Session one gender

2. Session onegender

3. What is Gender? • Gender is: “the socially constructed roles, behaviours, activities, and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for men and women” World Health Organisation

6. The films and books we read and watch: “I didn’t know if there ever was a choice, really. I was already in too deep” Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 7, p.139

7. The goods we buy

8. The music we listen to I'm Dre from back in the day from NWA from black and the gray from choking a bitch to smacking her face fromStacking up bodies to racking their kegs up from Racking a bitch to, stacking them crates up Eminem 2009

9. The way we have sex: • Should I be mad at my boyfriend looking at porn? My boyfriend and I have lived together for almost a year. When we first got together I noticed that he was looking at porn. I told him how much I did not like it. It mad me feel as though I was not attractive. … Well for about 3 months he stop looking at it. Then he started back. I don't know what to do.. Should I talk to him or just let it be? • Let it be. You made yourself feel unattractive by irrationally telling yourself that him looking at porn means he's not attracted to you. Stop telling yourself such ridiculous things. Men look at porn because it's interesting and fun. Do you also think when he watches football that it means you're not sporty enough? Of course not, and what you're telling yourself about porn is just as silly as that would be.

10. The jokes we tell: What's the odd thing out: meat, eggs, wife, blowjob? Blowjob - because you can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.Life with a woman is like a pack of cards - you need a heart to love one, you need a diamond to marry one, you need club to beat her and a spade to bury the bitch

11. WOMAN MAN OR Male Physical Body Male Gender Identity Masculine Behaviour Female Physical Body Female Gender Identity Feminine Behaviour

12. Gender is a spectrum MAN? WOMAN?

13. Session twocontinuum of abuse

14. Allport’s scale

15. Session threeIntervention

16. Intervention is more than do or don’t • If a friend is unhappy we might ask what’s wrong • If someone has taken their turn out of line we might stop them • If we see someone struggling with a push chair, we might ask if they need help • If someone’s being unfair, we might tell them they’re out of order We intervene all the time, but we might not see it as intervention

17. RECOGNISE • Acknowledge the situation is making you uncomfortable • ASSESS • What is happening? • Is it safe for those involved? • Is it safe for you? Emotionally and physically? • RESPOND • What can you do? Anything? Nothing? Something in between?

18. Intervention can mean: • Directly challenging • Distracting • Delegating • Delaying Your safety is paramount.

19. Directly challenge • Approach someone directly and challenge their behaviour • Distract • Try to distract the person from the situation • Delegate • Contact an authority figure • Delay • Look for a time when it’s more appropriate to challenge

20. Session four Assertiveness and intervention

21. Passive Passive people tend to back off until the situation gets worse • Aggressive Aggressive people can often aggravate the problem • Assertive Assertive people often handle difficult situations and people well

22. Assertiveness Assertiveness is the ‘co-operative’ approach to problem solving it takes into account our needs and the needs of the other person

23. Role play • You’re at the cinema in a really long queue and you have been waiting for a while to get in. Someone jumps in front. What do you do?

24. Assertive phrases • “when you…. • “the effects on me are….. • “it makes me feel….” • “I can hear what you’re saying…”

25. Session fiveScenarios and strategies

26. You’re at a party, and when you walk outside, you see a friend of yours trying to get a drunk young woman to leave with him. She’s really wasted; she’s stumbling over her own feet. You know the young woman, and she seems reluctant. • Is this any of my business? Guys and girls who are drinking hook up all the time.....Then again, she looks really drunk. Maybe she’s not in a position to make a good decision.....What about him? Has he been drinking? Is he planning to drive? I can’t ignore that, either....I know a lot of “date rape” involves alcohol. Could this be one of those situations? But what if I’m overreacting? • Won’t my friend be mad at me? Will he even listen to me? But if I don’t do something, I might be letting her down. • What should I do?

27. You’re at a football match with your family and your team are losing-badly. When the star player falls over, you hear a close relative shouting “Get up you fairy!”. Their homophobic abuse gets worse and worse and you’re feeling pretty upset by all this. You know this relative is a kind person normally. • Should I say something? I know they’re normally really kind hearted, they probably don’t mean it? But what they’re saying isn’t ok. • What should I do?

28. You’re walking home and a young woman is walking in front of you, you stop at the traffic lights. A car pulls up and three men lean out and start shouting at her. She is clearly upset. What do you do?