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Attraction & Close Relationships: Lecture #10 topics . The initial attraction familiarity, physical attraction, mate selection Close relationships types of relationships, types of love (bleh). The initial attraction . BUILDING FAMILIARITY the _______ effect
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Attraction & Close Relationships:Lecture #10 topics • The initial attraction • familiarity, physical attraction, mate selection • Close relationships • types of relationships, types of love (bleh)
The initial attraction BUILDING FAMILIARITY • the _______ effect • we’re more likely to befriend, date, & marry people who live close to us • the _______ _______ effect • the more often we’re exposed to something, the more _______ we evaluate it • occurs with novel stimuli (e.g., foreign words, faces)
The initial attraction PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS The Dove Campaign for Beauty
The initial attraction PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS • we’re biased toward the beautiful: • attractive students are perceived to be smarter & more likely to succeed in school • Texan judges give lower fines to attractive criminals • beautiful people get paid higher wages
The initial attraction WHAT IS “BEAUTY”?
The initial attraction WHAT IS “BEAUTY”?
The initial attraction WHAT IS “BEAUTY”?
The initial attraction IS BEAUTY OBJECTIVE? • high _______ _______ on ratings of attractiveness: • universally, men prefer “_______” physique in women; women prefer _______ men with “_______” shape • _______ is beautiful: • _______ faces are attractive because they’re _______ • we seek facial _______ (sign of fitness & fertility)
The real Shannen The initial attraction Shannen Doherty: An example of facial symmetry Shannen, digitally enhanced
The initial attraction IS BEAUTY OBJECTIVE? • babies prefer _______ faces: • stare _______ at faces rated by adults as being attractive
The initial attraction IS BEAUTY SUBJECTIVE? • _______ _______ in body adornment: • scarification, piercing, tooth filing, tattooing are not practised universally • we have different _______ body sizes: • where food is scarce, _______ women are more attractive • beauty _______ change over time: • models today are _______ than before
Eva Herzigova, 2001 35-23-35 (5’11”) The initial attraction Marilyn Monroe, 1953 35-22-35 (5’5”)
The initial attraction IS BEAUTY SUBJECTIVE? • judgments of beauty change with the _______: • people become more beautiful if we _______ them • men see their wives as _______ attractive after viewing _______ models • we feel less attractive after viewing models
The initial attraction WHY ARE WE BLINDED BY BEAUTY? • beautiful people are _______ pleasing • ______________ stereotype • the belief that attractive people also have other _______ qualities • attractive people do have more friends & better social skills but don’t score higher on _______ tests of intelligence, personality, or self-esteem
The initial attraction we like others who like us: • _______ • when someone likes us, we’ll tend to like them back • sometimes, we like people more if we have to _______ their affection we like people who are “_______”: • social _______ • e.g., “The Rules”: men are more charmed by hard-to-get women
The initial attraction _______ • when your parents forbid you to date Bill, you _______ your freedom to date who you want • consequence: you want to date Bill even more
The initial attraction MATE SELECTION Buss (2003): • women seek _______, _______ stable men • women are _______ in # of offspring they can have; thus, they seek men with _______ to support their offspring • men seek _______, _______, _______ women • although sperm is cheap, men are restricted by their ability to attract fertile partners & to ensure _______ of offspring
Marriage #1 Marriage #2 Marriage #3 Age difference: 3 years Age difference: 17 years Age difference: 28 years The initial attraction
Close relationships ATTACHMENT STYLES • _______ attached babies • _______ when Mom leaves; _______ when she returns • _______ attached babies • _______: cry when Mom leaves; mad when she returns • _______: no reaction when Mom leaves/ returns • _______ attachment styles influence our _______ romantic attachment styles
Close relationships Description Attachment Style % of population I find it relatively easy to get close to others & am comfortable depending on them & having them depend on me. I don’t often worry about getting abandoned/ about someone getting to close to me.
Close relationships Description Attachment Style % of population I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely & to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, & often, love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being.
Close relationships Description Attachment Style % of population I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me/ won’t want to stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, & this desire sometimes scares people away.
Close relationships SECURE AVOIDANT ANXIOUS
Close relationships LEE (1988): Different love styles • _______ love styles • _______(erotic love) • _______(game-playing, uncommitted love) • _______(friendship love) • _______ love styles • _______(demanding, possessive love) • _______(practical love) • _______(other-oriented, altruistic love)
Close relationships STERNBERG (1986): Triangular theory of love 3 components to love: • _______ • _______ component; liking & feelings of closeness • _______ • _______ component; attraction, romance, sexual desire • _______ • _______ component; decision to commit to long-term partner
INTIMACY Liking (intimacy alone) Romantic Love (intimacy + passion) Companionate Love (intimacy + commitment) CONSUMMATE LOVE (intimacy + passion + commitment) PASSION COMMITMENT Infatuation (passion alone) Empty Love (commitment alone) Fatuous Love (passion + commitment) Close relationships
Close relationships HATFIELD (1988) _______ love: • intensely _______; complete absorption in one’s partner • according to Schachter’s ______________, passionate love requires: • _______ arousal • belief that _______ triggered this arousal • e.g., Dutton & Aron’s (1974) “Capilano bridge” study
Close relationships HATFIELD (1988) companionate love: • less intense • more _______ • _______, longer lasting • built on _______, caring, & long-term _______ • _______ over time