Verbal Communication

Verbal Communication We may often think that, having good communication skills is all about the ability to speak well….. Or all about “SPEAKING.”

We are right…… But only 50% right…. Because…. Verbal Communication has another very important part…… “LISTENING”. “Speaking” + “Listening” = “Verbal Communication.”

Kinds of LISTENING… There are different kinds of listening… • Appreciative Listening • Empathetic Listening • Comprehensive Listening • Critical Listening • Sympathetic Listening (supportive)

Broadly, LISTENING may be classified into… Sympathetic Listening and Empathetic Listening

Sympathetic LISTENING… • In sympathetic listening we care about the other person and show this concern in the way we pay close attention and express our sorrow for their ills and happiness at their joys. • In other words there is “sharing” of feelings.

Example for sympathetic listening… On your way back from office, you slip and fall and hurt your back. When you reach home your family members “Feel” for you. They “share” your hurt feelings and maybe even shed a tear in sympathy.

Empathetic LISTENING… • When we listen empathetically, we go beyond sympathy to seek a true understanding of how others are feeling. • This requires excellent discrimination (unfairness) and close attention to emotional signals. • When we are being truly empathetic, we actually acknowledge what they are feeling. • In order to get others to reveal these deep parts of themselves to us, we also need to demonstrate our empathy in our demeanor towards them, listening sensitively and in a way that encourages self-disclosure, deleration.

Example for empathetic listening … On your way back from office, you slip and fall and hurt your back. You visit your doctor. Your doctor does not share your feelings. He does not reject or trifle your feelings, but on the contrary, he acknowledges your feelings totally and treats you for your injuries. Here, there is no “sharing” of feelings, but acknowledgement of “feelings.”

For effective Verbal Communication Skills… We need to develop our skills at Empathetic Listening. How do we do it ??? * First of all, we would need to acquaint ourselves with the parameters/restriction that constitute/make up Empathetic Listening while evaluating someone’s speakingskills.

Parameters of evaluation… • Speed….number of words per minute • Clarity…if audible & free of distortion/misrepresentation • Pronunciation…utterance/style of speech • Familiarity...acquaintance/familirity with words used • Punctuation…use of various kinds of pauses • Fluency…Able to express easily • Expression…transforming of ideas into words • Content… meaning or substance/meaning of speech

Speaking ‘To speak’ and ‘to speak well’ are two things. A fool man talks, but a wise man speaks. ~Ben Johnson

Speaking consists of two parts… 1) “What to Speak” and 2) “How to Speak”

1) What to Speak Content development: * The first step is Brainstorming * The next step is to choose a Presentation Format/ Storage System * The Final step is the Presentation itself

Now let’s move to the next part of Speaking…. “How to Speak” “Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carveکندن every word before you let it fall.” Oliver Wendell Holmes

2) “How to Speak” Guidelines… • Speed • Clarity • Punctuation • Pronunciation • Familiarity • Fluency • Expression

Speed Speed….number of words per minute. • While Most Indians speak at 170 to 180 wpm, their foreign counterparts speak at 110 to 120 wpm. • Slowing down on rate of speech is the first step towards better speech.

Clarity Clarity…if audible & free of distortion. • Speech should be loud enough to carry to all the listeners. Judge the acoustics of the room. • Voice Clarity can be mastered with regular practice.

Pronunciation Pronunciation…utterance of speech. • Always remember that English is not "phonetic". That means that we do not always say a word the same way that we spell it. • Use a Good Dictionary or work with your Trainer to Correct pronunciation.

Punctuation Punctuation…use of various kinds of pauses. • Pause at Full Stops • Pause at Commas • Pause at Semi colons • Pause at Question marks

Familiarity Familiarity...acquaintance with words used. • Learning new words… • Using known words in new contexts… • Understanding contexts and situations before reading again..

Fluency Fluency…Able to express easily. • Developing Fluency is a matter of having all the other parameters in place. • Fluency indicates that a comfortable working ability with the language has been established.

Expression Expression…transforming of ideas into words, and also the outward manifestation of a mood or a disposition by way of words. • Expression of different feelings with words,word stress, tone, pitch and inflection.

Nonverbal Communication Is it possible to communicate without words? Studies show that over half of your message is carried through nonverbal elements: • Your appearance • Your body language • The tone and • the pace of your voice

First Impression We know the importance of “first impression” But first impressions happen everytime we initiate the communication Before someone processes our verbal messages, • She has taken in our appearance • Registered our enthusiasm and sincerety • Noted our tone of voice and processed all into nonverbal message

Projecting a Powerful Image How would you like to sound? How would you like to look? How did you look &sound ? The name of the difference is the “image gap” Projecting an image that is consistent with the person you want to be significantly improves your ability to develop trust &rapport

First Impression First impression includes: • Dress & grooming • Voice • Handshake • Eye contact • Body posture

First Impression • Positive first impression make communicationsmuch easier and more comfortable. • Negative first impressions can cut off a relationship before it gets started. • Many people give up rather than trying to reverse the other people’s negative impression.

First Impression • Accent • Monotone and weak voice • Poor vocabulary • Cold, limp handshake • Lower quality, with inappropriate coloures, messy dressing style, dirty shoes • Seldom eyecontact • Poor posture, bad hygiene creates a barrier.

Projecting a Powerfull Image • The response you receive from the world around you is a measure of your success in interpersonal relations. • From the beginning to the end of every transaction with another person, you are on the stage. • Every word, gesture, expression an dimpression is being seen and evaluated • Therefore be careful and respectful generally..

Language of Gestures • Body language and nonverbal communication are transmitted through the eyes, face, hands, arms, legs and posture (sitting and walking) • Each individual, isolated gesture is like a word in sentence; it is difficult and isolated dangerous to interpret in and of itself. • Therefore consider the gesture in the light of everyhing else that is going on around you.

Eyes • Windows of the soul, excellent indicators of feelings. • Shifty eyes, beady eyes and look of steel demonstrate awareness. • Honest person has a tendency to look you straight in the eye when speaking. • At least listeners accept it like that.

Eyes • People avoid eye contact with other person when an uncomfortable question asked. • Try to reduce tension and build trust rather than increase tension. • The raising of one eyebrow shows disbelief and two shows surprise. • People are classified as right lookers and leftlookers. Right lookers are more influenced by logic and precision, left lookers are found to be more emotional, subjective and suggestible.

The Face • The face is one of the most reliable indicators of a person’s attitudes, emotions & feelings • By analysing facial expressions, interpersonal attitudes can be discerned and feedback obtained. • Some people try to hide their true emotions. The term Poker Face describes them.

The Face Common facial gestures are: • Frowns: unhappiness, anger • Smiles: happiness • Sneers: dislike, disgust • Clenched jaws: tension, anger • Pouting lips: sadness.

The Hands • Tightly clenched hands usually indicate that the person is experiencing undue pressure. • It may be difficult to relate to this person because of his tension and disagreement. • Superiority and authority are usually indicated when you are standing and joining your hands behind your back.

The Hands • Rubing gently behind or beside the ear with the index finger or rubbing the eye usually means the other person is uncertain about what you are saying. • Leaning back with both hands supporting the head usually indicates a feeling of confidence or superiority.

Hands • Cupping one or both hands over the mouth, especially when talking, may well indicate that the person is trying to hide something • Putting your hand to your cheek or stroking your chin generally portrays thinking, interest or consideration. • Fingers bent across the chin or below the mouth most often shows critical evaluation.

The Arms and Legs • Crossed arms tend to signal defensiveness. They seemingly act as a protective guard against an anticipated attack or a fixed position which the other person would rather not move. • Conversely, arms open and extended toward you generally indicate openness and acceptance.

The Arms and Legs • Crossed legs tend to seem disagreement. • People who tightly cross their legs seem to be saying that they disagree with what you are saying or doing. If the people have tightly crossed legs and tightly crossed arms, their inner attitude is usually one of extreme negativity toward what is going on around them. It may be difficult to get agreement.

Recap • Verbal Communication • What to speak? • How to speak? • Why to listen? • First impression includes: • Dress & grooming • Voice • Handshake • Eye contact • Body posture

References • www.slideshare.net/.../ppt-non-verbal-communication - United States • xa.yimg.com/kq/groups/4749922/.../Verbal%20Communication.ppt • www.cmpe.boun.edu.tr/.../Nonverbal%20Communication%20BU.ppt

Verbal Communication