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Not Just Changing Behavior Changing Identity

Not Just Changing Behavior Changing Identity. Changing the Way We Define Ourselves – and Others Define Us. Marshall Goldsmith Marshall@MarshallGoldsmith.com www.MarshallGoldsmithLibrary.com. Goals for Today. Understand where our identity comes from.

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Not Just Changing Behavior Changing Identity

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  1. Not Just Changing BehaviorChanging Identity Changing the Way We Define Ourselves – and Others Define Us Marshall Goldsmith Marshall@MarshallGoldsmith.com www.MarshallGoldsmithLibrary.com

  2. Goals for Today • Understand where our identity comes from. • Know how our identity impacts our behavior. • Learn how we can change the way we define ourselves. • Learn how we can change the way others define us.

  3. The sources of our identity • Past – future • Self – others • Remembered • Reflected • Programmed • Created

  4. Remembered identity • Self – past • How our memories lead to stereotyping – positive and negative • How an overall positive stereotype can lead to the glamorization of past dysfunctional behavior • How coaching can produce negative memories

  5. Reflected identity • Others - past • How feedback from others – direct and straightforward – or indirect and subtle – influences our identity • One problem with traditional feedback – negative identity formation • Why feedback about the performance shouldn’t be ‘taken personally’ is a ridiculous statement for professionals • ‘Impressing others’

  6. Programmed identity • Others - future • It starts at birth • How self-fulfilling statements create identity • ‘No mechanical skills’ • How negative feedback can lead to negative programming

  7. Your parents programming • You are 8 years old • Your parents are talking about you • They don’t know it – but you can hear them • They are telling the truth • What words would describe that ‘little you’? • What words describe the ‘big you’ that is listening today? • How have these words impacted the person you are today?

  8. Created identity • Self - future • My dinner with Bono • How we can become the person that we choose to be • Limits on identity creation • Who is the ‘you’ that you would like to become? • How does that differ from the ‘you’ that is listening today? • How can you change negative aspects of your identity? • ‘The world’s expert in…”

  9. Feedforward vs. feedbackin changing identity • How coaching based upon feedback can reinforce negative identity formation • The danger with ‘personality testing’ • The danger with ‘building on your strengths’ • How feedforward can help create a positive change in identity • Remembered • Reflected • Programmed • Created

  10. Changing perceived identity • Changing behavior vs. changing perception • Why perception change is so difficult • Why follow-up is so critical in changing perception • In leadership what matters is ‘what they hear’ not ‘what you say’

  11. How self-stereotyping influences behavior • ‘That’s just the way I am!’ • An excessive ‘need to be me’ • Why can’t you…?

  12. Changing identity and remaining authentic • The ‘real me’ • The difference between being a professional - and being a phony • When coaching won’t help • Examples of great professionals who are always ‘on’ • Acting like you care – when you are bored to death • Does this mean I have to watch what I say and how I look in every meeting?

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