Sex Scandals

1. Sex Scandals Why do they happen? What do they teach us ? Why are we interested?

2. Mr. President- Mr. Intern • Mr. Weiner Mr. NY Rep Exhibitionist • Mr. Spitzer –Mr. Anti Prostitution • Mr. Sanford Hiking the Appalachian Trail • Mr. Edwards Mr. Impregnator • Mr. Arnold – Governor and Staff Impregnator • Mr. General – Mr. All In • And scores of soap operas yet unveiled.. But coming… Let us count the public figure thrillers:

3. Not counting Newt Gingrich- who cheats on two wives • In an affair while he prosecutes Clinton for Monica • Introduces divorce papers to wife in hospital getting radiation • Then runs for President and attacks journalist for bringing up his moral past! • Campaigns with third wife who was previous mistress

4. Or Jimmy Sweigert—religious guru arrested for visiting prostitutes -wife stays? • Hugh Grant- arrested for getting quick oral sex in a taxi cab ( Girl friend stays, goes, comes back?) • A U.S Senator - for “tapping his foot “ for a same sex liaison in a public bathroom.. Wife stays… • Or Cheeky Rep Mark Souder of Indiana- who had an affair with a staffer who was helping him produce a video on abstinence!!

5. In some ways its old news..

6. President Thomas Jefferson fathered a child by his mistress and slave President Warren G Harding carried on an affair with the wife a family friend and fathered a child out of wedlock President and General Eisenhour had a long affair with the woman who was his driver during WWII Renown CIA Director ( Dulles) had , according to his sister, over 100 affairs, perhaps one with the Queen of Greece President Kennedy and his brother Bobby, a Senator , reportedly had affairs with Marilyn Monroe- and many other women..

7. What about our more recent soap operas….? A short recitation on the facts as we know them..

8. Mr . President- Bill Clinton • Accused several times, but it doesn’t stick- Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones • Accused of lying to Congress under oath about “that women, Miss Lewinsky” when her semen soaked dress is produced • Goes through impeachment hearings • Wife stays • Becomes darling of philanthropy, 2012 elections king maker Slick Willie..

9. Smart • A “Crusader” Against Prostitution • Happily Married, etc. • Caught by the very people he trained • headlines • Apologizes, wife takes him back • Minor punishment- Now a Pundit on TV Mr. Spitzer

10. Elected Official • Happily Married • Exhibitionist • Arrogant • Gets Caught with exposure on internet • Wife takes him back ( to treatment) • After publicity- still does it again—AND runs for office • Charges probably still pending Mr. Weiner

11. Runs for President while having an affair with his “videographer” • Denies accusations extolling his wife’s beauty, charm and brains • Openly runs around the country with mistress • She gets pregnant, one of us guys takes the rap- for a while • Long suffering , dying of cancer wife reconciles on death bed • Children support him • Goes to trial--is acquitted of using campaign money illegally • Public hates him Mr. Edwards

12. Southern Governor finds his Argentinian soul mate • Tells his aids to tell people he’s gone “ hiking” • Loopy in love, he pines after her, when caught • Wife, a lawyer, leaves him Governor Stanford

13. Mr. Arnold • Movie Star who has a reputation for running around, harassing women • Classy wife defends him in campaign • She finds out about his affair with housekeeper- and that he is the father of her child • Almost reconciles – but leaves him • Shameless Arnold out hawking his story in a book The Governator

14. Head of CIA- but makes mistakes in covering up email! • Reputation for ambition and discipline • Married 38 years to classic help mate wife • Has affair with his biographer for two years • Exposed because biographer writes letters to a Tampa socialite to stay away from another general! • Contrite – wife probably stays Mr. General

15. What does this teach us ? Number One: The sexuality of driven and powerful men…

16. They Love to be adored: videographers, interns, biographers • They want what they want • They can’t believe they will be caught • They are willing to be outrageous and shameless- • They believe that they deserve a soul mate or babe Note : there are no women caught…

17. There are no powerhouse women in these scandals.. • There are women offenders- • Mary Kay Letourneau – grade school teacher • Bombshell blond high school teacher • Latest teacher with 18 year old – holding hands in the courtroom.. • But not Diane Feinstein, Ruth Ginsberg, Pelosi etc.. Why?

18. Mentoring isn’t sexy for most women • Underlings don’t go after them.. • They are less arrogant, more careful and don’t get caught? • Are men more secretive lovers than mistresses? What else did we learn?

19. Two- People really lie well

20. Bill Clinton’s classic looking us into the camera and saying “ I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky” • John Edwards declaring his love for his wife • Priceless.

21. How could the head of the CIA think this would stay uncovered? • How did President Clinton think he could cover up obvious interaction with Monica Lewinsky? • How did Governor Stanford think he could just disappear for days? etc. People lie to themselves well…

22. Three-How compulsive sexuality can be

23. How did John Edwards and Arnold Schwarzenegger allow themselves to father a child? • Why couldn’t they take simple precautions- for their health, safety, and wife?

24. Four: The underbelly of political marriages..

25. The Clinton marriage is an interesting piece of work.. And over time, both they- and we have accepted it.. What men do when women will stay..

26. The Political Marriage is its own intricate set of compromises in includes: • Admiration and belief in your partner • Belief in his purpose even when he is flawed • Loyalty and partnership at its core • Sadness when the loyalty goes only one way • A way of life, hard to give up, hard to live with • But is it only political marriages- or are these just the ones we din out about..

27. The level of surveillance we have now gives us full exchanges- more information than ever– and still – women stay.. And perhaps, men as well.. What would we know if we had perfect information on everyone?

28. Five-men really don’t understand women’s power

29. The press was contemptuous or over protective of Monica Lewinsky– but she kept the dress • Jennifer Flowers and Paula Jones went to the public • Broadwell found a way to do Patreus’ biography and flew around the world with him • Edward’s mistress got a baby and a residence Are these women victims?

30. Six- how kinky affair sex can be..

31. Monica with a cigar • Oral Sex in the President’s Office while he is on the phone.. • The immortal words of Prince Charles with his affair with Camilla on his wish to be her tampon!!

32. The Bible belt in particular, seems to breed some sexual hijinks • The Governor of South Carolina • The State Rep from Indiana • The President from Arkansas • We are no longer surprised at the hypocrisy

33. Seven: The inner workings of adultery …

34. The trips • The Lying • Should we assume an affair when a famous man is in a picture with an attractive woman?

35. Eight: Headlines are a new form of sex ed!

36. Trying to explain oral sex to kids during the Clinton scandal • The Mary Kay Letourneau Types – what is wrong about a teacher with a 13 year old.. How about marrying him? • ` Exhibitionism from Wiener • Prostitution from Spitzer

37. Nine: Our prudishness is being compromised- ( are we becoming European?)

38. We resurrect almost all of the offenders (Edwards is probably the exception..) • We condemn infidelity- but we are getting used to it..

39. Clinton has obviously been ( is?) a player- but we love him anyhow. What we say is different from what we do

40. Will more people tolerate being betrayed ? Have these public scandals changed us?

41. Ten: Forget about Privacy

42. Nothing is ever lost • We have aggressive retrieval going back years • No one seems to be able to resist email • Even a CIA head could not figure out a safe system • We catch child molesters- but also errant public servants and everyday cheaters..

43. What’s the ultimate impact of scandals?

44. Does it hurt our expectations about marriage? • Will it change the way we act in marriage? • Does it affect our own individual behavior? • Should we be more European? • What do we think about male and female differences?