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Dispute Resolution and Conflict Management. Human Capital Conference. Pete Swanson Carr Swanson & Randolph, LLC March 14, 2005. Learning Objectives. Identify how style impacts behaviors, Learn approaches for dealing with divergent styles.
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Dispute Resolution and Conflict Management Human Capital Conference Pete Swanson Carr Swanson & Randolph, LLC March 14, 2005
Learning Objectives Identify how style impacts behaviors, Learn approaches for dealing with divergent styles
When dealing with difficult behaviors, what is your role as a supervisor? • Traffic cop • Teacher • Counselor • Disciplinarian • Friend • Mentor • ??
People Maybe Options
TheTank TheSniper TheGrenade TheKnow-It-All TheThink-They-Know-It- All TheYesPerson TheMaybePerson TheNothingPerson TheNoPerson TheWhiner 10 Classic Problem Types Adapted from Dealing With People You Can’t Stand, Dr. Rick Brinkman & Dr. Rick Kirschner
From the Norm to the Extreme… Task Focus NormalZone Passive Aggressive People Focus
From Conflict to Cooperation Essential Skills • Neutralizing • Any action that neutralizes negative behavior in order to meet them where they are and move to common ground • Redirecting • Any behavior that changes the direction of an interaction. Neutralizing precedes redirecting.
Neutralizing • Neutralize with body and facial expressions • Neutralize vocally with volume and speed • Don’t Engage -- Probe! • Listen to understand -- it is not “mine or theirs” • Empathize • Backtrack • Clarify • Summarize what you’ve heard • Confirm to make sure you got it right
Redirecting • Identify positive intent • Their point is valid • Apply “Positive Intent” to… • Getting the job done • Getting the job done right • Getting along with others • Getting appreciation
Speak to be Understood • Assertion vs. Aggression -- monitor your tone of voice • State your intention • Tactfully control interruptions • Tell your truth • Use “I” language • Be specific about the problem behavior (impact) • Help them understand how their behavior is self defeating • Suggest new behaviors or options • Stay flexible --explore options -- question before defending • Reframe instead of rebut
Get What You Project and Expect • Raise your expectations of people to help them raise their expectations of themselves. • Acknowledge their effort • Be tough on bad behavior • Expect good behavior • Assume the best and give the benefit of the doubt • Appreciate constructive criticism • Don’t be defensive • Verbally appreciate the person providing the criticism • Redirect if necessary - focus on activities, not persons
Take responsibility -- know when it happens Tell people what is happening with you -- they will help Slow down! Acknowledge the negative chatter in your head -- it is not about you! Check your, and others, assumptions Emotionally Detach! Don’t identify with the situation or take it as an attack Choices for Defensive Behavior
Contact information Pete Swanson Pswanson@csradr.com 703.818.1740