How to set boundaries in a new relationship | Boundaries in a Relationship

1. By By Julia Julia Nowland Nowland

2. When the book, The Rules, by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, first came out in 1995, it became an instant hit.

3. “Women concept of having a set of ‘rules’ to help them navigate the early stages of their romantic relationships.” everywhere were drawn to the

4. Julia Nowland Julia Nowland

5. What are Boundaries?  Boundaries are a set of rules we create to let people know how we would like to be treated.  They also how other actions and words affect us and how our own behaviour and words can affect others. determine people’s

6. How to set Boundaries?

7. You can set boundaries by means of...  Being crystal clear about how you want to be treated is so important when entering into any new relationship.  Setting up the understanding of what you prefer gives the other person the opportunity to figure out if they expectations, or not. can meet your

8. • Being flexible is important. Allowing room for mistakes is okay, but when their pattern of behaviour feels like you have to constantly adjust something within yourself, then it’s time to make a decision about what you really want.

9. Here are my top 3 boundary-setting guidelines: 1. Mildly annoying behaviours vs. deal breakers – People aren’t perfect. There’s going to be behaviours that annoy you from time to time. That’s totally normal. But there are behaviours that you’ll want to (and should) draw a line at. Having a good understanding difference is for you can help you decide when to be flexible, and when to call it a day. of what the

10. 2. When the tables are turned How do you react when someone says ‘no’ to you? How do you go with someone else’s boundary? Can you handle hearing a ‘no’ without trying to push your own agenda or sulk? To be clear, I’m talking about the everyday ‘nos’ as opposed to outright rejection. Both people need to able to hear ‘no’ without taking it personally, and adapt accordingly. If for whatever reason you can’t accept their boundary, then it’s probably time to call it a day.

11. 3. Getting your own needs met Do you find it difficult to tell people what you need or want from them or the situation? Sometimes it is just easier to keep quiet and go along with things, but if you can’t or won’t set boundaries, people will start to treat you like a doormat. People ultimately respect and admire those who can set clear boundaries and express them with confidence from the outset.

12. Ultimately, when we understand what it is that we like, or don’t communicate that in a way that’s respectful to ourselves, and others. Whether or not the other person chooses to accept our boundary is entirely out of our control. like, we can

13. Want to learn more? Check out: www.wholeheartrelationships.com/how-to- set-boundaries-in-a-new-relationship