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HOW SINGLE ADULTS CAN HELP BUILD THE CHURCH!. UNDERSTANDING THE REALITIES!. 44 % OF ADULTS ARE SINGLE (AGE 18+). Never Married 48.5 M 26.0% Divorced 20.0 M 10.7% Widowed 13.5 M 7.3% TOTAL 82.0 M 44.0% Separated 7.2 M 3.9% www.census.gov/prod/2001pubs/p20-537.pdf.
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HOW SINGLE ADULTS CAN HELP BUILD THE CHURCH! UNDERSTANDING THE REALITIES!
44 % OF ADULTS ARE SINGLE(AGE 18+) Never Married 48.5 M 26.0% Divorced 20.0 M 10.7% Widowed 13.5 M7.3% TOTAL 82.0 M 44.0% Separated 7.2 M 3.9% www.census.gov/prod/2001pubs/p20-537.pdf
Median Age at First Marriage Men Women 2000 27.1 25.4 1990 26.1 23.9 1980 24.7 22.0 1970 23.2 20.8 1960 22.8 20.3 www.census.gov/prod/2001pubs/p20-537.pdf
Growth of Single Person Households 1900 5% of all households 1960 13% of all households 2000 26% of all households Single Adult Ministry Journal-Issue 124, page 4- U.S Census Bureau 2001
HISPANIC SINGLE ADULTS • YEAR 1980 1990 1999 • MARRIED 66% 62% 59% • NOT MARRIED 24% 27% 29% • DIVORCED 6% 7% 8% • WIDOWED 4% 4% 4% -George Barna, Single Adults, Isaachar Resources, 2002, page 14.
MARRIAGE & MONEY • AGE WHITE HISPANIC BLACK 25-34 34% ? 49% • GROWTH-NEVER MARRIED 1980-2000 11% 21% 26% • HISPANIC ANNUAL AVERAGE INCOME -MARRIED ADULT - $35,000. -SINGLE ADULT - $16,805. -George Barna, Single Adults, Isaachar Resources, 2002, page 14, 19
Increasing Single-Parent Families 1970 1999 Increase Single-- Females 5.5 M 12.2 M 122% Males 1.2 M 3.2 M 163% Married-- Couples 44.7 M 53.7 M 20% Single Adult Ministry Journal-Issue 124, page 7 U. S. Census Bureau, 2000
Increasing % of Single Parents Percentage of Single Parent Families in the US: 1970 13.0% 1980 22.0% 1990 28.0% 2000 36.0% Single Adult Ministry Journal-Issue 113, page 1-Gary Sprague-Director, Kids Hope
CHILDREN LIVING WITH ONE PARENT • 38 % LIVE WITH A DIVORCED PARENT • 35 % WITH A NEVER-MARRIED PARENT • 19% WITH A SEPARATED PARENT • 4 % WITH A WIDOWED PARENT • 4 % WITH A PARENT WHOSE SPOUSE LIVED ELSWHERE DUE TO WORK/OTHER REASON • US Census Bureau; National Center For Health Statistics; March 1998 Supplement to Current Population Survey; Us Census Bureau Household & Family Characteristics, March 1998; Census Brief “Children with single parents-how they fare” September 1997.
Increasing Number of Divorced People # Adults 1960 3,920,000 1970 4,284,000 1980 9,896,000 1990 15,128,000 2000 20,200,000 Total overall increase since 1960 – 400 % U. S. Census Bureau, Internet-Jan. 2001
Higher Divorce Rates • Thirty years ago the divorce rate • was 35 of 1000 people • Today the rate is 250 of 1000 people • …25% of all adults! • … a 680 % increase! • George Barna, Unmarried America, page 22, “Family”-Barna Research Online-1999
Divorce/Remarriage • 43 percent of first marriages divorce 1 • 60 percent of remarriages with children divorce 1 • 65 percent of remarriages with children from a • prior marriage divorce 1 • 65 percent of simple stepfamilies (1 partner with a child) • divorce 2 • 70 percent of complex stepfamilies (both partners • have children) divorce 2 • 1 January 9, 2006, Newsweek, “The ‘Familymoon’” • 2 In her book For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered, Dr. Hetherington specifies the divorce rate for stepcouples to be “50 percent higher in remarriages with stepchildren” Specifically, then, the divorce rate is 65-70%. (p. 178).
THE CHURCH MUST REACH NEW TYPES OF “FAMILIES” • SINGLE PERSON FAMILY • SINGLE PARENT FAMILY • STEP PARENT FAMILY • BLENDED PARENT FAMILY • NUCLEAR FAMILY • EXPANDED FAMILY • GRANDPARENT FAMILY • UNMARRIED PARENT FAMILY • HOMOSEXUAL PARENT FAMILY • HOMOSEXUAL/HETEROSEXUAL PARENT FAMILY
DIVORCE IN THE US… • TOTAL # OF DIVORCED ADULTS… 1970: 4.3 million 2000: 20 million • MARRIED POPULATION… 1970: 72% 2000: 56% • 8 YEARS: AVERAGE DURATION OF 1ST MARRIAGE ENDING IN DIVORCE • 6 YEARS: AVERAGE DURATION OF 2ND MARRIAGE ENDING IN DIVORCE • Time Magazine, September 25, 2000 “Family” Barna Research Online, 1999
IN AMERICA 44% OF ALL ADULTS ARE SINGLE OR SINGLE-AGAIN!(AGE 18+) IN MOST A/G CHURCHES, 25-35% OF ALL ADULTS ARE SINGLE OR SINGLE-AGAIN! WHY DO OUR CHURCHES HAVE A SMALLER PERCENTAGE THAN SOCIETY HAS?
Could it be that?… Are not relevant to their needs? Are not praying for them Are not planning for them Are not programming for them? Are not realizing their potential contribution? Are not realizing an emphasis on “family church” may not relate to them?
THE NEEDS… CONSIDER THESE COMMENTS… “Out of the divorces, widowhood, the singles bars, clubs, apartment and condominiums, comes a torrent of need, and it is flowing right past the door of our churches...there is boundless talent and creativity in this flood of single adults. The church can help and it can also be helped. It can give and it can receive. OPPORTUNITY IS THERE! WHAT WILL WE DO?” -Edward & Gwen Weising, Authors of Singleness-An Opportunity for Growth and Fulfillment
A SURVEY OF SINGLENESS IN THE CHURCH • UNMARRIED SINGLE, SINGLE-AGAIN… ALL AGES…18-98 YRS. • NEVER MARRIED • FORMERLY MARRIED • WIDOWED • SINGLE PARENT • SEPARATED
SINGLENESS IN THE CHURCH • MARRIED NOW BUT WERE SINGLE-AGAIN DUE TO… • DEATH OF A MARRIAGE • DEATH OF A SPOUSE
SINGLENESS IN THE CHURCH • HAVE A RELATIVE WHO IS… • DIVORCED • WIDOWED • NOT MARRIED-18 YRS OR OLDER • SEPARATED
A Survey of Singleness If you are helping/workingin the Young Adult OR Single Adult Ministry, stay standing.
SINGLENESS IN THE CHURCH • HAVE CHILDREN/GRANDCHILDREN WHO ARE: • SINGLE-PARENT CHILDREN • STEP-PARENT CHILDREN • Children from one parent • BLENDED-PARENT CHILDREN • Children from both parents • EXPANDED-PARENT CHILDREN • Foster-Adopted etc. • GRANDPARENT CHILDREN • Raising grandchildren
SINGLE ADULTS CAN HELP BUILD THE CHURCH… BY ATTENDING… BUT WE MUST PROVIDE RELEVANT ENTRY POINTS FOR THEM!
Rearing kids alone Shared parenting Relating to my former spouse Managing sexuality as a single adult Financial issues as a single Building healthy relationships with same/opposite sex Relating to spouse during separation Forgiving my former spouse Contentment as a single adult Dating/dating again Divorce Recovery Grief Recovery Learning to trust again Loneliness and singleness Singleness in a family-oriented church Finding my career Pre-marital education Blending families Relating to married adults as a single adult Adjusting to widowhood Healthy step-parenting UNIQUE INTERESTS/NEEDS OF SINGLE ADULTSWHERE IN THE CHURCH ARE THESE ADDRESSED?
WHERE ARE THESE BEING ADDRESSED IN THE CHURCH TODAY? Sunday am service? Sunday pm service? Sunday adult classes? Mid-week adult classes? Any other time? WHERE ELSE WILL THEY RECEIVE A BIBLICAL PERSPECITVE ON THESE ISSUES?
SINGLE ADULTS CAN HELP BUILD THE CHURCH…NUMERICALLY! ASK LEADERS OF SINGLES AND MARRIEDS CLASSES… # OF VISITORS OUTSIDE THE CHURCH? # OF VISITORS INSIDE THE CHURCH? USUALLY 40-60% OF SUNDAY AM SERVICE VISITORS ARE SINGLE!
SINGLE ADULTS CAN HELP BUILD THE CHURCH… BY GIVING TITHES AND OFFERINGS!
FINANCIALLY WORTH KNOWING!… • NOT ALL SINGLE ADULTS ARE POOR! • FINANCIALLY DIVERSE GROUP… • Single parent below poverty-level line • Single adult making six-figure income • NO NEED TO CHECK WITH SPOUSE BEFORE GIVING! • GOD HAS ONLY ONE PERSON TO CONVINCE • TO TITHE! • TO GIVE TO A PROJECT! • TO GIVE TO MISSIONS!
FINANCIALLY WORTH KNOWING!… • TITHERS/GIVERS IN THIS CHURCH… • % OF ALL MARRIED ADULTS ? • % OF ALL SINGLE ADULTS? • SINGLE ADULTS USE ONLY ONE SEAT! • SINGLE-PARENT STORY… • PRINCIPLE OF SOWING AND REAPING… • Galations 6:7 “A person will reap what he sows.”
SINGLE ADULTS CAN HELP BUILD THE CHURCH… BY SERVING!
CONCERNING SERVICE… WORTH KNOWING… • I COR.7:32-35 PAUL SAYS FOR MINISTRY, SINGLENESS IS BETTER! • I COR. 7: 26-28 PAUL ENCOURAGES SINGLENESS! • PAUL WAS SINGLE AT THIS POINT! (was married before-had to be married to be a member of the Sanhedrin)
SINGLE ADULTS HAVE… • MORE FREEDOM TO MAKE DECISIONS • TO SERVE • TO LEAD • MORE FLEXIBILITY • SCHEDULE • TRAVEL • LIVING LOCATION • MORE TIME (except single parents)
CONSIDER THESE COMMENTS… “Every group in the church has unique needs and gifts...children, youth, men, women, marrieds etc. Because we have put emphasis on these groups for so long, we have inadvertently forgotten the singles and have led them to believe we don't expect them to be involved in ministry. The apostle Paul said that for ministry it is better to be single! (I Cor.7: 25-35) The purpose of ministry to singles is to help them see they ARE the church and to help them come to a place of ministry.” -David Reddout, Pastor, First Assembly of God--Leesville, LA-Adult Ministries Consultant, Assemblies of God Sunday School Department--1981-1985
PERSONAL BIASES? • SINGLES ARE NOT QUITE… • THE SAME AS MARRIEDS • AS MATURE AS MARRIEDS • AS SPIRITUAL AS MARRIEDS • AS QUALIFIED AS MARRIEDS • SINGLES ARE “DIFFERENT” • SINGLES ARE “INCOMPLETE”
PERSONAL BIASES? WHEN NOMINATING OR CHOOSING LEADERSHIP IN THE CHURCH FOR… • PASTORAL STAFF… • ELDERS… • DEACONS… • SMALL GROUP LEADERS… • ADULT CLASS TEACHERS… • Do you think of married adults first?…Why? • How many single adults fill these positions? • Does the % of single leaders equal the % of single adults in the church?
MARRIAGE DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON WHOLE OR MATURE! PEOPLE ARE WHOLE AND COMPLETE WHETHER MARRIED OR SINGLE! COL. 2:10 “YOU ARE COMPLETE IN HIM!”
SINGLE ADULTS CAN HELP BUILD THE CHURCH… BY BRINGING PEOPLE TO CHRIST!
SINGLE ADULTS SHARING CHRIST… • LOCAL OUTREACH EVENTS • FRIENDSHIP EVANGELISM • SHORT-TERM MISSIONS TRIPS • LONG-TERM MISSIONS TRIPS • IN MANY AREAS OF THE U.S. SINGLE ADULTS ARE SETTING THE PACE…
PEOPLE OF INFLUENCE • JOSEPH-Fled advances of Potiphar’s wife • LILLIAN TRASHER- Orphanage in Egypt • CORRIE TEN BOOM-Survivor of death camps • DIETRICH BONHOFFER-Writer/spiritual philosopher • GRIMKE SISTERS-First women to speak publicly against slavery in the south • MOTHER THERESA-Humanitarian
PEOPLE OF INFLUENCE • POPE JOHN PAUL II-Catholic spiritual leader • HENRIETTA MEARS-Gospel Light Publishing founder • EVANGELINE BOOTHE-Founder of the Salvation Army • CLARA BARTON-Founder of the Red Cross • APOSTLE PAUL-Greatest missionary/author • JESUS-Savior of the world • THEY WERE ALL SINGLE ADULTS!
THINK ABOUT IT… IN THE BEGINNING… • The first humans were created single (Gen. 2:7) IN THE END… • We will all be single-again in heaven (Matt. 22:30) IN BETWEEN… • God sent a single adult to save us (John 1:12)
THREE SINGLE ADULTS WHO CHANGED THE WORLD! OUR FAITH IS BASED UPON: • A Jewish single adult from Galilee • Whose ministry was preceded by a single adult named John the Baptist • And whose mission thrust was modeled by a single adult named Paul -Harold Ivan Smith