Writing Review and Workshop

1. Writing Review and Workshop Commas Wordiness Introductions and thesis statements Topic sentences and structure Analysis and evidence

2. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Commas can be used with coordinating conjunctions to join two independent clauses.

3. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Commas can be used with coordinating conjunctions to join two independent clauses. • Thus: • His grandfather, William James, had become a millionaire as a salesman and land speculator, and his fortune allowed Henry James Sr. and his family to live a life of ease, traveling back and forth across the Atlantic and throughout Europe (Haralson 4).

4. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • But commas should not be used to separate a subject and verb.

5. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • But commas should not be used to separate a subject and verb. • The juxtaposition of Victorian ideals and popular culture as viewed through modern, increasingly cynical eyes permeates Ulysses and To the Lighthouse, and creates a more realistic and modernly sophisticated setting for both novels.

6. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • But commas should not be used to separate a subject and verb. • The juxtaposition of Victorian ideals and popular culture as viewed through modern, increasingly cynical eyes permeates Ulysses and To the Lighthouse, and creates a more realistic and modernly sophisticated setting for both novels. • The test: is there a new subject after the comma?

7. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • But commas should not be used to separate a subject and verb. • The juxtaposition of Victorian ideals and popular culture as viewed through modern, increasingly cynical eyes permeates Ulysses and To the Lighthouse and creates a more realistic and modernly sophisticated setting for both novels. • The test: is there a new subject after the comma? • If not, simply remove the comma.

8. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Commas can be used in pairs to set off a non-restrictive modifier.

9. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Commas can be used in pairs to set off a non-restrictive modifier. • Thus: • The song primarily appears, in various lengths and permutations, in Leopold Bloom’s consciousness as he travels in and around Dublin on June 16, 1904.

10. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Commas can be used in pairs to set off a non-restrictive modifier. • Thus: • The song primarily appears, in various lengths and permutations, in Leopold Bloom’s consciousness as he travels in and around Dublin on June 16, 1904. • The test: if you can remove the phrase without changing the sentence’s basic meaning, it’s a non-restrictive modifier and needs a pair of commas.

11. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Commas can be used in pairs to set off a non-restrictive modifier. • Note that it has to be a pair of commas, one before and one after the phrase.

12. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Commas can be used in pairs to set off a non-restrictive modifier. • Note that it must be a pair of commas, one before and one after the phrase. • WiliamLabov, a noted sociolinguist has developed a structure for narratives which refers the sequence of clauses to the sequence of events that actually occurred.

13. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Commas can be used in pairs to set off a non-restrictive modifier. • Note that it must be a pair of commas, one before and one after the phrase. • WiliamLabov, a noted sociolinguist,has developed a structure for narratives which refers the sequence of clauses to the sequence of events that actually occurred.

14. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • When identifying the century you’re discussing, write out the number.

15. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • When identifying the century you’re discussing, write out the number. • Not “19th century”

16. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • When identifying the century you’re discussing, write out the number. • Not “19th century” • Instead: “nineteenth century”

17. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • When identifying the century you’re discussing, write out the number. • Not “19th century” • Instead: “nineteenth century” • When using the century as an adjective to modify another noun, hyphenate.

18. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • When identifying the century you’re discussing, write out the number. • Not “19th century” • Instead: “nineteenth century” • When using the century as an adjective to modify another noun, hyphenate. • Not “twentieth century fiction”

19. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • When identifying the century you’re discussing, write out the number. • Not “19th century” • Instead: “nineteenth century” • When using the century as an adjective to modify another noun, hyphenate. • Not “twentieth century fiction” • Instead: “twentieth-century fiction”

20. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Carefulness in documentation matters when you submit your work to a journal. • Basic rule-following of this kind helps construct your ethos and reassures editors. • The best way to ensure that your documentation is accurate is to refer frequently to the handbook for the style required by your chosen journal.

21. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Aubrey, John. “The Dating of Donne’s ‘La Corona.’” Philological Quarterly. 36 1957. pp259-265.

22. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Aubrey, John. “The Dating of Donne’s ‘La Corona.’” Philological Quarterly. 36 1957. pp259-265. • But according to MLA . . . • Aubrey, John. “The Dating of Donne’s ‘La Corona’.” Philological Quarterly 36 (1957): 259-265. Print.

23. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Howard, Henry, and Frederick M. Padelford. The Poems of Henry Howard Earl of Surrey. [ed. By] Frederick Morgan Padelford. Seattle: Univ. of Washington Press, 1928. 

24. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Howard, Henry, and Frederick M. Padelford. The Poems of Henry Howard Earl of Surrey. [ed. By] Frederick Morgan Padelford. Seattle: Univ. of Washington Press, 1928.  • But according to MLA . . . • Howard, Henry. The Poems of Henry Howard Earl of Surrey.Ed. Frederick M. Padelford. Seattle: U of Washington P, 1928. Print.

25. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Use in-text documentation to separate your ideas from other critics’ ideas.

26. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Use in-text documentation to separate your ideas from other critics’ ideas. • Like the notion of citizenship, which is “the abstract result of the forgetting of historical relation and its struggle” (Castronovo 254), the corresponding notion of freedom is the abstract result of discounting real social and historical factors such as slavery.

27. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Use in-text documentation to separate your ideas from other critics’ ideas. • To reverse the effects of desensitization, optometric professionals recommended “clean water, fresh air, and sunlight,” environmental factors abundant in the Eden-like bucolic setting at the beginning of the poem (Otter 57).

28. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Use in-text documentation to separate your ideas from other critics’ ideas. • To reverse the effects of desensitization, optometric professionals recommended “clean water, fresh air, and sunlight,” environmental factors abundant in the Eden-like bucolic setting at the beginning of the poem (Otter 57). • Problem: Otter does not discuss this poem, but citation placement makes it appear so.

29. Commas(and one or two other vexing points) • Use in-text documentation to separate your ideas from other critics’ ideas. • Solution: move the citation to clarify. • To reverse the effects of desensitization, optometric professionals recommended “clean water, fresh air, and sunlight” (Otter 57), environmental factors abundant in the Eden-like bucolic setting at the beginning of the poem.

30. Wordiness • Has to do with clarity and style.

31. Wordiness • Has to do with clarity and style. • Generally best to state your ideas as directly as possible.

32. Wordiness • Has to do with clarity and style. • Generally best to state your ideas as directly as possible. • Use jargon and highfalutin words only when necessary (e.g., not “utilize” but “use”)

33. Wordiness • Has to do with clarity and style. • Generally best to state your ideas as directly as possible. • Use jargon and highfalutin words only when necessary (e.g., not “utilize” but “use”) • The idea is to communicate clearly to your reader . . .

34. Wordiness • Has to do with clarity and style. • Generally best to state your ideas as directly as possible. • Use jargon and highfalutin words only when necessary (e.g., not “utilize” but “use”) • The idea is to communicate clearly to your reader . . . • because it’s clearer

35. Wordiness • Has to do with clarity and style. • Generally best to state your ideas as directly as possible. • Use jargon and highfalutin words only when necessary (e.g., not “utilize” but “use”) • The idea is to communicate clearly to your reader . . . • because it’s clearer • because it thereby helps to create a positive ethos

36. Wordiness • Has to do with clarity and style. • Generally best to state your ideas as directly as possible. • Use jargon and highfalutin words only when necessary (e.g., not “utilize” but “use”) • The idea is to communicate clearly to your reader • because it’s clearer • because it thereby helps to create a positive ethos • and therefore helps to persuade your audience more effectively.

37. The Paramedic Method for Revising Prose(adapted from: Lanham, Richard. Revising Prose. 4th ed. New York: Longman, 2000.) • Pay attention to prepositions and prepositional phrases, and eliminate them where you can. • Pay attention to forms of the verb ‘to be,’ especially when used as an auxiliary. • Ask, “Who’s kicking whom?” • Put the sentence’s action in a direct active verb. • Construct the sentence to highlight its most important element. Often this means putting the subject and verb first. • Read your work aloud with emphasis and feeling. A few qualifiers: • You don't have to eliminate all prepositional phrases, but do eliminate those that clutter. The same goes for forms of ‘to be.’ • The passive voice is okay if you want to emphasize the object of the action. • Short sentences are most often used for emphasis and/or transitions; long sentences usually contain more complex thoughts. • Eliminate vague modifiers; make up for deletions with concrete words/specific details.

38. Wordiness • Although these assumptions have been established based mostly on the evidence of Wyatt’s poems found in manuscripts, as there is, as explained, very few instances of Surrey’s work in manuscript form, it has been accepted that Surrey’s poems suffered a similar fate. • 42 words, and a little convoluted.

39. Wordiness • Although these assumptions have been established based mostly on the evidence of Wyatt’s poems found in manuscripts

40. Wordiness • Although these assumptions have been established based mostly on the evidence of Wyatt’s poems found in manuscripts • Although these assumptions are grounded on the evidence of Wyatt’s manuscript poems

41. Wordiness • as there is, as explained, very few instances of Surrey’s work in manuscript form,

42. Wordiness • as there is, as explained, very few instances of Surrey’s work in manuscript form, • since few manuscript instances of Surrey’s work survive,

43. Wordiness • it has been accepted that Surrey’s poems suffered a similar fate.

44. Wordiness • it has been accepted that Surrey’s poems suffered a similar fate. • scholars have accepted that Surrey’s poems suffered a similar fate.

45. Wordiness • We’re now down to 30 words . . . But consider the logical relationship of the parts here.

46. Wordiness • We’re now down to 30 words . . . But consider the logical relationship of the parts here. • Although these assumptions are grounded on the evidence of Wyatt’s manuscript poems, • since few manuscript instances of Surrey’s work survive, • scholars have accepted that Surrey’s poems suffered a similar fate.

47. Wordiness • Problem: Although few manuscript instances of Surrey’s work survive,

48. Wordiness • Problem: Although few manuscript instances of Surrey’s work survive, • Reasoning by analogy: because of the evidence of Wyatt’s manuscript poems,

49. Wordiness • Problem: Although few manuscript instances of Surrey’s work survive, • Reasoning by analogy: because of the evidence of Wyatt’s manuscript poems, • Conclusion: scholars have accepted that Surrey’s poems suffered a similar fate.

50. Wordiness Although few manuscript instances of Surrey’s work survive, because of the evidence of Wyatt’s manuscript poems, scholars have accepted that Surrey’s poems suffered a similar fate. • 26 words.