Managing inter-personal conflicts

1. Managing inter-personal conflicts HR as a facilitator’s roleLecture 10 Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

2. Appreciative Inquiry (*)is an approach which helps give a frame to the conflict Not to Solve the Conflict « We can not solve problems using the same thinking method used to create the problems » (Albert Einstein) (*) Néocoaching David Cooperrider & Suresh Srivastva www.appreciative-inquiry.org/AI-Life.htm Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

3. First Step : re-Frame Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

4. 1.1 What is your experience of conflict ? • Think about a conflict that happened at work which had a positive (or needed) impact? • Who was involved in the conflict (manager, employee, colleague, etc..)? • Describe this in maximum detail possible • Think of a conflict which is negative, what are the positive results that you can retain? Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

5. 1.2 What can it bring to a conflict ? • re-Frame • A good way to create optimized professional relationships • What are the components of optimized professional relationships? Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

6. 1.3 – Fundamental Paradigms • Very often, conflict is the result of a lack of communication, • You « shall » consider conflict as an opportunity for personnel and professional development, • Conflict results in improved relationships and productivity at work, • To solve a conflict, you have to communicate VERY efficiently. Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

7. 1.4 – Conflict ? Or something else ? • We sometimes confuse conflict with : • Disagreement • Stress • Lack of decision • or other common experiences… Because it can create a conflict ! Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

8. 1.5 – How do we know if it is a conflict? • In a conflict, people : • are interdependent, • blame each other, • are involved emotionally, • are affected in their professional relationships, thus productivity is also affected ! Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

9. 1.6 – Conflict effects on a team • Decrease of team cohesion and responsibilities with regards to the on-going mission, but if conflict is controlled or solved : increase of team-building and involvement • A non-resolved conflict will lead to employees quitting the company or finding alternative solutions by themselves (absenteeism) • 42% of a Director’s or a Manager’s time at work is spent trying to find ways of conflict-solving. Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

10. 1.7 – Different types of reactions when facing a conflict • Reaction A : • Avoid contact, • Write notes instead of talking, • Retain information, • Not to give support, • Adopt a passive attitude. Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

11. 1.7 – Different types of reactions when facing a conflict • Reaction B : • Try to grab things from others, • Shout, • Wish to lead or be the first, • Be arrogant, • Character deframing of others, • Adopt an aggressive attitude. • BEWARE : Do not always follow your instinct. The first reaction can be misleading. A response to the fight is a physiologic response to danger. Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

12. 1.7 – Different types of reactions when facing a conflict • Reaction C : • Have a nervous gesture, • Adopt a close attitude, • Have a tense face, • Shout, • Not to volunteer. Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

13. 1.8 – Positive effects of conflict • Put your energy and motivation to the service of the actions to implement, • People and system must be innovative (thanks to the diverse points of views) • Develop better understanding of perspectives, everyone’s vision, • Everyone will be better aware of his/her own identity, • The methods for managing conflicts also allow controlling internal and individual conflicts for one person. Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

14. Second step: INTERVENTION Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

15. Second approach : Appreciate Inquiry : Appreciate and value the best aspects of the new situation, Look for the potential new situation, Discuss the preferred situation, Create the future situation HYPOTHESISAn organisation is a mystery to reveal 2.1 : « A I » as a new mode of intervention! First approach :Solving the Problem • Identification of the problem(s), and need(s), • Analysis of the cause • Analysis of possible solutions • Planning the action HYPOTHESIS An organisation is a problem to solve Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

16. 2.2 – Using A.I. in conflicts re-frame AIis a collaborative search to identify and understand the organization’s strengths, its potentials, the greatest opportunities, and people’s hopes for the future. Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

17. Define • Identify the objective, • Listen actively to understand, • Find uncommon ground between emotions and feelings. Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

18. Discover Efficient communication • Gather facts : • Help each part re-frame the conflictual situation in order to best know the new opportunities of solutions, • Listen to each person in order to obtain all the different versions of the facts. • Find out if it is necessary to get support from the other employees. Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

19. Discover Examine positive factors in the relationship • What works well in the human relationships ? • What are the benefits of such relationships ? • Tell me about time when these relationships were a success ? • What did you appreciate most ? • What are the collective and individual strengths of your team ? Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

20. Dream What could it be? Think about the ideal communication! • What shall we feel ? • To what shall it look like ? • To what does it look like ? • What do you really want, demand ? Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

21. Dream Examine possible positive factors of a communication • Give rapid ideas, without classification, without clarification.. • Quantity prevails over quality • Be as creative as possible • ...Like a Brainstorm ! Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

22. Design What could be the ideal efficient communication? Three types of approaches • « Win / Loose », • « Loose / Loose », • « Win / Win », Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

23. Design Give preference to a « Win/Win » approach • Efficient and long-term relationship demand mutual advantages, • Conciliation and collaboration are not weaknesses but intelligence, • «win/loose» and « loose/loose» approaches give unproductive results at long-term. Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

24. Design Focus on the ideal ! • Conflict tends to divert our attention from the real interests by creating other centers of interest, • Our instinct can sometimes blind our interest in solving the conflict and make it more difficult, • Move away from the conflict (and from all persons linked to it) to gain more perspective, • Think about what you would want if you had a wish to make, a real interest Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

25. Design Be CONCILIATING Thanks to facts : • Make apologies, if necessary, • Assume your own responsibilities, • Make concessions if necessary, • Express your positive feelings • Initiate a Win/Win relationship Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

26. Design Emphasize the POSITIVE, Decrease the NEGATIVE • It is important to focus on the conciliation and banish aggressiveness! How ? • Learn to behave conciliatingly through demonstration and gesture : that you appreciate the other and communicate with the other as often as possible. Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

27. Design Pierce the system !!!! • Whenever concialiting behaviour happens, this means that both parties decide to adopt the positive attitude of : • « you and I against the problem » • And not one against the other ! • Look equally for benefits for you and the others ! • Synergy : you will obtain better results by cooperating rather than adopting the attitude of a competitor ! Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

28. Design Associated together !!! • Collaboration, • Non-imposed solutions (no power games!) • No easy victory, • The need makes buy ! • Feel like you are doing a good business for a real change! (i.e. written agreement where action plan is detailed and balanced) Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

29. Delivery What shall we do to sustain change? Sustain change and lead it !! • Consolidate new human relationship, • Develop and replace ressources regularly, • Sustain progress, • Be pro-active! Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

30. 3- Prevent future communication hard challenges All team members must avoid these three attitudes : • Personal attacks : Do not use insulting words …better use a mediator ! • Individualism : Do not take too much time in individual relationship ! • Group creation : help everyone express his/herself but avoid leaders of opinions ! Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

31. 3- Prevent futurs communication hard challenges A last comment on a very common method: Divide and better rule ! • As we have seen in a conflict, there are lots of positive issues that we can leverage. • Conflict still remains a big deployment of energy : as a team is spending its energy in conflicts, it has less energy to give to its core mission! Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

32. Conclusion : how do you deal with this in your company? • Create different spaces for dialogue • Examples of new roles to facilitate running down conflicts • Organize good relationships with labour unions and personnel representatives • Organize dialogue between different divisions/departments/services Workshop on Rightsizing, Muscat

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