1 / 24

Adult Sexuality II

Adult Sexuality II. Divorce, ageing, androgyny, etc. Divorce. What happens when it’s not “ till death do us part”? Rates increased steadily, but have decreased since ’77 Drop due to cohabitation?. Now around half of all marriages end in divorce But 96% remarry!

astin
Download Presentation

Adult Sexuality II

An Image/Link below is provided (as is) to download presentation Download Policy: Content on the Website is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use and may not be sold / licensed / shared on other websites without getting consent from its author. Content is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use only. Download presentation by click this link. While downloading, if for some reason you are not able to download a presentation, the publisher may have deleted the file from their server. During download, if you can't get a presentation, the file might be deleted by the publisher.

E N D

Presentation Transcript

  1. Adult Sexuality II Divorce, ageing, androgyny, etc.

  2. Divorce • What happens when it’s not “till death do us part”? • Rates increased steadily, but have decreased since ’77 • Drop due to cohabitation?

  3. Now around half of all marriages end in divorce • But 96% remarry! • Is this a reflection of the belief that a good marriage is out there, somewhere?

  4. Why so high? • Because divorce is so easy? • Less stigma? • Kids marrying kids? • Unrealistically high expectations? • Women now have less $$ dependency?

  5. More Explanations • Couples with low levels of education • Women with high levels of education • The 4 year itch?

  6. More Finger Pointing • Divorced people pin the blame on: 1) Infidelity 2) A low quality relationship 3) Drinking, drugs, abuse, etc. • Women claim that the husband’s bad behavior did the trick. • Men don’t have a clue.

  7. The poor cite $$ woes. • The well-off point to poor communication, incompatibility and self-centeredness.

  8. A Tragic Legacy • More divorces leave more children raised in divorced homes and then they are more likely to get divorced.

  9. Adjusting to Divorce • Usually a big, multi-faceted loss • Similar to a loss from death • But there is no culturally accepted grieving process

  10. The Typical Sequence • Shock • Disorganization • Loneliness -- Anger • Acceptance? If not, • Counseling, and just maybe, • Personal Growth

  11. Dating – The Second Time Around • Difficult to start again • Lingering feelings limit intimacy • Some jump in too fast – “on the rebound” • Most active within a year • 80% remarry – most within 3 years

  12. Remarriage • Sadder but wiser? • No, second tries are even more likely to fail • Exception – marrying a high-school sweetheart • Otherwise, less tolerant? • Less intimidated by divorce?

  13. Aging and Sexuality • Things change for all of us • Some cope, some don’t • Many assume the worst • But for many, things improve

  14. Why are we so pessimistic? • The old sex is for procreation attitude? • Our culture-wide preoccupation with youth? • Is sex and the aged socially unacceptable? • Times are changing

  15. Divorce’s Impact on Women • Double standard • Just as important to feel attractive after a divorce • Does only youth=sexy? • While women are considered old, men are often considered more attractive

  16. More of the Double Standard • Older man -- Younger woman • But not a older woman and a younger man • But trends are changing • Susan Sontag’s empowering stance

  17. Sexual Activity • Despite perceptions, things don’t just stop • 50% over 60 are sexually active  they have relations at least once a month • While %s drop as the years roll on, many are active into their 80’s

  18. Who Remains Active? • Those who were always active • Those who worked at it • Those who retained their health • Those whose partner stayed healthy • Exercise and good diet certainly help

  19. Quality • With less demands on their time, the aged often enjoy sex more • There is often a greater emphasis on affection • Often enjoy an increase in intimacy • Even an expanded repertoire • After death or divorce, many find passion again

  20. Homosexual Adjustments • Typically fare well • Report satisfaction prefer same-age peers • Lesbians have more chances partners less likely to die physical attraction less of an issue

  21. Towards Androgyny • Common drift as we age • As Carl Yung envisioned? • Hormonal differences decline • So do gender-role limitations • Gains, not losses, are experienced as both sexes acquire characteristics associated with the other-sex

  22. Men become more sensitive • Women more assertive • We need life experience to truly know ourselves and then know our lovers • We find a passion fueled by maturity

  23. widowhood • Four widows for every widower • They encounter a small pool of potential partners • But still, the great majority fantasize about sex well into their 80’s • Grieving much different than post-divorce • Greater grief

  24. After a Partner Passes • Difficulty forming new relationships • But yet, 50% of widowers and 25% of widows remarry

More Related