810 likes | 1.01k Views
Chairman Mao’s. Forbidden Wonton Teahouse. Music by Lai Tran. Oh Great Father Mao, Most Excellent Benevolent leader, Thank you for honoring us today with your presence. These students have experienced your most compassionate re-education program known as “IB the Glorious.”
E N D
Chairman Mao’s Forbidden Wonton Teahouse
Oh Great Father Mao, • Most Excellent Benevolent leader, • Thank you for honoring us today with your presence. • These students have experienced your most compassionate re-education program known as “IB the Glorious.” • They will now laud you with their praises. Mao Zedong (Moutzh-tuung)
Nationalist-Communist Civil War(Chinese Civil War) 國共內戰1927-1950 • Oh Great One, you are so brave. • You led the Communist Party of China (the CPC) in our great fight for freedom. This will be known in the history books as the Chinese Civil War: April 1927 to May 1950. • You defeated the terrible dragon Chiang Kai-Shek and his Nationalists the Kuomintang (KMT). BOO! EVIL DOER!
Communists Won(Chinese Civil War) • For a ¼ of a century we fought ourselves. When you won, Oh Great Leader Mao, you ended 25 years of war. • Oct 1, 1949 you declared that we were now the People’s Republic of China (PRC),we celebrated in the streets of Tiananmen Square, Beijing.
Mao Says: • “Communists now rule the most populated country in the world!” • “Yes, we can!”
Chiang Kai-Shek Ran Away (Sum UldGi) • The Nationalist of Chiang Kai-Shekfled to the island of Taiwan. • Taiwan just was freed of 50 yrs of Japanese rule and now the Chinese Nationalists take over. 1000s of Taiwanese vanish, are killed, or imprisoned. Feb. 1947, there is severe repression during the 228 Incident. Ze Dong Little Dong
Chiang Kai-Shek Ran Away (Sum UldGi) • Mao’s win surprised Truman and the Americans who supported Chiang. The USA will help Chiang Kai-Shek with aid, until the 1960s. • This also surprised your friend Stalin who did not expect you to win! Little Dong
Imperialist Americans ?&*$#!@ • Oh Best Beloved, how you frightened the Americans. They wondered if China would become a Soviet state? • You kept them up at night and caused them to lose much sleep. You were their “boogey-man.” • The powerful “Pro-Chiang” China Lobby in Congress wanted the USA to help the Nationalists in Taiwan.
Glorious Mao Zedong 毛泽东 1949-1976 • Oh great glorious leader from on high… • You wrote the Little Red Book of Maoism (which expressed your form of communism). • You became a Cult of Personality (like your Soviet friend, the blessed Stalin)
Mao Says: • “The New China must ally itself with the USSR. • I intend to copy all of Stalin’s rule. • (even the famine and death of twenty million)…
The Big Red Dog Visits China(Don’t they eat dog in China?) • You were a dedicated communist, Oh Great Red One. • Your friend Stalin was quick to exploit (I mean appreciate) your loyalty and idealism. • When he visited Beijing in 1949, he apologized for “underestimating his Chinese comrades.”
Mao Says: • “We must form an international united front” • All communist countries must “Lean to one side” Lean to One Side
Sino-Soviet Treaty 1950-1956of Friendship, Alliance, Mutual Assistance &International DRY CLEANING Chains 中苏友好同盟互助条约 • Oh, Exceptional World Explorer, you had never left China until Dec. 1949, when you visited the USSR for 2 months. • You and Stalin signed a treaty of mutual protection-- that if either country was attacked, the other promised to engage. • You will not do what Josef Tito of Yugoslavia did- you will stay loyal to Stalin.
Mao Returns with Ideas. . . • Oh Great Flatulent One, you transformed China into a major power through your controversial (I mean, most-excellent) policies. • Some called you a murderer (I mean a Munificent Leader). • Your critics blamed you for severely damaging Chinese culture, economy, society, and foreign relations. Surely it cannot be your fault that during your reign, we suffered enormous loss of lives—tens of millions died in famine during a time of peace.
Mao Says: • This one needs more re-education! • All schools, army units, and public organization must install loudspeakers and radio receivers for the Central People’s Broadcasting Station, as part of “Politics on Demand.”
Politics on Demand • By 1960, 70 million speakers reached the rural population of 400 million. • And the CPC (or Central People’s Committee) controlled all the media and used it to promote your most Superlative Heroics through the “Central Press and Broadcasting Bureau.”
More on Mao… • You cleaned up the streets, Oh Most Magnanimous One. • You removed the beggars, the criminals and all corruption—by killing anyone who was caught. • You also controlled inflation by killing anyone who reported inflation exists. After that, we had no more problems with the economy.
Mao Purges… • With your cunning and keen intellect you took out businessmen, westerners and intellectuals in a mass purge. • You suppressed all counter-revolutionaries and free thinkers with mass executions before large crowds. • You also banished all religions and mystic ceremonies.
Mao Says: • Chinese People…devote yourselves to build & strengthen your country.
Changes in Society • Oh Most Splendid Deity, you took pesky ankle-biters known as “children” away from their parents and placed them in state-run dorms where you could control their education. • Your major social changes did raise the literacy rates and programs like yours, created great Olympic athletes-like Yao Ming
Savior of the People • Oh Glorious Divinity, your Socialist Education Movement (SEM) taught young people to love you. Students like us became your greatest supporters. • We were taught to hate the Nationalists like Chiang Kai-Shek, and to vilify the USA and Japan. • We learned your quotations from the Little Red Book and we praised you in art and song.
Mao Says: • Women hold up half the heavens! • Break the chains, unleash the fury of women as a mighty force for revolution!
Women In China Sum Yung Chixs • Glorious Father Mao, you made women equal to men and improved the lives of women. • You ended prostitution, foot-binding, and child marriages. You ended our opium addiction and you gave us the right to get divorced. You gave us birth control, contraceptives, and planned parenthood. Very planned!
Me Love You Long Time. Soy MILF
One Child Policy(No Yung Dongs) • You created the One Child Policy. You told us a boy was the most valuable child to have and allowed us to commit infanticide for any additional children.
One Child Policy(No Yung Dongs) • Teacher’s Note: today: you are allowed a 2nd if 1st child is female or disabled) birth spacing should be 3-4 yrs apart, born abroad, doesn’t count if not citizen, large $$ fines, “social maintenance fee,” sterilized, or abortion recommended, girls in state-sponsored orphanages
Mao Says: • Where shall we invade today?
Invasion of Tibet 1949 • In 1949 your People’s Liberation Army invaded the peaceful and spiritual people of Tibet. These people were ill-equipped and easily defeated. • Your men raped the Buddhist nuns and priests, killed thousands, and used public humiliation and oppression in an attempt to reform Tibet’s social and religious system. • The spiritual leader of Tibet, the Dalai Lama was forced to flee into exile.
Free Tibet 14th Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso Reincarnated Buddha As a child, had to recognize glasses, personal items reincarnated Buddha When this Dalai Lama dies, China is blocking the next one 6 lines of children all connected
Occupation of Tibet 2009 • Oh Great Insidious Pejorative One, The Free Tibet Movement will remain active for 50 years (or until China finally leaves). There will be a movie made about your Pronounced Toadiness on this issue called “Kundun” in which you will be cast as the bad guy. • In 2008, China will feel powerful enough to tell people they cannot reincarnate anymore.
Mao Says: • Stop that reincarnating nonsense! • There shall be no more of that sort of thing. . . and no more purgatory or heaven for the rest of you either. • And don’t even think of having a jihad against me.
Three-Anti Campaign 1951三反五反 • In 1951, in Manchuria you issued a new reform movement in an effort to rid Chinese cities of corruption and “enemies of the state.” • This was brilliantly aimed at former Kuomintang (Nationalist) members, bureaucratic officials, and wealthy capitalists.
Mao Says: • The 3 Antis imposed are: 1. Corruption 2. Waste 3. Bureaucracy • So in other words, I am… • Anti-Corruption • Anti-Waste • Anti-Bureaucracy
Five-Anti Campaign 1952 • In Jan. 1952 you issued a new campaign targeting the capitalist class with vague guidelines. This was a war against the bourgeoisie (wealthy). • The 5 antis imposed were: • 1. Bribery (Anti-bribery) • 2. Theft of state property (Anti-Theft) • 3. Tax evasion (Anti-Tax Evasion) • 4. Cheating on government contracts • 5. Stealing state economic information.
Mao Says: • That was fun, let’s do it again! • Clean up, clean up, now it’s time for clean-up…
Results of the Antis Campaign Poor Dragon • As a result of your Antis Campaigns, over 20,000 citizens began spying on each other. • There was no protection for citizens or for private businesses. • 15,000 trained propaganda writers were hired and the media encouraged compliance with all government policies. • By 1952, citizens went door-to-door to visit business leaders which created intense psychological pressure to behave.
By the 1st week, 18,000 citizens were turned in. • By the end of the 1st month, over 210,000. • Companies voluntarily made a 1000 confessions a day to try and protect themselves from their own government. • Victims of your campaign were terrified, humiliated, killed or sent to labor camps. • All those found guilty had to pay fines.
Results of the Antis Campaign • Here is an example of your Obsequious Ignobleness: • After invading Tibet and Korea, Chinese businesses had new economic opportunities but first they had to borrow money from the Chinese government to pay the Antis fines back to the Chinese government in a complex financial pattern. • Sort of like borrowing tax money from a bail-out to pay your taxes!
Mao Says: • This is going great! • What’s next? • I know, I will now end Chinese dependence on agriculture in order to become a world power.
Agriculture Reform • In 1949 you divided us all into “Mutual Aid Teams” of5-15 households. • Then you created “Elementary Agricultural Cooperatives” of 20-40 households. • By 1956 you had created “Higher Co-operatives” of 100-300 families. • While you would hold “Peasants meetings” to hear our complaints, we had to stay for days or even weeks until we all “voluntarily” agreed to join collective.
1st Five Year Plan 1953(Little Leap Forward) • In an effort to control grain and agriculture, you had the government take control in a supply monopoly. • The state would buy from the people at a low price and then sell it back to the people at a much higher price. • The money raised would be used for industrialization.
1st Five Year Plan 1953(Little Leap Forward) • This was most unpopular with the peasants and took away all of their horses, mules, and farm equipment. Farms were merged into large “People’s Communes” for Collectivization. • You also listened to ‘experts’ who suggested new farming techniques such as “close cropping” which were unproven and unscientific. • These experts made us put the seeds too close, with the plowing too deep, and you forced us to leave parts of fields empty.
1st Five Year Plan 1953(Little Leap Forward) • But your friends, the Soviets help build new industrial factories. This Industry began to produce enough capital that China no longer needed the USSR’s support.
Mao Says: • This success makes me want to do another 5 year plan! • Someday, everything in the world will have a small tag that says “Made in China.”
2nd Five Year Plan 1958-1962(Great Leap Forward) 大躍進 • Your ideas created a Rapid transformation from a farming (agrarian) society to a modern, industrial society. • All private food production was banned. No private ownership of livestock or farm equipment. • The government took over complete price control with your “Theory of Productive Forces.”
2nd Five Year Plan 1958-1962(Great Leap Forward) 大躍進 • You took land from the landlords by force. • You created large industrialization projects and forced the peasants to work on infrastructure projects like iron and steel. • You also created a simplified Chinese system of characters so that all peasants could read your instructions and laws.
Mao Says: • “Let a 100 flowers blossom and a 100 schools of thought contend”
Hundred Flowers Campaign1955-1957 • In an incredible ruse, you claimed a “willingness to consider different opinions.” You encouraged liberal, intellectual Chinese to discuss their opposition and to question your leadership. • Then, you reversed this policy, and over 500,000 were named the Anti-Rightist Movement. You condemned and silenced them all. What a clever way to root out “dangerous thinking” amongst your people!
Great Sparrow Campaign1958 - 1962 Four Pests • In your Magnanimous-ness, you decided to eliminate 4 pests: rats, flies, mosquitoes, and sparrows. This was most brilliant (except that sparrows eat locusts and without them, devastating locust swarms destroyed our harvests). Yet you continued to export grain, even as we suffered widespread famine in the countryside • If local officials complained too loudly, they were tried and publicly executed for “giving out misinformation.”