Cues to Teach a Child to Express Angry Feelings

1. Cues to Teach a Child to Express Angry Feelings • It is okay to be mad. Anger is an appropriate feeling to have when others hurt you. • Angry feelings are part of being a human being. bBe firm, fair, and friendly to speak to your “mads”. • People are not to be hurt. Use your words instead of your fists.

2. Expressing Angry Feelings • Work out your ‘mads” with your words. • It is important that we be gentle with people. Be a people friendly person. • People, animals, and plants are not to be hurt. Treat all living things with respect. • Make a good choice. Stop and think before you act. • You can make a good choice when you are mad. Use your words!

3. Expressing Angry Feelings • Know what sets you off. Know your hot spots and trigger points. • Own your feelings. You are responsible for how you feel and act. • Separate the Big Deals from the Little Deals. Problem solve Big Deals. Let go off Little Deals. • You can’t have your own way all the time. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

4. Expressing Angry Feelings • Chill out. You don’t have to get mad over every little thing. Be a cool dude. • You can let go of your “mads” by talking about them and working them out. • Tell someone when you are hurt. Find someone safe to talk to when you are upset. • Let your anger go in safe ways. Use your words. You can work out your “mads”.

5. Expressing Angry Feelings • Breathe when your “mads” come up. Blow those mads out! • Don’t store anger in your body. Let it go. Talk it out. Tell someone about your “mads”. • Look at the expression on ____’s face. How do you think he feels inside? Did you ever feel that way? Tell me about it.

6. Expressing Angry Feelings • I know how you feel, sometimes I get mad myself. Then I tell myself, “It’s okay to be mad if you are firm and fair about it.” • Ask the child to own his behaviour and correct his error. • What did you do to get yourself in trouble? What would be a better choice to make?

7. Expressing Angry Feelings • You can figure out what you did wrong and do it right next time. Let’s figure out some choices. Put yourself in ____’s shoes. How do you think he felt when you teased him? • Are you being part of the problem or part of the solution right now? How could you change that? We can feel good inside when we go for solutions.

8. Expressing Angry Feelings • You are the kind of kid who can own up to what you did and take care of your own bad feelings. • I believe in you. Sometimes it’s tough, isn’t it? You are one terrific kid.

11. Helper Words Help Children Change Their Thinking and Behaviour Patterns • Helper words or internal tapes helps the child remember ways to handle tricky situations. The research shows what Chinese educators have known all along: kids’ memory improves when they talk out loud to themselves. The child’s verbalization of a positive phrase to remind himself how to act helps him store this information the brain.

12. Helper Words Help Children Change Their Thinking and Behaviour Patterns • Group responses, chants, and repeating the positive phrases many times daily out loud will help children to internalize concepts that emphasize self esteem building. The trick to working yourself out of a job as the intervener of bad behaviour is encouraging the children to remind themselves what they can do to care of themselves during conflict. Help children learn to se these and other Helper Word statements.

13. Helper Word Statements • I feel good about using my words to talk things out. • I give up put downs. I stop myself from saying put downs. • I notice and speak up about hurts. • I own my mistakes. I feel good about correcting my mistakes. • I don’t have to hurt back after hearing about a hurt I caused.

14. Helper Word Statements • I see how my positive actions affect others. • I calm my anger. I put my anger in a place where it won’t hurt anyone.