Feedback on Hurdle Task

1. Feedback on Hurdle Task 27/7/12

2. Sum up and where to? • It was early on, but the standard was medium at the highest. This shows a need for greater preparation and a better understanding of the text.

3. Read your feedback quickly and dot point summarise it now. Basically, everyone needs help with similar things but there are comments specifically for you on your work.

4. Take notes now

5. Topic Sentence • Try to focus on an idea. This is the idea you will attempt to prove in the paragraph. • Changez thinks he is a ‘New Yorker’. NO • Changez readily adopts the New York culture as his own. GOOD • Changez’s nostalgia has impacts on his identity. GOOD-THEME

6. Something really easy Rewrite the question at the top of your first page with lines above and below. This will help you maintain focus throughout the essay

7. Misconceptions Changez does not return to his ‘true identity’. Don’t simplify it. He was not a fundamentalist nationalist before he went to America. He was a young student, trying to succeed.

8. Interpretation • You need to demonstrate an interpretation of the text. • It is difficult to do this is you haven’t mentioned the author’s message or included any opinions about the characters.

9. Examples • Hamid attempts to portray the cultural conflict that was brought upon by 9/11. • Changez’s dominant voice in the novel, as well as his egoism, makes it difficult for the reader to sympathise with him. Hamid does not romanticise his character, which serves to make him more realistic and allow the audience to focus on the flaws in both sides of the conflict.

10. Misconceptions • When watching the September 11 attacks in Manilla, Changez is in a hotel room in Manilla. He smiles He doesn’t suddenly realise that he hates America, he doesn’t have an identity crisis

11. It’s not a simplistic tale • Changez doesn’t try to be an American, only to be stopped by the big nasty USA. • He doesn’t leave America simply because of racism. • Why else does he leave?

12. Your content!

13. The Question “I was never an American. I was immediately a New Yorker.” How is Changez’s sense of identity altered over the course of the novel? Places Culture People World events Nostalgia His struggle to determine his place in the world

14. Using the quote If there is a quote in the question then try to use all or part of it in your intro. If it doesn’t fit, then avoid it. You must use the quote as part of a detailed section within your essay. Where though?

15. Minor Characters • Try to show an understanding of the minor characters as well. • Erica- How could we include her in this topic? • Jim? • Chris?

16. Using a minor character Use the minor character – but sticking to the question.

17. Using a minor character while sticking to the question. Changez’s rumblings of nostalgia are brought to the forefront after America begins its invasion of Afghanistan. “It’s invasion by your countrymen caused me to tremble with fury”. His different identities come into direct conflict and he is unable to “focus on the fundamentals” any longer. Jim notes that Changez’s “Pakistani side” is “eating away” at him, and although he sympathises as a fellow “outsider”, he is unable to understand the inner turmoil that Changez is experiencing.

18. Janissaries Christian boys who were taken at a young age and trained to fight for the (Muslim) Ottoman Empire. They grew into fierce warriors who were loyal to their foreign masters.

19. Erica – The Allegory A lot of people included Erica What happens to her? That Changez pursues her in the same way he pursues America. His attempts at making love to her are symbolic of his failure. Only in the guise of someone else can he make love to Erica. Only in the guise of someone else can he be successful in America.

20. Allegory • A device in which characters or events represent ideas. • Eg. Erica missing Chris • Chris is the creative, kind, all- American boy who may resemble the ‘heart and soul’, the substance or hope that has been lost by America. • Erica is the fragile America- whose position in the world is changing.

21. What about the ending? • A lot of you missed this. Explain his final transition into a nationalist fundamentalist.

22. Fundamentalism • You must include a discussion of ‘fundamentalism’ in your essay. • Who does Changez become? • What is the author trying to communicate about fundamentalism and what leads people to this behaviour. • Not just Changez- Jim’s fundamentalism also

23. Who is Changez? – A final section. At the novel’s conclusion, Changez might now be comfortable with who he is, although readers are left unsure of his true involvement in the terrorist activities he so adamantly denies. Hamid warns us through Changez’s admonishment “You should not imagine that we Pakistanis are all potential terrorists”, which is the expectation many would have been led to. Certainly, the Changez who narrates the novel appears to be in control and in a reversal of the typical power dynamic, the American’s voice is never heard. With the waiter running towards them and the American reaching for something with a “glint of metal”, we are left to our own presumptions and prejudices to determine his ultimate identity and his fate.

24. Now • You have to rewrite the essay. Use: • Your essay with comments • Your notes from this PowerPoint • The help sheet with topic sentences if you need it • MrD’Aprano’sessay • Your own summaries and notes

25. Use this time or… • We will go back to our presentations. • If not, our presentation on the ending will be on Monday- Ella, Chris, Matt R., Phil and Dimi. • Tuesday we will discuss another topic. • Wednesday you will start writing on the topic in class (or receive another topic from me on the day if you are ahead)