American Dream Song Essay Peer Editing September 18, 2013

1. American Dream Song Essay Peer Editing September 18, 2013 • Good morning! Lots to accomplish today – let’s keep it focused! • Please get out your ADSE rough draft, as many highlighters as you have, and a colored pen. I will come around and check your drafts for completion in a moment! • Today’s peer edit will require CAREFUL attention – please be ready!  • REMEMBER: Unit 2 Vocab Quiz is tomorrow!

2. Just So You Know… • If you go to the American Dream Song Essaylink on my website, you will find the following VERY USEFUL handouts: • Essay assignment • Presentation on essay organization • How to Introduce Quoted Material • Electronic version of this presentation – I would recommend you using it tonight to get another set of eyes on your essay before you turn it in! • Rubric

3. WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR ON FINAL COPIES… • Essay Fundamentals: • Strong thesis statements that establish personal definition of the American dream and how the selected song conveys it • Clear topic sentences that set the direction for each body paragraph • Organization of essay – a sense of logic/order • Development of ideas • How specific are you in connecting your song lyrics to your dream’s definition? • Use of specific examples (if you see lots of repeated words and/or of “everyone, anybody, sometimes, never, always,” etc., you’re likely being too general)

4. ROUND ONE: You will do a few things to YOUR PAPER.

5. Step Two: Mark Key Text • Highlight your thesis statementin one color • Highlight your text evidence (song lyrics) throughout the whole essay in a different color. • Underline each body paragraph’s topic sentence

6. ROUND TWO: Select a reader you trust, and trade essays with them.

7. Step 1: Thesis Statement/Introduction • We looked at the three-step introduction earlier this week. Does this essay have at least a three sentence introduction? • Does the introduction mention the song title and artist? • “Song Title” in quotation marks • Look at the thesis statement: does it… • Clearly establish what the American dream is to the author? • State how the selected song connects to that definition?

8. Step 2: Body Paragraphs – Structure • Remember, the assignment requires multiple body paragraphs – that is, more than one. So, be sure you have at least two body paragraphs! • Also, recalling the outline on the ADSE website – body paragraphs should be at least 8 sentences long. Be sure your paragraphs are developed. I’d rather see fewer well developed body paragraphs than many puny ones!

9. Step 2: Body Paragraphs – Topic Sentences • Look at each paragraph’s topic sentence • Does the topic sentence establish what each body paragraph is about? • Read each body paragraph. Is there ANYTHING in the body paragraph that is not germane given the topic sentence? Comment on your post-it note.

10. Step 2: Body Paragraphs –Concrete Detail: Commentary Ratio • Eyeball each body paragraph • Are there two sentences with EMBEDDED text evidence per paragraph? • Is each paragraph constituted of 1/3 text evidence (color) and 2/3 commentary (white)? If you see more than 1/3 yellow in the paragraph, comment about it to your partner – this indicates they are summarizing too much and not analyzing enough.

11. Monday, September 23, 2013 • It’s the last week of the 1st Six Weeks! Let’s finish strong!  • Today’s agenda: • American Dream Song Essay is due tomorrow! Our tasks: • Review rubric • Complete peer edit • Springboard 1.14 (sample survey) • Review data that we have compiled so far • Select your groups of 2-3 for the project (must have these by the time you enter tomorrow) • If time: select statements for group surveys

12. Deadline Information – SUPER IMPORTANT! • Your final copy with a copy of your lyrics is due TOMORROW! • BE ON TIME. If you’re one day late, you lose 10, 2 days late, 20, etc.

13. Deadline Information – SUPER IMPORTANT! • Your final copy with a copy of your lyrics is due TOMORROW! You have two options for submission: • Turn in a printed copy AT THE START of class • Turn in an electronic copy before 8:30 a.m. tomorrow to BOTH of these email addresses • lisa.roberts@gcisd.net • lisa.roberts.ghs@gmail.com

14. Rubric Review Go to ADSE page on my website

15. Required Components - Format Remember, final copy must be… • Font: Times New Roman, 12 pt • Spacing: Double (please select “Remove spacing after paragraph”) • Page LayoutMarginsNormal(1” margins)

16. Required Components - Lyrics • Copy of lyrics should be included • For Pete’s sake, YES, black out any bad words that are in the song. (Why do you even have to ask?)

17. Switch papers with a classmate. Tip: this should be someone who has not read it before!

18. Overall QualityWrite feedback on the following on post-it notes provided at your table. Remember to offer CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.  • Read the essay, beginning to end, noting for the following: • Do the introduction and thesisset a clear direction for the essay? • Does each body paragraph’s topic sentenceclearly establish what the paragraph is about, and does all information in that paragraph relevant to that t.s.? • Does each body paragraph have at least two concrete details (quoted song lyrics) that have been embedded within the sentece? • Does the writer’s commentarydeepen meaning, or does it get redundant?

19. Required Length • Are there at least TWO body paragraphs? • Does each body paragraph have 8 sentences?

20. ConventionsMark issues on your partner’s essay. It is not your job as the editor to fix the mistakes; it is the writer’s job!