Communication and Conflict Management in Special Education

1. Communication and Conflict Management in Special Education DoDEA Center for Early Dispute Resolution (CEDR) Camp Lejeune November 2-3, 2010 Anita Engiles, Dispute Resolution Specialist, CADRE Leila Peterson, Executive Director, SchoolTalk

2. CADRE Priorities Promote problem solving and agreement reaching skills Implement effective dispute resolution processes Enhance state agency and parent center collaboration Assist states to implement dispute resolution provisions of IDEA Support improved state system performance Compile information and data on state systems Disseminate knowledge about dispute resolution

3. Major Activities CADRE Website Over 900 individual resources CADRE Continuum of Process & Practices Over 70 individual state/local ADR examples RAISE DataBase Over 240 abstracted research/practice articles Symposia Gallery ~ All presentations materials from 2005 National Conference on IEP Facilitation & 2006 National Symposium on Dispute Resolution in Special Education Español 9 translated resources, primarily directed at family members Rich Media Flash videos on CADRE, Listening Skills (English & Spanish), Understanding Interests (English & Spanish), Tale of Two Conversations and Study Guide

4. Major Activities (cont.) Developing Community, Creating Partnerships & Leveraging Resources NPTAC/RPTAC/State PTIs/CPRCsNASDSE/IDEA Partnerships/Project FORUMNICHCY – National Dissemination CenterRRCs/Dispute Resolution WorkgroupCOP Listservs: Mediation/ADR, State Written Complaints, Due Process Hearings National Symposia First National Symposium on Dispute Resolution (2000) Beyond Mediation: The Second National Symposium on Dispute Resolution (2002) Moving Upstream: The Third National Symposium on Dispute Resolution (2004) National Symposium on IEP Facilitation (2005) On the Road to Agreement ~ IDEA ’04 & More: The Fourth National Symposium on Dispute Resolution (2006)

5. Major Activities (cont.) Data SPP/APR Analysis "Longitudinal DR Database" - Table 4 and Table 7 summaries online (5 years of data online) State-Specific Work Dispute Resolution System Integration and Performance Enhancement (DR SIPE) Looking To The Future Exemplar Work

6. CADRE Activities Result in… • Earlier dispute resolution • Vibrant communities of practice • State dispute resolution system improvement • Compilation of research and evaluative data • Information on national dispute resolution use and outcomes • Improved collaboration and dispute resolution skills • Reduced use of adversarial dispute resolution processes

7. Workshop Objectives Participants will gain an awareness of: • the sources and dynamics of conflict. • different styles for approaching or managing conflict. • ‘listening to understand’ as an essential relationship and communication skill. • the difference between ‘positions’ and ‘interests.’

8. Workshop Objectives (cont.) Participants will become: • familiar with the continuum of special education dispute resolution options, including innovative approaches to prevention and early resolution. • aware of skills required to promote positive parent-professional relationships and increase productive communication. • familiar with CADRE, The National Center on Appropriate Dispute Resolution in Special Education.

9. Assumptions… • Conflict is a healthy reflection of a diverse and changing society • Most parent/school relationships are or can be positive and mutually respectful • Skills can be acquired and strategies implemented that facilitate productive relationships • Culture influences an individual’s perspective on conflict and how it’s most appropriately approached • Workshop participants are already skilled at communicating, negotiating and problem-solving

10. CONFLICT What does the word “conflict” bring to mind?

11. Two Definitions of Conflict Any situation in which people have apparently incompatible interests, goals, principles, or feelings . . . ~~~ • Expressed or repressed struggle • Two or more people • Interdependent relationship • Strong emotion • Perceived blockage of needs and/or values

12. When a conflict escalates, resolution becomes more difficult because: • Tactics go from heavy to light • Positions become more polarized and risk averse • Number of people involved expands • Issues expand • Specific issues move to general issues • Motivations change: Doing well  winning  hurting other D. Pruitt and S. H. Kim, Social Conflict (3rd ed. 2003).

13. Psychological changes occur in individuals • Ambiguous actions are seen as threatening • Inhibitions against retaliation diminish • Communication is reduced • Empathy is reduced • Zero-sum thinking increases (problem-solving won’t work)

14. Group dynamics reinforce conflict • More militant leadership emerges • Runaway norms are established • Contentious group goals dominate • Group cohesiveness increases

15. Communities become polarized • Neutral community members are recruited • Tendency to support the side that seems less blameworthy

16. Costs of Conflict • Financial costs • Educational costs: takes energy away from instruction, can interfere with needed consistency • Human costs: stress, burnout, marital discord • Relationships: hurts relationships among people who have to work together • Societal costs: parents, families, schools divided; bad press for special education; missed opportunities

17. Sources of Conflict Structure Data Relationships Values Interests

18. Personal Goals Relationship Goals The Five Conflict Handling Modes Controlling Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating Source: Thomas- Killman Conflict Mode Instrument

19. Personal Goals Relationship Goals Avoiding • What is it: • Sidestep, postpone, or withdraw • from the issue for the present • When to use it? • When potential harm outweighs • benefits to resolve • When time is needed to collect • information or cool down • What is it: • Sidestep, postpone, or withdraw from the issue for the present • When to use it? • When potential harm outweighs benefits to resolve • When time is needed to collect information or cool down

20. Personal Goals Relationship Goals Accommodating • What is it? • Sacrifice your own personal goals to satisfy the concerns of the other(s) • Yield to another point of view • When to use it? • When relationships are most important • Reach a quick, temporary solution

21. Personal Goals Relationship Goals Controlling • What is it? Pursue own ends without agreement of others Achieving one’s goals is paramount • When to use it? When unpopular actions must be implemented When dire consequences will be the result of inaction

22. Personal Goals Relationship Goals Compromising • What is it? • Quick, mutually acceptable alternatives • Both parties give up something • When to use it? • When two parties of equal power are strongly committed to mutually exclusive goals • To achieve temporary solutions to complex issues

23. Personal Goals Relationship Goals Collaborating • What is it? • Identifying concerns of each person and finding alternatives that meet both sets of needs • Finding a solution that fully satisfies needs and concerns of both people • When to use it? • When relationships & issues are both important • To gain commitment and acceptance for a high-quality decision

24. Personal Goals Relationship Goals The Five Conflict Handling Modes Collaborating Controlling Compromising Avoiding Accommodating Source: Thomas-Killman Conflict Mode Instrument

25. What are Your Values? Physical Challenge Personal Development Precision Work Pressure Power/Authority Quality Recognition Respect Reputation Security Spirituality Stability Status Time Freedom Tradition Trust Work Alone Work w/Others _____________ _____________ Achievement Advancement/Promotion Adventure Affiliation Balance Challenging Problems Change/Variety Close Relationships Community Competence Competition Cooperation Creativity Decisiveness Economic security Effectiveness Efficiency Ethical practice Excellence Excitement Fame Family Fast Pace Flexibility Freedom Friendship Fun Growth Health Helping Others High Earnings Integrity Independence Involvement/participation Job Tranquility Knowledge Loyalty Meaningful work Money Order (stability)

26. Pay Attention to Culture! Cultures have different ways of responding to conflict. Culture shapes status, relationships and social behaviors with regard to conflict resolution. Recognize that many people communicate and process information differently.

27. Listening

28. EARS The Chinese characters that make up the verb “to listen” tell us something about this skill.

29. Filtering Lenses Reflective Listening Communication Loop Sender Receiver Message

30. What Contributes to the Meaning of What We Hear? Intonation, Inflection, Volume, Speed, and Vocabulary =____% Appearance, Posture, Gestures, Clothing, Surroundings = ____% Verbal = ____% 38% 55% 7% From “Listening to People,” Harvard Business Review

31. Attending & Following Skills • Environment • Posture • Contact (distance, eyes, touch) • Acknowledgment Responses • Gestures • Door Opening Questions • Open-Ended Questions • Interested Silence

32. Responding Skills • Reflecting Feeling • Reflecting Content • Reflecting Meaning (linking feelings and content) • Validating • Empathizing • Clarifying • Summarizing

33. “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Stephen Covey, “Habit 5” Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

34. Listening to Understand Reflect Back: • Feeling • Content • Meaning-Values

35. Three-part Listening 1 speaker (1-2 minutes) 3 listeners: 1 listens for content (facts and thoughts) 1 listens for feelings (spoken/underlying) 1 listens for values All listeners paraphrase what they heard

36. Listening is a Disciplined Skill • You can’t do two things at once if one of them is listening well. • You can’t listen if you are trying to • figure out what to say. • You can’t listen if you are assuming.

37. “The most cost-effective component of a dispute resolution system is listening.” Mary Rowe MIT Ombuds & Scholar

38. Listening Video http://www.directionservice.org/cadre/Listening.cfm

40. Structure of Problem Solving Sharing Information Identifying Interests Generating Options Evaluating Potential Solutions Reaching Agreement

41. Positions & Interests http://www.directionservice.org/cadre/understanding_pos.cfm

42. Positions & Interests Position • Specific solution proposed to resolve problem - the “WHAT” Interest • Underlying real need or desire that gives a position its life (i.e., beliefs, expectations, values, fears, priorities, hopes, concerns) - the “WHY”

44. Finding the Interests • What need is the person taking this position attempting to satisfy? • What is motivating the person? • What is the person trying to accomplish? • What is the person afraid will happen if a demand is not fulfilled?

45. Questions to Elicit Interests • “What would having that do for you?” • “What would that mean to you?” • “What would be different if you had that?” • "Why is that solution so important for you?“ • “Why are you suggesting…?” • "What if that did/didn't happen?” • “How will you be affected by…?”

46. What are Possible Underlying Interests? • “It’s not appropriate to provide 30 minutes of speech therapy 5 days a week.” • “We [parents] want an American Sign Language interpreter in that English Lit class.” • “I demand an apology now!”

47. Power Imbalances Inherent in Conflict • Actual and perceived power may differ • Participants may not be equipped or supported to participate effectively • Cultural differences may contribute • Recognize there are formal and informal forms of power

48. Addressing Power Imbalances • Advocacy • Cultural Competence • Student Involvement • Well-facilitated processes and trained participants • Well-built relationships • Skilled neutral third party helpers

49. People Process Problem Facets of Conflict

50. Responding to High Energy People • Attending Strategies • Responding Strategies