Observations on the DBQ

1. Observations on the DBQ Ms. Sheets AP World History

2. Thesis • Must address prompt • Must include place/time as stated in prompt if given • Must include at least 3 groups (specific, not vague) • Not a simple restatement • Begin with first date (if given) and end with last date (if given)

3. Thesis • Unsuccessful Thesis: • Many factors revolving around many things such as gender-based, political, and economic issues helped to shape the Modern Olympic Movement. • Uses “phrase,” vague, no dates • Successful Thesis: • Since their inception in 1892, the Olympic games have been molded by global power struggles, economic opportunity, and the advancement of women in society to become the beloved international tradition that they were by 2002.

4. Thesis • Unsuccessful Thesis: • From its reintroduction in 1892, the Modern Olympics became more than a sporting event, changing gender opinions, boosting economies, and staging the battlegrounds for political firefights, and the Modern Olympics has been a pivotal part of society from 2002 and beyond. • Inverts the prompt: says the Olympics changed these things rather than these things changed the Olympics • Successful Thesis: • The 1896 Olympic Games expanded for over a century, with the help of women fighting to be considered equal among men, country rivalries to prove their dominance, and the economic benefits of the games provided to each country, to shape it to how it appears in 2002.

5. Analysis/Evidence • Evidence must address the question and answer the prompt • Interpret document: what larger ideas does this document indicate? • How does this document relate to its group? • How does this document relate to another or differ from another document? • “This shows that . . .”; “This proves that . . .”; “This illustrates that . . .”;

6. Analysis/Evidence • Unsuccessful • Ali Kabir, a sports writer for the internet edition of the English-language Pakistani newspaper Dawn explains how Pakistani peole “were willing to sacrifice anything for the newborn country.” But now he feels like people are “clueless and have tarnished the country’s name.” • Who are “people”? • Simply restating document. • Successful • Another example of how national wealth shaped the Modern Olympic movement is the graph provided by the International Olympic Committee statistics showing the fees paid for broadcasting the Olympics (doc 9). With this graph, we see an upward trend in how much money was spent for broadcasting; this is most likely because of the increased television use over time as well as the growing popularity of the Olympics

7. POV • POV explains WHY this particular person or organization might have this particular opinion OR what particular feature informs the author’s point of view. • Students must move beyond mere description of the individual by considering AND explaining the tone, the characteristics and experiences of the author, the intended audience, and/or how the intended outcome may have influenced the author’s opinion. • Mere attribution is not sufficient. Attribution is copying or repeating information verbatim from the document.

8. POV • Must be about the AUTHOR of the document itself, not about the event/moment the document is describing. • WHY they think X . . . Not THAT they think X

9. POV • Unsuccessful • Arnold Lunn, a British team official, wrote the following in his autobiography; he seemed to have a lot of anger towards the Germans which creates a biased opinion. • Does not explain why Lunn has this negative opinion. • Successful • Arnold Lunn, a British team official at the 1936 games in Germany, strongly believed the Nazis would follow any means, break any rule to defeat their enemies and prove their point, practically in a desperate fashion. Lunn was British though, and might point out all the wrongs in the Germans, basedon the timing of the games leading up to World War II.

10. POV • Unsuccessful • The Nazis believed that Nazism was greater than democracy, and that they had to prove this with skiing. • Must be POV of the author of the document, not who is discussed in the document. • Successful • Matthias views the Soviets as the enemy and talks about them with a dark tone because at the time of the competition the Cold War was taking place which involved much fighting amidst the US and Soviets.

11. POV • Unsuccessful • Azuma, the mayor of Tokyo, said that if it wasn’t for the curing power of the Olympics, Tokyo would not be the world trade power that it is. • Does not explain why Azuma has this negative opinion. • Directly restates what the document said. • Successful • Azuma’s assuring point of view as a mayor and Olympic organizer is important in this case because it proves he knows the significant amount of restoration the Olympics brought to Japan.

12. Additional Document • Students must identify an additional type of document AND explain how the document or source will contribute to an analysis of the factors that shaped the modern Olympic movement from 1892 to 2002. • Why would this help you learn more? What specifically would that show you and how would that help expand upon or provide contrast to the ideas you have presented? • What you want + what it would say + why that matters.

13. Additional Document • Unsuccessful • Some additional documents that would have been helpful in writing this essay would have been a document of 21st century women participation, economic revenue over the years, a Russian competitor’s response to the 1965 ski race “cheating,” and explanation from Korea on why they didn’t partake in sponsorship slots. • Successful • An additional document that would have been helpful would be an Economic Journal from Korea stating whether Korean companies felt that not sponsoring the 1988 was significant. This would allow me to assess more accurately the importance countries put on Olympic sponsorships as well as if non-sponsoring countries felt inferior to sponsoring countries.

14. Re-write • Re-write MUST have original essay attached behind it. • Make all changes necessary to reach a 7. • Then, strive for an 8 or 9. • Think about including Doc 1 – Pierre de Coubertin as a thread throughout the essay • Add extra POVs and Additional Documents • Add historical context • Edit carefully • Due on Friday, 9/13. NO EXTENSIONS.