Response Essay Critique

1. Response Essay Critique Fleshing out what’s good

2. SAMPLE INTRO “A major theme of Gary D. Shmidt's novel The Wednesday Wars is to never judge a book by its cover. . .” The essay begins with a weak theme that is too elementary. The problem?

3. “Two examples of characters judging each other is when Holling and Mrs. Baker judge each other. Mrs. Baker is a Jew, who judges Holling when she finds out that he is Presbyterian. She doesn't like this very much so she started being unfair and cruel to him in class. . .” The details that support the theme are Not entirely accurate; Mrs. Baker doesn’t misjudge Holling, and she isn’t unfair to him. She is trying to make him better, which he learns later. The Problem?

4. Uncovering the Good • Later this essay makes a very nice connection to the fallen hero, Mickey Mantle, explaining that Holling’s opinion of Mantle changes when he sees what an awful person Mantle really was.

5. Further Improvement • Change the theme to something like, “Holling learns that people are not always what they seem.” • Support by demonstrating how Mrs. Baker teaches him valuable lessons about life and about himself

6. “In the book "The Wednesday Wars" the protagonist Holling Hoodhood learns many lessons as he grows up. Holling's father has Holling's life entirely planned out for him. Due to this I believe that the theme of the entire book is that you should be who you want to be, not what someone else want's you to be.” Although the first sentence is fine, the theme, described as the “theme for the entire book” is off the mark. Holling’s father is a secondary character that may contribute to Holling’s growth, but there are many bigger lessons in the novel. The Problem

7. Uncovering the Good “I believe that one of the most meaningful points in the book comes when Holling's sister tells him something that opens his eyes. She tells him that she wants to be part of something bigger than herself. She also says that he should be Holling Hoodhood not just the Son Who is Going to EnheritHoodhood and Associates. I think that when she says this she means that he should not just let people boss him around and bully him but to be his own person.”   This is excellent support for the theme the author chooses.

8. The Fix • Again, a different theme is needed. • Plus, there are far too many simple mechanical errors; for example, “want’s,” is misspelled, “Enherit” is misspelled and “Wednesday Wars” should be underlined

9. An Excellent Response The following excerpts are from an essay with a good theme and solid supporting details

10. “The Wednesday Wars by Gary Schmidt was a book about the troubles of a 7th grade boy, Holling Hoodhood.  One of the main themes in the story was that one should open their eyes to things bigger than themselves.  For example, Holling realized that the Vietnam War and the MLK/ Robert Kennedy assassinations were more important than his problems at school. “. . . Romeo and Juliet, for example, could refer to him and a girl in his class named Meryl Lee.  On page 241, Holling feels like "going ahead and dying" as Julius Caesar had in the play.  Getting to know Mrs. Baker through Shakespeare was one of the first stages of Holling's growth throughout the book.     “Another stage of Holling's growth was the discovery of Mickey Mantle's true character. 

11. “When he finally got to meet his hero, Mickey let him down by not signing his ball.  Holling's classmate Danny gave his own ball back after seeing this, solidifying his friendship with Holling. . . One other important event was seeing who his sister Heather really was.  After Heather left home and was stuck in Minneapolis, Holling paid for her trip back home.  Holling's actions made them realize that they should be much nicer to each other.  These two events show the reader the value of friendship and kindness. . . .” • The author’s theme, seeing the important things in life, is clear and nicely supported. • Details include: the use of Shakespeare to help expand Holling’s perspective, as well as his friendship with Danny and his love for his sister