Skillful parenting - TOWARDS A HAPPY AND A PRODUCTIVE child …

1. Skillful parenting - TOWARDS A HAPPY AND A PRODUCTIVE child … Dr Piyanjali de Zoysa Senior Lecturer – Clinical Psychology Department of psychological Medicine Faculty of Medicine University of Colombo ptdz@sltnet.lk

2. We will talk about … • Format of the program • Administering the questionnaire • The need for disciplining • For a happy and productive child • Physical punishment • Is it useful? • Psychological punishment • Is it useful? • Positive disciplining methods • How else can we discipline children?

3. Format of Awareness program • Introduce program as ‘Skillful parenting” – not disciplining • Administer questionnaire • Have discussion about what makes a happy/productive child (20 minutes) • Get the discussion to focus on the fact that physical/psychological punishment is not good • Do the awareness program • Role play and discussion (20 minutes) – based on case scenarios

4. Administering the Questionnaire • At the onset • No talking • Assure confidentiality • Ask them to reflect on one child ONLY • Collect and keep aside – check all completed, assign numbers against name • Don’t tell of post-intervention data collection

5. Disciplining is not easy • Disciplining is teaching and guiding. It is not punishing • We do not want to punish children. We want to alter their behaviour • Physical punishment has been used for generations • Pulling the ear • Hitting the arm • Piching • Some believe that it is the best way to deal with children who are difficult to manage • Physical punishment is NOT an effective method

6. Some Effects of Physical Punishment • Emotional consequences • Negative self-esteem • Depression • Intellectual consequences • Hinders intellectual development • Hence, academic achievement • Behavioural consequences • Aggression

7. Theoretical Model Support Parenting Psychological Maladjustment Physical Punishment Attitudes Violence

8. Participants • Sample size • 1226 school children studying in the Sinhala medium in Government schools in Colombo • Age • 11.83 yrs • Gender • 61% females, 39% males • Religion • 85% Buddhist, 6% Islam, 4% Catholic, 5% other • Ethnicity • 90% Sinhala, 6% Muslim, 2% Tamil, 2% other

9. Findings • Increasing levels of physical punishment increased psychological maladjustment • Aggression, Negative world view, Emotional unresponsiveness, Emotional instability, Negative self-esteem etc • Psychological maladjustment further increased by child’s experience of other types of violence (community, peer, teacher, domestic). • “Cycle of violence” • CP + Violence Psychological Maladjustment Violence • Several “positive” variables did not reduce the impact of physical punishment (child’s attitude, support networks, parental nurturance).

10. Other findings • Psychological punishment leads to corporal punishment • Physical punishment leads to physical abuse • I.e. More violent forms of physical punishment • It’s a continuum of violence … • Psychological aggression  physical punishment  physical abuse • So you must not hit NOR pull the ear scold NOR call names …

11. Myths of Physical Punishment • “If I had not been beaten I would be worse” • No hitting means no discipline” • “Not hitting is a Western matter”

12. Psychological aggression is not effective either … • Use positive instead of negative words • “I am a bit tired, I will talk to you before dinner”, instead of “You are annoying me.” • Avoid talking about the child's ‘faults’ in his presence • Avoid comparing one child with another • When a child has a problem try not to solve it for him • The quality of communication between parents

13. Positive Methods of Disciplining • GOOD ENOUGH PARENTING – Open, loving, tolerant… • Being a role model • Charts and rewards – for very young children • Attention and ignore method • Time-out – 5-6 year olds • Removal of privileges • Reasoning • Tell her how her behavior makes you feel • Display calm authority

14. Role Plays • Discuss and answer