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Opening Day Quiz English 8. Griffith. 1. The most important thing you can do in Mr. G’s class is:. (A) Address Mr. G as “Your Excellency” or “Grandmaster Semi-Colon.” (B) Respond to Mr. G’s comments by saying, “Quite Right, Old Bean!” (C) Offer “much respect, mon .”
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Opening Day Quiz English 8 Griffith
1. The most important thing you can do in Mr. G’s class is: (A) Address Mr. G as “Your Excellency” or “Grandmaster Semi-Colon.” (B) Respond to Mr. G’s comments by saying, “Quite Right, Old Bean!” (C)Offer “much respect, mon.” (D) Think for yourself. (E) Question the “easy answer.” (F) C, D, and E.
ANSWER: (F) C, D, and E.
2. What are you required bring with you to class each day? (A)a sixth grader… in a duffel bag. • a spiral notebook and your text. • curiosity and a willingness to learn • okay, answer “A” is a little mean… a sixth grader in a duffel bag… …with airholes punched out. (E) marshmallow peeps, a microwave, and misplaced aggression. (F) B and C.
ANSWER: • (F) B and C.
3. Where can you find me during office hours? (A) in Askew 219 (B) ripping donuts on Mr. Adams’ lawn in my hot new Smart Car (C) running a corrupt hamster fighting ring called “Bad Newz Rodents” (D) dominating pre-1st kids in dodgeball (you would not believe how slow they are) (E) off wondering why “Get Well Soon” cards don’t say “Get Well Now” (F) a and b
ANSWER: (A) in Askew 219
4. Does Mr. G accept late or incomplete homework? (A)Yes.If you give me five dollars…straight cash, homey. (B)No. Your emotional destruction is my ultimate goal and I will not quite until you cry like Mr. Perry did when I stole his “Dora the Explorer” putter and yelled “Who’s the grade chair now, golf boy!?!” (C)Only if you approach me with stealthy body language, creepily petting a bald cat and say with a thick Russian accent: “MistahrGreeeeefith, isn’t there a way we can make…(dramatic pause while rubbing hands together) everyone happy here.” (D) Only if you contact me in advance with a legitimate excuse. If not, you earn no credit for homework until it is complete. (E) If your dog eats your homework, I say eat your dog. Now that is rigor…
Answer: • (D) Only if you contact me in advance with a legitimate excuse. If not, you earn no credit for homework until it is complete.
5. What is Mr. Griffith’s grading rubric or policy? • Essays, Major Projects, and Tests 40%, Discussion Skills 25%, Homework 20%, Quizzes 15% (B) Essays, Major Projects, and Tests .001%, Knowledge of Rare Malaysian Mating Rituals 99.99% (C) Let me ask you this: Does your family have UGA season tickets? I’m a big fan...just sayin’. (D) I base your grade on your willingness to accept the following: in this class your voice will be heard—in the form of my voice. (E) I base your grade on the number of times you compliment my manicures: I stop at 100 though…I am not a pushover. (F) Whatever Ms. Thomas gave you last year minus 10. Sorry, life is hell and there is no better time to learn it than when you have your whole life in front of you.
ANSWER: • (A)Essays, Major Projects, and Tests 40%, Discussion Skills 25%, Homework 20%, Quizzes 15%
6. If I ask Mr. G if he gives extra credit, he will respond with the following: (A) Oh, I’m sorry, did you get lost on your way back to Love Hall? (B) The sixth grade locker common. Yes, I believe that was it. That was where I last saw your big boy pants. (C) Get out of my office. Seriously, get out of my office. This is not a joke. Get out now. (D) Did I give Harry Potter get extra credit for saving Hogwarts and mankind as we know it? Didn’t think so. He got the grade he earned: 78%. Actually it was a 34.99999%, but his dad was one the Board of Trustees so I rounded up. (E) a, b, c, and d.
Answer: • (E) a, b, c, and d.
7. Will we be assessed on our reading of To Kill a Mockingbird? • (A) I don’t know, but I think a bird deserves to be killed if it is mocking you. • (B) Yes, but you should just watch the movie instead of reading. It is just like the book, except it doesn’t show that funny part at the end when Scout dies. • (C) A little mockingbird told me you might have a small quiz…. ….right before I killed it.