HS 1000 human growth and Social Environment

HS 1000 human growth and Social Environment Lecture 11 – Death and dying 12/2013

(I) Theory of Death and Dying Theory of Death and Dying (Elisabeth Kubler-Ross) 1. Denial: resist the idea that they are going to die. 2. Anger: to express anger Angry at everyone, e.g. people who are in good health, their spouses, family members, who are caring for them, and their children Not easy to be around with people in this stage

(I) Theory of Death and Dying 3. Bargaining: try to negotiate their way out of death e.g. may promise that if they can just live long enough to see a son married they will willingly accept death later 4. Depression: overwhelmed with a deep sense of loss a. reactive depression: the feelings of sadness are based on events that have already occurred b. preparatory depression: feel sadness over future losses

(I) Theory of Death and Dying 5. Acceptance: fully aware that death is impending Unemotional and uncommunicative May wish to be left alone

(II) Bereavement and Grief Bereavement • That means the loss of someone to whom a person feels close and the process of adjusting to it, it can affect practically all aspects of a survivor’s life. • Bereavement often brings a change in status and role. It may have social and economic consequences – a loss of friends and sometimes of income. But first there is grief – the emotional respon experienced in the early phase of bereavement

(II) Bereavement and Grief Bereavement(喪親): acknowledgment of the objective fact that one has experienced a death Loss, due to death, of someone to whom one feels close and the process of adjustment to the loss. Grief(哀傷): the emotional response to one’s loss experienced in the early phases of bereavement. Consequences: Widowed people are particularly at risk of death. At particular risk are men and younger women.

(II) Bereavement and Grief • More likely to produce depression if one is already insecure, anxious, or fearful, less able to cope effectively • Highly dependent. • Lack social support. • Unable to make sense of the death or find meaning in it show less overall adjustment.

(III) The classic grief work model 1. Shock and disbelief Immediately following a death, survivors often feel lost and confused. An awareness of the loss sinks in the initial stage gives way to overwhelming feelings or sadness and frequent crying. This first state may last several weeks, especially after a sudden or unexpected death.

(III) The classic grief work model 2. Preoccupation with the memory of the dead person • In the second stage, which may last six months to two years or so, the survivor tries to come to terms with the death but cannot accept it. • From time to time, survivor may be sized by a feeling that the dead person is present.These experiences diminish with time, though they may recur on such occasions as the anniversary of the marriage or of the death.

(III) The classic grief work model 3. Resolution The final stage has arrived when the bereaved person renews interest in everyday activities. Memories of the dead person bring warm feelings associated with sadness, rather than sharp pain and longing. Grief Service Agency http://www2.hospicecare.org.hk/?lang=zh (善寧會) http://www.cccg.org.hk/zh-hant/node/128 (贐明會) http://www2.hospicecare.org.hk/wp-content/achv/tips/tips2c/2.pdf(哀傷理論) http://www2.hospicecare.org.hk/wp-content/achv/tips/tips2c/4.pdf(參考資料)

Attitudes about death and dying across the life span

(IV)Preventing suicide Suicide In most nations, suicide rates rise with age and are higher among men than among women, though more women consider or attempt suicide.

(V)Life Review Reviewing a life Life review can occur at any time. However, it may have special meaning in old age, when it can foster ego integrity – according to Erikson, the final critical task of the life span. People may look back over their accomplishment and failures and ask themselves what their lives have meant.

(V)Life Review • Life review therapy can help focus the natural process of life review and make it more conscious, purposeful, and efficient. • Methods often used for uncovering memories in life-review therapy including recording an autobiography (自傳); constructing a family tree, spending time with scrapbooks, photo albums, old letters and other memorabilia, making a trip back to scenes of childhood and young adulthood.

觀點與角度 有一天，一位大師叫小和尚到後園，吩咐他將盆栽修剪好。年紀輕輕的小和尚完成工作後，就去稟報師傅。大師到後園一看，就指責他將盆栽修剪得很難看。另一位老和尚看到，就對大師說：『其實也不是修剪得很難看，只是在你眼中的美，和他眼中的美不同。』

正反兩面的看法 有一個男人為了參加第二天的小學同學會，特地上街買一條新長褲。他回家穿上後，卻發覺長度多了十公分。於是請求媽媽替他改。媽媽說，身體不舒服，想早一點休息,今晚不想改。於是改請求太太替他改。太太說，還有許多家事要做，今晚沒有時間改。於是改請求女兒替他改。女兒說，今晚跟男朋友約好去跳舞，沒有時間改。他想想，既然如此，明天穿舊的長褲去同學會也可以！當天晚上，他媽媽心想：「兒子平時對我很孝順，他開口要求總不好拒絕他。」於是，起來替兒子改長褲，剪短了十公分。

他太太做完家事後心想：「老公平時很有耐心，今天他是不會縫針線才開口要求，總不好拒絕他。」於是替先生改長褲，剪短了十公分。他女兒晚上回來：「爸爸不阻止我去跳舞，實在是一個開明的老爸，今天實在應該替他修改長褲。」於是替爸爸改長褲，剪短了十公分。第二天早上，三個女人分別告訴男主人此事。他一試長褲，已經變成吊腳褲了。他的反應是................ 哈哈一笑，說：「我一定要穿去給同學看，告訴他們，我的媽媽、太太、和女兒對我多好。」結果，老同學們一致稱讚他的家庭經營得很成功。他的媽媽、太太、和女兒也都很高興。

何謂「感恩」? • 一種對人生抱感謝和欣賞的心理狀態

感恩的好處．．． • 感恩有助維持緊密的人際關係 • 更多助人行為和正面情緒 • 更少負面情緒（抑鬱、焦慮、妒忌） • 更少物質主義的態度和想法

正向心理學概念 • 可分3個向度 • 過去  感恩… • 現在  快樂… • 將來  樂觀…

正向心理學 • 心理學家沙尼文博士(Dr. Seligman)認為，一個人樂觀或悲觀，取決於三個歸因事情的思想層面，包括：恆久性、普遍性及個人性。

快樂並不在於有與非有 • 而是在於珍惜與知足 • 人生時時刻刻都是新的體驗 • 懂得體會當下的感受 • 原來，快樂就是那麼簡單

HumorousAttitude OptimisticThinking PositiveEmotion EnjoyableExperience

HS 1000 human growth and Social Environment