PATHOLOGICAL GAMBLING - ANTISPIRITUALITY

1. PATHOLOGICAL GAMBLING - ANTISPIRITUALITY November 10 (Reno) and 12 (Las Vegas), 2009 Lynnette Stilley, MFT, LADC, CPGC-S Comprehensive Therapy Centers, Las Vegas, NV lynnsctc@yahoo.com

2. Agenda • Scheduling 8:30 AM – 4:15 PM • Lunch 11:45 – 1 PM • Breaks 10 AM and 3 PM • Locations • Order of Materials • 8:30 –10 AM Pathological Gambling 101 • 10 AM on – Spirituality and Pathological Gambling

3. Outline • Pathological Gambling “101” • Spirituality and Pathological Gambling • Definitions • Importance of spirituality • Lack of spirituality • Causes • Characteristics • Gamblers’ magical thinking

4. Outline, cont. • Spirituality and Pathological Gambling D. Why talk about spirituality? • Values (examples) • Gambling and spirituality E. Why don’t we talk about spirituality? F. Treatment implications • Our new role • Assessment • Goals • Signs of achievement

5. Definitions GAMBLING: “. . .any betting or wagering, for self or others, whether for money or not, no matter how slight or insignificant, where the outcome is uncertain or depends upon chance or “skill” constitutes gambling.” Source: Gamblers Anonymous OR: • Players wager money or object of value • Bet is irreversible once placed • The game’s outcome relies on chance

6. Definitions, cont. PROBLEM GAMBLING: “. . .any involvement in risky gambling behaviors that adversely affects the individual’s well being – this may include issues of relationships, family, financial standing, social matters and vocational pursuits.” Source: Arizona Council on Compulsive Gambling, 1995

7. Definitions, cont. COMPULSIVE (PATHOLOGICAL) GAMBLING “. . .a chronic and progressive disorder in which the individual is preoccupied with gambling and the urge to gamble to the extent that the gambling behavior compromises, disrupts or damages personal, family and vocational pursuits.” Source: Dr. Robert Custer, M.D., 1989 OR Chronic and progressive failure to resist the impulse to gamble and such gambling behavior compromises, disrupts or damages personal, family and vocational pursuits.

8. Diagnostic Criteria (DSM IV) A. Persistent and Recurrent Maladaptive Behavior (5+) 1. Preoccupation 2. Increasing bets 3. Unable to control, cut back or stop 4. Restless when cutting down or stopping 5. Escape from problems 6. “Chasing” to get even 7. Lies 8. Illegal acts 9. Jeopardize relationships, job, career, education 10. “Bail outs” from others B. Gambling behavior not accounted for by Manic Episode

9. Types of gamblers • Professional • Antisocial (criminal) • Casual Social • Serious Social • Problem • Pathological (compulsive)

10. Consequences of problem gambling Emotional - depression, anxiety & stress Financial - credit/personal debt, property loss Personal - neglect, lying, arguments, abuse Employment - lost productivity, absenteeism Legal - bad checks, embezzlement, robbery, insurance fraud Spiritual

11. Phases of compulsive gambling

12. Spirituality

13. Definitions • “Of the spirit” – “Inspiring principle or dominant influence; soul; nature of a person, disposition, attitude; essence or real meaning…” Webster’s • “The word spiritual can be said to describe those characteristics of the human mind that represent the highest and finest qualities, such as kindness, generosity, honesty, and humility”. GA, Combo Book, Page 1

14. Definition, cont. • Not so official: • That which gives meaning, connectedness, serenity and purpose to life • Integrity of thoughts, emotions and behaviors; the whole, not the separate parts, of a person. • Being a positive, creative being. • The motivational and emotional source of the human search for meaning.

15. Definition, cont. • Leads to enhanced feelings of well being, inner peace and life satisfaction. • Our ability to relate to others, to ourselves and to God – as we understand Him/Her. Gamblers Anonymous, A Day at a Time • Long-term versus short term emphasis, “seeing the bigger picture”, getting perspective.

16. The importance of spirituality Spirituality is: • Part of who we are • A protective factor • An enhancer of well being • Principle utilized by thousands of people recovering from addictions

17. Causes of lack of spirituality • Spiritual abuse • Crisis of faith / conflicts in belief system • Limited spiritual experience • Disconnected from / conflicts with significant others

18. Common characteristics when spirituality is lacking • Rage at or fear of God • Loss of meaning of life • Overly rigid or underdeveloped conscience • Hopelessness • “Faith” vs ‘Luck’ attitude (Magical Thinking)

19. Common characteristics when spirituality is lacking, cont. • Guilt and shame • Guilt: I did something bad. “I gambled far more than I wanted to, and that action was ‘bad’.” • Shame: I did something bad, therefore I’M bad. “I gambled far more than I wanted to, and that was “bad”. Therefore I am bad. I am a compulsive gambler and will always gamble far more than I want to. I might as well not even fight these cravings, because there is no hope I can change – besides, haven’t I tried in the past?”

20. Magical thinkingof the problem gambler • Superstitions and rituals • Systems • Personification of gambling device • Near-Miss Belief • Hot / Cold Machines • Chasing Beliefs • Ability to influence the outcome

21. Why talk about spirituality to clients? • A disaster such as what has just happened to them can actually be a time of great opportunity; it can be a time, with the help of a support system, in which they can re-value their life. They can consciously adopt the beliefs that they want to believe. For instance, humility: one of the lessons to be learned from this disaster is that they are human: pretty special, but not the biggest, smartest or best thing in the universe! There IS something “bigger than you or I”. What they call that is entirely up to them. Many people call it “God” or “Higher Power”, but they can call it “tennis shoe” or “rock”, “this group” or “GA” or “wisdom” if they want. Lynn

22. Examples • Humility: one of the lessons to be learned from this disaster is that they are human: pretty special, but not the biggest, smartest or best thing in the universe! There IS something “bigger than you or I”. What they call that is entirely up to them. Many people call it “God” or “Higher Power”, but they can call it “tennis shoe” or “rock”, “this group” or “GA” or “wisdom” if they want.   Lynn

23. Examples • Tolerance and acceptance: These may be necessary as clients participate in a support system. As GA says, “Principles, not personalities”! Knowing what it is that they need and getting it from their support group is necessary for recovery, but so is being realistic. This takes walking the fine line of not ignoring messages they don’t want to hear, but also not giving too much authority to what any one person says. Lynn

25. Why don’t we want to talk about spirituality to clients? Spirituality vs. Religion • This is the issue that makes most counselors avoid the whole issue! • “Religion is for those who don’t want to go to hell; spirituality is for those who have already been there.” Anon • Therefore, know: • You CANNOT avoid it! It must be included in goals and treatment planning, especially in referrals to spiritual advisors and leaders • Know your religious beliefs and keep your boundaries: do NOT impose your beliefs on others!! • Redefining the word God/Higher Power may help, I.e., “Good Orderly Direction”, the program, doing the next right thing, etc.

26. Spirituality and problem gambling • To a gambler: • Meaning and purpose come from winning • Luck and Chance are their Higher Power • Winning is a proof of spiritual worth • Winning defeats God, or an oppressive belief system • Gambling provides an escape from grief and despair or an oppressive belief system

27. Problem gambling vs. spirituality PROBLEM GAMBLER SPIRITUALITY EGO – edging God out – the source POWER greater than of belief is in the self self SEPARATENESS – not being a BELONGING – part of being a part of DISCONNECTED – from self, CONNECTION – to others, community, universe self, others, community, universe FANTASY and illusion TRUTH - reality about who you really are EMPTINESS – needing more FULFILLMENT

28. Problem gambling vs. spirituality PROBLEM GAMBLER SPIRITUALITY SHAMEFUL WORTHY SECRETIVE HONEST SCARCITY ABUNDANCE ATTACK & DEFEND FORGIVING & HEALING HIDDEN OPEN ARROGANCE HUMILITY FEAR LOVE

29. EVERYONE has spirituality. Gamblers did, even when they were gambling, and perhaps gambling WAS their spirituality – it served to provide meaning to their life, provided a connection to SOMEthing, and was the framework for making decisions about their life. However, it was a harmful spirituality, and now they may want to choose something more healthy. Gambling was about randomness and chaos, not meaning and purpose; about competition against a higher system; about control, not acceptance of one’s real place in the universe – as an important but not all-important part of it. It led to isolation, alienation, and behaviors that were the direct opposite of what they had valued in the past. Lynn

30. Treatment implications

31. Our New Role • Encourager: • Encourage the client to take action, utilize the 12-Steps • Director: • Direct client towards need for spiritual awareness • Guide: • Pointing out alternate routes, hazards to avoid, milestones and guideposts • Healer: • Provide a safe environment for healing, growing, balancing

32. Assessing spiritual coping styles • Deferring – passive, “God will handle it” • Pleading – bargaining, “If only____, I promise I’ll_________” • Self-directing – active, handle it without God • Collaborative – active partner with God

33. Spiritual goals • Develop helpful spiritual beliefs • Connect to faith community • Find a spiritual advisor: pastor, priest, rabbi • Devotional / scripture reading • Developing helpful faith rituals and practices • Connecting with family and friends • Doing a life review

34. Spiritual goals, cont. • Pray • Meditate • Listen to music • Get out in nature • Find/make a sacred space • Find a sense of peace • Use humor / laughter

35. Spiritual goals, cont. • Find value in all situations • View self in relation to a higher purpose • Seek God - not play God • Let go of expectations • Experience ‘the moment’ • Feel gratitude

36. Spiritual goals, cont. Most (?) important: • A SPIRITUAL SUPPORT SYSTEM Everyone grew up with some sort of spirituality in their childhood support system. They may decide to return to that belief system, or they may need to learn about and adopt another one, or they may need to revise some of either of those choices. Lynn

37. Spiritual goals, cont. • A SPIRITUAL SUPPORT SYSTEM, cont. How do we do so, however? WITH THE HELP OF SPIRITUAL PEOPLE that we respect. These are people that seem to have some purpose and meaning in life, that are not egotistical (think they are a higher power!) nor a doormat (think they don’t deserve a higher power or place in the universe), are connected to others, and have a conscious set of beliefs and values. Lynn

38. Spiritual goals: AA promises “If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. • We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. • We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. •  We will comprehend the word serenity and •  We will know peace.

39. Spiritual goals: AA promises, cont. • No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. •  That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. •  We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. •  Self-seeking will slip away. •  Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

40. Spiritual goals: AA promises, cont. • Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. •  We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us. •  We will suddenly realize that [God] is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us – sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.” AA Big Book

41. Signs of Awakening/Protective Factors against Relapse • Finding value/fulfillment in any situation • View self in relation to a higher purpose, a sense of belonging and connection • Seek God, not play God • Let go of inappropriate expectations and see truth/reality • Be able to experience the moment • Feel gratitude and self-worth

42. THE SERENITY PRAYER GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY… • Serenity means that I no longer recoil from the past, live in jeopardy because of my behavior now, or worry about the unknown future. I seek regular times to re-create myself and I avoid those times of depletion which make me vulnerable to despair and to old self-destructive patterns.

43. THE SERENITY PRAYER, cont. TO ACCEPT THE THINGS THAT I CANNOT CHANGE… • Accepting change means that I do not cause suffering for myself by clinging to that which no longer exists. All that I can count on is that nothing will be stable – except how I respond to the transforming cycles in my life of birth, growth and death.

44. THE SERENITY PRAYER, cont. THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN… • Which means remembering that to give up my attempts to control outcomes does not require I give up my boundaries or my best efforts. It does mean my most honest appraisal of the limits of what I can do.

45. THE SERENITY PRAYER, cont. AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. • Wisdom becomes the never forgotten recognition of all those times when it seemed there was no way out, and new paths opened up like miracles in my life. • Source: A Gentle Path Through the Twelve Steps, Patrick Carnes, CompCare Publishers, 1989.