HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR LONELINESS: HOW LIFE COACHING WILL HELP YOU

1. HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR LONELINESS: HOW LIFE COACHING WILL HELP YOU

2. "Lonely, I'm Mr. lonely; I have nobody, for my own." Says Akon in his song- Lonely. Well, many come up in my mind as I hear the word, loneliness such as the 'The lonely' by Christina Perri, and not forgetting one of the favorites, 'Scared to be lonely' by Dua Lipa and Martin Garrix. We've heard the word loneliness around us so much yet most of us do not comprehend the actual sense of the word. We've seen and heard as well as used the word ourselves in a very casual way that we've never really sort of identified with the literal sense of it. Researchers define loneliness as - " Perceived social isolation, a feeling of not having the social contacts one would like." This feeling of loneliness can be felt anytime, anywhere, by anyone. There's no particular finding that suggests that this emotion is subjected to certain conditions. Well, there's an error that pops up when talking about this concept- trading the word aloneness for loneliness or seclusion for loneliness. That's a blunder! I must clear the confusion between the three.

3. So, being alone is markedly different from being lonely. "Alone" defines the circumstance of not having someone around while lonely is an emotion that one feels because of not having someone or sometimes, even in the presence of a large mass of people, one can feel lonely deep inside. Seclusion, on one hand, is a state in which an individual engages with himself constructively, carries out introspection of self, and gains a perspective of life. On the other hand, loneliness feels like a void, bewildered state leading to distress. It doesn't sum up here. The very renowned website- Psychology Today affirms 7 types of loneliness! Now, who would've contemplated that the word we've been using for years so casually has such a deeper meaning? Well, moving on, let me state these 7 types below: New-situation loneliness I'm-different loneliness No sweetheart loneliness No animal loneliness No-time-for-me loneliness Untrustworthy- friends loneliness Quiet- presence loneliness

4. Our need to associate is intrinsic, the vast majority of us frequently feel desolate. We, humans, are social animals and this innate urge to be surrounded by other humans is not uncommon. Chronic loneliness can be fatal! Loneliness affects our physique adversely. Studies suggest that an estimated 40% of us will feel hurtful pangs of loneliness at some point in our lives. Loneliness leads to disconnection and isolation from society. Some may feel that the feeling depends on the relationships that we have, our friends, family, etc. But, in actuality, loneliness nowhere depends on these superficial factors. It's deeper than we can contemplate, more subjective than our idea of objectivity. Even the "right" partner can't get you out of loneliness. An estimated 60% of lonesome people are married according to studies. We might visualize loneliness as a person in an obscure room. But that's not the real picture. A person among a crowd of hundreds standing in a music concert can feel empty; an individual residing with a big joint family can feel the void deep inside; anyone hanging out with several friends might feel the deep fatal sorrow of loneliness as the life coaches in India comprehend it.

5. ●Lifestyle differences: People residing in urban areas are more prone to being lonely as compared to the ones in rural areas. Social interaction is lessened in urban areas whereas, in rural ones, people make more meaningful and deep connections with others around them. Similarly, juxtaposing other lifestyles based on different factors will give us the same results as one being more prone than the other. What causes loneliness? Now after meticulously knowing what loneliness is, how it feels, we seek to find the causes of the very distressful feeling. ●Social media: Now this is one major source of emergence of the feeling of loneliness. Feeling empty and lonely can be attributed to being online for longer times for several reasons including cyberbullying, threat messages, the need for attention that is suppressed by chatting online, the subconscious need of human interaction not being fulfilled because of replacement by social media. To mention a few, I have listed some causes that I believe might lead the pathway to the "lonely" destination.

6. W h a t c a u s e s l o n e l i n e s s ? ●Learned helplessness: This a concept in psychology that states that if a person has long been in an uncontrollable situation negatively affecting him/ her, they project it by doing nothing to change the forthcoming situations. A person might feel that he is not worthy of anyone's attention and that he can't do anything about it and won't try even a bit to change the circumstances. In such cases, the person indulges in the act of catastrophizing the situation. ●Youngsters have rescinded learning new skills and adopting new hobbies. This leads to feeling empty leading to loneliness. The various life coaches in India talk about this negligence of youngsters as they consider the youth as the most imminent population out of all.

7. Life coaches in India are quite in the spotlight nowadays. They are considered to be of imminent benefit to the public after all they guide us through the difficulties of our lives. Loneliness is one such phenomenon that these life coaches in India have talked about a lot. They are cynosure to our dilapidated sense of perception of lives. How life coaches can help you fight loneliness? Life coaches in India such a Guru Gaur Das talks about loneliness and its effects on ourselves. They understand the austerity of the feeling and guide us our way out towards prosperity and happiness. Here's how they sum up the intervention for loneliness: Life coaches in India apprise us to put ourselves first. We must create a new real persona of ourselves keeping in mind that this is not going to happen all of a sudden in a gist but is a slow process and we should gradually work towards it with patience.

8. ●Ask for help: it's been taught to us since childhood that if we are stuck in an uncontrollable, difficult situation, we should resurrect the flag up and ask for help. But it seems that as we grow, these basic learnings of life go in the trash. Seems like our ego predominates our need to surrender to the negative situation. The life coach tells us to be careful with our ego. ●Self- love: practicing self-love is one necessity to get back the self-esteem that degrades due to loneliness. Seek deeper answers: Rather than looking for materialistic answers, seek deeper answers to the questions arising about loneliness. Seek answers to the "why" question. Loneliness leads to cognitive distortions so the significant questions must be answered with deep introspection. ●Learn to enjoy your company: well, here we should learn a skill or two from the introverts. Life coaches put significant pressure on learning new skills and adopting new hobbies as they never go in vain and help you fight loneliness.

9. ●Break from social media: social media is one platform that posses a great threat to a lot of aspects of life. As I mentioned earlier, it is a major cause of the deep subconscious feeling of loneliness in today's time. Take a break from it, move out, try out new things, eat, paint, travel, do anything you like instead. ●Prosocial behavior: it is suggested that engaging ourselves in altruistic acts helps us in eradicating the deep subconscious loneliness and improves our self- perception, and self- esteem. ●Other behaviors that the life coaches in India suggest include valuing our relationships with others, making yourself feel worthy of others' attention, going out, having a good diet, following a disciplined routine, etc.