Remedial exchanges

1. Remedial exchanges

2. Unsere Natur als „homo sociologicus“ Unsere Sozialfähigkeit ist angeboren und unterscheidet uns von anderen Arten. M. Tomasello et al. Das zweijährige Menschenkind besitzt die Fähigkeit, dem Gegenüber behilflich sein zu wollen, Kontakte zu initiieren und beizubehalten sowie das Ziel den Anderen zu verstehen und ihm dabei zu helfen, dieses zu erreichen.

3. In einer Kultur lernen wir die kulturspezifischen sozialen Normen Sozialisation: symbolisches Lernen und Verinnerlichung der sozialen Normen in der Interaktion. dyad  triad  understanding one’s relation to the world

4. Soziale Normen: Regeln • Formale Normen vs. informale Normen • Vorschrift vs. Standard • Prinzipien vs. Konventionen • ……

5. Soziale Normen Sanktionen unterstützen soziale Normen. Die soziale Außenleitung beschränkt die Verhaltensweise des Individuums. 1. Verpflichtung: etwas den anderen gegenüber (nicht) zu tun 2. Erwartung: dass die anderen ihm gegenüber etwas (nicht) tun

6. Die omnipräsente Verantwortung • Derjenige, der seine Verantwortung zur Erfüllung der Verpflichtung ignoriert oder vernachlässigt, ist dafür verantwortlich, eine Wiedergutmachung zu versuchen und Respekt für den Vorgang der Korrektion oder Heilung zu zeigen.

7. Können Wörter weh tun? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

8. Die Macht der Wörter “Words, like guns, can be loaded. And, like guns, they can threaten, hurt, and wound. They can even kill—relationships and reputations. There are always risks, when we use words.” David Crystal

9. Die Macht der Entschuldigung “All I want is an apology!” “People who have been hurt or humiliated often hope for an apology. They may hope that an apology from the person who caused them harm will restore dignity, trust, and a sense of justice. Whether you are requesting an apology or considering giving one, it is important to realize that a thoughtful apology can mend a relationship while a thoughtless one may cause further conflict.” UCOA Handbook, 2000.

10. Warum verlangen wir eine Entschuldigung? • Verletzung anerkennen • bestätigen, dass der andere seine Verantwortung akzeptiert. • versichern, dass die Verletzung nicht wiederholt wird. • Versöhnung ermöglichen • den Ruf wiederherstellen

11. Remedy and Relief • Offender offers remedy • Offended offers relief Re-establish equilibrium in relationship

12. Eine Episode In 1995 on a radio talk show, Senator D’Amato used an exaggerated, stereotyped Japanese accent to mock Judge Ito, who was presiding at the O.J. Simpson trial.

13. Die erste Entschuldigung “If I offended anyone, I’m sorry. I was making fun of the pomposity of the judge and the manner in which he’s dragging the trial out.”  No relief, but increased tension

14. Die zweite, überarbeitete Entschuldigung “I’m here on the Senate floor to give a statement as it related to that episode. It was a sorry episode. As an Italian-American, I have a special responsibility to be sensitive to ethnic stereotypes. I fully recognize the insensitivity of my remarks about Judge Ito. My remarks were totally wrong and inappropriate. I know better. What I did was a poor attempt at humor. I am deeply sorry for the pain that I have caused Judge Ito and others. I offer my sincere apologies.”  possible relief

15. Wie ist die 2. Entschuldigung anders als die erste? • Indefinites Pronomen vs. Namen • Konditionale Aussage vs. Tatsache • ……

16. Komponente einer effektiven Entschuldigung 1. “A specific definition of the perceived offense. The person offended and the perceived offender need a clear shared understanding of the behaviors (or omissions) that felt hurtful, rude, or wrong.” • die Natur des Verhaltens definieren

17. Eine effektive Entschuldigung 2. Acknowledging that the perceived offense caused harm. The person offended needs recognition that their pain or embarrassment was legitimate, even if others might have felt differently. • die Verletzung anerkennen

18. Eine effektive Entschuldigung 3. Taking responsibility. Offenders should acknowledge that, whether or not the offense was intentional, they were accountable for causing harm. • Verantwortung annehmen

19. Eine effektive Entschuldigung 4. Recognition of wrongdoing. Offenders need to agree that they were insensitive and made a mistake. • Verhalten als Fehler erkennen

20. Eine effektive Entschuldigung 5. A statement of regret. While “I’m sorry” is generally not enough for a complete apology, it is a necessary part of any apology and is imperative for re-building trust. • Bedauern erklären

21. Eine effektive Entschuldigung 6. A promise not to repeat the offense. The offender needs to offer a clear plan for self-restraint, improved behavior, and how to work with the offended person to address possible future misunderstandings. • Versprechen machen

22. Eine effektive Entschuldigung 7. An explanation of why the offender acted this way. Be careful! An explanation can be risky as it can sound defensive or seem to be an excuse for bad behavior. Sometimes it is useful for healing a broken relationship and may set the groundwork for re-establishing trust and respect. An explanation is only effective if combined with all the above elements. • Die Motivation des Fehlverhaltens angeben

23. Die erste Entschuldigung “If I offended anyone, I’m sorry. I was making fun of the pomposity of the judge and the manner in which he’s dragging the trial out.”

24. Die zweite, überarbeitete Entschuldigung “I’m here on the Senate floor to give a statement as it related to that episode. It was a sorry episode. As an Italian-American, I have a special responsibility to be sensitive to ethnic stereotypes. I fully recognize the insensitivity of my remarks about Judge Ito. My remarks were totally wrong and inappropriate. I know better. What I did was a poor attempt at humor. I am deeply sorry for the pain that I have caused Judge Ito and others. I offer my sincere apologies.”

25. Hillary im Spotlight • Speaking to The Argus Leader of Sioux Falls, S.D., she added: "My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California,"

26. Hillary entschuldigt sich“primed move” "I regret that if my referencing that moment of trauma for our entire nation and in particular the Kennedy family was in any way offensive."

27. Hillary schreibt an The News “I pointed out, as I have before, that both my husband’s primary campaign, and Senator Robert Kennedy’s, had continued into June. Almost immediately, some took my comments entirely out of context and interpreted them to mean something completely different — and completely unthinkable.”

28. Mr. Axelrod antwortet: “As far as we’re concerned, this issue is done. It was an unfortunate statement, as we said, as she’s acknowledged. She has apologized. The apology, you know, is accepted. Let’s move forward.”

29. “worst possible readings” • Obamas Sicherheit • “Stuff happens” (Dowd) Zwei Wirkungen: • Maximierung der Verletzung • Ruinierung des Rufs des Verletzenden — “the witch“

30. Die Interpretation der Motivation/Absicht und Kontext Die Interpretation einer Aussage und der Motivation/Absicht dahinten erfordert die Berücksichtigung des Kontexts.

31. Das Verständnis des Kontextes ist nie leicht.

32. Papst Benedict XVI zitiert den byzantinischen Kaiser Manuel II Paleologus über Glauben and Gewalt "Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

33. Weitere Zitate "God," he says, "is not pleased by blood - and not acting reasonably is contrary to God's nature. Faith is born of the soul, not the body. Whoever would lead someone to faith needs the ability to speak well and to reason properly, without violence and threats."

34. Zusammenfassung des Papstes „The intention here is not one of retrenchment or negative criticism, but of broadening our concept of reason and its application... Only thus do we become capable of that genuine dialogue of cultures and religions so urgently needed today….“

35. Reaktion: das Gefühl der Beleidigung

37. Der Papst entschuldigt sich • At this time, I wish also to add that I am deeply sorry for the reactions in some countries to a few passages of my address at the University of Regensburg, which were considered offensive to the sensibility of Muslims. –Pope Benedict XVI

38. BBC News:Pope statement fails to end anger “Pope Benedict XVI's statement of regret for comments he made last week on Islam has been welcomed by some Muslim groups but has failed to end the anger.”  Partial relief

39. Eine Studie Insincere apologies work as well as heartfelt ones for the wronged, but not for observer. Risen, J. and Gilovich, T. (2007). "Target and observer differences in the acceptance of questionable apologies," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 418-433.