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CHARACTERISTICS OF A HEALTHY LIFE. Les Carter, Ph.D. Southlake Psychiatric and Counseling Center Southlake, Texas drlescarter.com. 1. Control is used in sparing amounts. Controlling behavior is not one dimensional.
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CHARACTERISTICS OF AHEALTHY LIFE Les Carter, Ph.D. Southlake Psychiatric and Counseling Center Southlake, Texas drlescarter.com
1. Control is used in sparing amounts. Controlling behavior is not one dimensional. The desire for control is at the base of every negative ingredient in personal relations. Imperative thinking is at the base of controlling behaviors and communications. The opposite of control is freedom, the privilege of choices. A mind of freedom is portrayed in covert messages.
2. Choices are made in emotional management. When we experience undesired emotions, our natural tendency is to become reactive. We often press for external solutions instead of looking inwardly. You cannot afford to allow your moods to become dependent upon others. Each person has a core competence that can be utilized in each difficult situation.
3. Humility is paramount. We can mistakenly think of humility as a weak trait. Humility is the direct opposite of a prideful spirit. Humility is the ultimate strength; all other healthy qualities arise from it. Humility has a direct effect on traits like confidence, listening, and assertiveness.
4. Sexual purity is held in highest regard. We are in the midst of a promiscuous age…compare to 1960. Purity acknowledges that I am not the center of the universe. Satisfying my urges is not first priority. Purity upholds the dignity of another human. Impurity creates a bonding that has no foundation of a lasting commitment. Impurity always results in pain. (“When the thrill is gone, so are you.”)
5. Listening skills are keenly refined. What is the most common complaint among teens? “You just don’t understand!” Empathy is the capacity to comprehend another’s emotions and perceptions from that person’s point of view. It is not enough just to say: “I understand.” Be descriptive. The non-verbal elements of empathy are acceptance, trust, equality.
6. Defenses are set aside in favor of authenticity. Self protection can be normal, but if it is used too much it inhibits relational growth. Excessive defense implies fear, a feeling of being threatened. Being genuine is a better alternative to defensiveness. Openness implies that you trust yourself.
7. Spirituality is a matter of deep contemplation. Spirituality prompts us to find a purpose beyond mundane tasks and performances. Success is not measured by achievements, salary, or titles, but by the quality of the inner person. Spirituality requires you to contemplate the meaning of your beliefs. Spiritually resolved people understand that life involves sacrifice, servitude, forgiveness, and that love is the ultimate good.