select an attorney that leans toward the collaborative approach, which could be asked of them during the initial consulation. Second, it is important to choose an attorney that communicates well with you. This does not mean someone who is available around the clock. Rather, it should be someone who responds to your emails and calls, and sets aside the time for in-person meetings when the situation warrants it. It should also be someone who you feel genuinely appreciates your position, but shares openly the strengths and weaknesses of your case with you and helps you to make decisions which will move the process along. TIP: Find out the attorney’s preferred method of communication and ask how you will be notified of important dates, documents and deadlines. Third, you should understand that the attorney representing your soon-to-be ex may not be of a collaborative mind, even if your attorney is, and even if they say they plan to reach an amicable settlement at the outset. Some attorneys proceed by filing Motions which will need to be responded to by your counsel. This runs up counsel fees and draws attention away from the potential for a settlement that both parties can live with. TIP: Recognize the limitations of your attorney’s ability to “change” another attorney’s style, and be prepared to be flexible with the period of time the case is taking to come to a conclusion. Fourth, be aware of your own obligations to the process. You have to promptly share complete

2. information requested of you, so that your attorney can do the best possible job on your behalf. Be forthcoming and plan to meet deadlines set by your attorney or the courts, so that you are always in a state of compliance and have met your obligations. This can become important if you need to file something with the court. It can be a difficult process and there can be a lot of paperwork and evidence. Your attorney will assist you with as much help as you require. TIP: If you feel overwhelmed, or something is confusing or seems too time-consuming, ask your attorney for assistance. Fifth, depending on the situation, consider the addition of an accountant and a therapist to guide you during this time in your life. There may be issues you have not had to deal with before with finances, and someone qualified to guide with those matters should become familiar with your case before you make important decisions. Your decisions could be different than you anticipated, depending upon their advice. Further, while attorneys are “counselors at law”, a therapist specializing in family issues could be of great assistance. This seems particularly true when minor children are involved, and the severity of many post-judgment issues may be lessened if there is access to this type of assistance during the process. TIP: Develop a team of professionals for yourself and your family during this time. Sixth, even if you have the best attorney, a therapist, an accountant and a settlement, it can still be a very challenging time in your life. A divorce is not a happy experience, even if both parties agree it is necessary. It is a change and a transition, and those periods in our lives are hard. This could be a good time to work out more, hire a nutritionist, or take a vacation, or even a staycation and just unplug for a few days. It is a time for a new beginning, and everything is going to be okay. TIP: Take good care of your health and wellness – whatever that means for you. About Tama Vail Baran, Esq.: Tama Vail Baran, Esq. is from Bordentown, NJ and has been an attorney for 18 years. She provides the best legal advice at a fair rate and help her clients achieve their goals.