How to Disagree with and Correct A Brother

1. How to Disagree with and Correct A Brother

2. Introduction: • Disagreements are certain to arise between brethren. • We’re dealing with people (and their personalities) and this always provides the potential for disagreements and disputes.

3. The question of this lesson is how will we disagree and correct brethren? • Galatians 6:1 KJV 1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

4. James 5:19-20 KJV 19 Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him; 20 Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.

5. To stand up for what you believe takes courage and involves risks. • There are many loving and compassionate people who do not like confrontation - but they are willing to take the risk of being called names... of being falsely accused of being intolerant, or being labeled as judgmental.

6. First We Need To Know That We Are Not The First Ones To Experience This. • We have said, there have always been disagreements among brethren in the Lord. • Some of the disagreements have been minor and, for the most part, insignificant. Other disagreements have been major and very significant; in fact, some have been big ones.

7. Jesus taught us how to handle these disagreements between brethren. • Matthew 18:15-17 KJV 15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. 16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

8. Paul had a personal conflict with his working companion, Barnabas. • Acts 15:36-41 KJV 36 And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they do. 37 And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark. 38 But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work.

9. 39 And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus; 40 And Paul chose Silas, and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God. 41 And he went through Syria and Cilicia, confirming the churches.

10. D. Paul had a conflict with Peter • Galatians 2:11-13 KJV 11 But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed. 12 For before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles: but when they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision. 13 And the other Jews dissembled likewise with him; insomuch that Barnabas also was carried away with their dissimulation.

11. Suggestions To Follow In Resolving The Disagreements That Come Up. • Be firmly committed to maintaining peace. • Ephesians 4:3 KJV 3 Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. • Romans 12:18 KJV 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

12. Genesis 13:8-9 KJV 8 And Abram said unto Lot, Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and between my herdmen and thy herdmen; for we be brethren. 9 Is not the whole land before thee? separate thyself, I pray thee, from me: if thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou depart to the right hand, then I will go to the left.

13. Study the disagreement carefully! • Proverbs 18:13 KJV 13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.

14. Don’t become a false acuser! • Proverbs 6:19 KJV 19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

15. Pray for them and for yourself. • Colossians 1:9 KJV 9 For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding;

16. Maybe, we are talking about elders. • You do not find “good ol’ boy” listed as a qualification for elders in the New Testament, yet some men are chosen to be elders based on popularity. Choose men to serve as bishops based on man-made qualifications and you have a man-made eldership.

17. Take time to sit down with the one(s) involved in the situation and talk it over. • Matthew 5:23-24 KJV 23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; 24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

18. Matthew 18:15 KJV 15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

19. Consider the other individual(s) as honest souls who are trying to do what is right. • 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 KJV 4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

20. I cannot stress enough that “Love” for the individual not the sin comes first. • Realize that no one has all the best answers.

21. 1 Peter 5:5-6 KJV 5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. 6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:

22. James 3:17 KJV 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.

23. Nothing wrong with seeking the input of other faithful Christians. • Sometimes others, who are not so “close to a situation can offer a objective opinion that will be most helpful.

24. Proverbs 11:14 KJV 14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety. • Proverbs 12:15 KJV 15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.

25. Resist the temptation to become bitter or resentful. • James 5:9 KJV 9 Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door.

26. Ephesians 4:31-32 KJV 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

27. Remember, Proper Respect For All Men • Matthew 18:10-14 KJV 10 Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven. 11 For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost. 12 How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?

28. 13 And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray. 14 Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.

29. Galatians 2:20 KJV 20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

30. 2 Corinthians 5:10 KJV 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.

31. CONCLUSION: • Disagreements are certain to arise. • Be ready to “fight the good fight of faith,” to “lay hold on eternal life,” (I Timothy 6:12). • We must “mark them which cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine…and avoid them,” (Romans 16:17).

32. Again, how we deal with them will show how committed we are to the Lord and to the progress of His kingdom. • It is always sad and difficult for everyone when brethren have conflicts and it is a great hindrance to the Lord’s work.

33. Be ready to change when we discover that we are wrong! • Whenever disagreements arise between brethren, we can bring joy back to the congregation by respecting these principles taught in God’s word.

34. What Must I Do?