Islamic Etiquette of consoling the bereaved

1. Islamic Etiquette of consoling the bereaved March 15, 2007 Safar 25, 1428 Husseini Islamic Center, FL

2. Holy Qur’an 37:103 - 111 • فَلَمَّا أَسْلَمَا وَتَلَّهُ لِلْجَبِينِ * وَنَادَيْنَاهُ أَنْ يَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ * قَدْ صَدَّقْتَ الرُّؤْيَا إِنَّا كَذَلِكَ نَجْزِي الْمُحْسِنِينَ * إِنَّ هَذَا لَهُوَ الْبَلَاء الْمُبِينُ * وَفَدَيْنَاهُ بِذِبْحٍ عَظِيمٍ * وَتَرَكْنَا عَلَيْهِ فِي الْآخِرِينَ * سَلَامٌ عَلَى إِبْرَاهِيمَ * كَذَلِكَ نَجْزِي الْمُحْسِنِينَ * إِنَّهُ مِنْ عِبَادِنَا الْمُؤْمِنِينَ

3. Translation 37: 103 -111 • 103 So when they had both submitted [to God’s will], and he had laid him down on his forehead, 104 We called out to him, ‘O Abraham! 105 You have indeed fulfilled the vision! Thus indeed do We reward the virtuous! 106 This was indeed a manifest test.’ 107 Then We ransomed him with a great sacrifice, 108 and left for him a good name in posterity: 109 ‘Peace be to Abraham!’ 110 Thus do We reward the virtuous. 111 He is indeed one of Our faithful servants.

4. General rules • The Kin of the deceased are consoled • It is essential that the duty is observed and not ignored • Consoling for three days is sunnah • Nothing can heal the loss; but consolation helps to an extent • Reward of consoling is abundant

5. Reward of Consolation • عن أبي عبدالله (ع)، عن آبائه (عل) قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: من عزى حزينا كسي في الموقف حِلَّة يحبُر بها • As-Sadiq (a): He who consoles a grieved one will be dressed at the stopping place [on the Day of Judgment] such that he will be proud of it(As-Saduq, Muqni fil-fiqh) • Holy Prophet (s): Consoling a bereaved brother results in [getting] Paradise (As-Saduq, Al-Hidayah bil-Khayr)

6. Feeding for three days • It is sunnah that the bereaved are fed for three days because of their preoccupation with the death [of the deceased]. (Fiqh ar-Ridha) • Doing so is both rewarding and following on a sunnah established by the Prophet when he consoled the family of Ja`far b. Abi Talib (Ibn Idrees, As-Saraair) • Can be done by GKDC or mu’mineen

7. When to console? • Only after the death, for it is makrooh to talk or do things that suggest the person will die soon, esp. in front of the sick • Permissible before and after the burial, though the later is better • Attending a death ceremony is part of consolation. If you do not say anything it suffices, though better to combine both

8. How to console? • May Allah inspire patience in you and reward you [for your steadfastness]. May He amplify for you the reward, have mercy on the deceased and make best, the condition of the one who succeeds him • May Allah grant you the best of consolation, fortify your heart to remain patient, and not to deprive you of the reward • Simply say AJARAKALLAH

9. Consoling an orphan • The Prophet (s): He who rubs (masaha) his hand over the head of an orphan, having mercy over him, Allah will write for him for every hair his hand passes over, a good deed (Fiqh ar-Ridha) • As-Sadiq . . . Allah will grant light (noor) for every hair on the Day of Judgement. • When an orphan cries the `arsh shakes

10. Miscellaneous • Do not console those gone astray from the true path • For unbelievers, console if for masliha of the ummah • Pray for their patience, not reward • Praying of the long life of a unbeliever is permissible