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Lessons Learned from a 27 Year Recovery Walk. Michele Alexander Bibby. Who Am I. 51 year LWBIA 27 years managing my Bipolar Disorder Married for 27 years, recently widowed Parent of 2 children 5 years of experience parenting a child with a mental health diagnosis I am the EVIDENCE.
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Lessons Learned from a 27 Year Recovery Walk Michele Alexander Bibby
Who Am I • 51 year LWBIA • 27 years managing my Bipolar Disorder • Married for 27 years, recently widowed • Parent of 2 children • 5 years of experience parenting a child with a mental health diagnosis • I am the EVIDENCE
My Story • About Me • Only child • College graduate • Mom, 2 kids • Diagnosed while in Law School • Medication Compliant for many years • 20 plus year successful career in Human Resources • Pregnancy, age 40 … hormonal shift
More About Me • Change in medication • Four years of seasonal cycling, • 4 summers of crisis hospitalizations • 2 inpatient commitments • Inability to work • Acceptance of the illness
More about me • Education about bipolar disorder • Re-claiming my life • Giving back • Volunteering, DBSA support groups • Telling my story for the 1st time 2007 • Trained as a certified peer specialist
More About Me • Worked part-time as CPS at Austin State Hospital (previous patient) • Worked full-time as a consultant with Via Hope • Worked myself off disability • Grief of recent loss • Supporting children through their loss
Recovery • I believe recovery is a process, not a destination. My recovery journey has spanned 27 years • SAMHSA working definition of recovery. A process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self- directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.
Childhood Experiences Matter • Childhood trauma leaves scars • Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study – CDC and Kaiser Permanente, www.acestudy.org • ACE study says the more adverse experiences in childhood, the greater likelihood for struggling in adulthood • Childhood experiences can be a critical starting point of reference for counseling therapy
Sick children ….. Sick families • Emotionally distressed children are the outcome of sick family systems • In my case, after my diagnosis I began a journey of 27 years of counseling therapy • No one in my family participated in or received any type of therapy • I believe if you give counseling to a child from a distressed family and the child begins to improve, the benefits are diminished when they are returned to a sick family dynamic
When The Illness Shows Up Matters • In my case, I was in Law School • The later the onset of the illness, the more a person is likely to have accomplished • We must acknowledge the difficulty children and adolescents have when they are diagnosed so early • Childhood and adolescent diagnoses can impair the potential a person’s life may hold
Dreams Deferred • As MH Consumers we have life goals and we have dreams • Does the dreaded “D” – diagnosis mean the death of our dreams?
Impact of Race on Diagnosis • The vestiges of slavery have left a legacy of anger in our community • Anger should not result in a diagnosis • Being black male should not increase the likelihood for special education or diagnoses • We have to be very discerning about the labels put on us, on members of our community and our children
MH Service Trauma • MH consumer diagnosed in the 1980’s, I experienced • Straight Jackets • Rubber Isolation Rooms • Mistreatment when you are the most vulnerable • There is a problem in our society when a person has to recover from the “therapeutic” services they received
Fear, Blame and Shame • In my family, no one wanted to acknowledge any presence of mental illness in the family. There appeared to be a lot of fear related to my diagnosis • Different sides of the family were blamed • No one wanted to talk about the illness, consequently I felt a lot of shame • We have to open up the dialogue in our families to normalize the conversations about the presence of mental health issues in our families
Language Matters • Crazy • Odd • Troubled • Mental Health Consumer • Distressed
Medication Compliance • I was blessed in that the first med I was prescribed was the right med • I learned early on that the medication management was key to managing my symptoms • Many consumers are not so fortunate and spend years trying to find the right cocktail • Years of productivity can be lost spent adjusting and changing meds • This is compounded for children and adolescents with constantly changing brains
Disability • In 2002, I had a baby and had to change a med I had been taking for 20 years • I began seasonal cycling • I had 4 summers in crisis. Four hospitalizations • I had to reorder my life • Disability was a life saving option
Acceptance • Once on disability, I came to terms with my illness • I accepted that I had an illness that had to be managed and could become unmanageable • Being on disability afforded me the poor treatment many MH consumers experience everyday
Self Awareness • During a hospitalization at ASH, I was exposed to Mary Ellen Copelands Wellness Recovery Action Program (WRAP) • WRAP allowed me insight that has become critical in managing my illness. I now know how to gage • Early warning signs • Signs that things are breaking down • What are my triggers • Who are my supporters
Support System • As a MH consumer, having a circle of caring, loving people is key • A loving support system ensures you are not isolated • Having a supportive and loving family has been one of my success strategies
Relationships Matter • We are meant to be in relationship one to another • My greatest desire is to be engaged in healthy relationships with positive people • Sometimes we do and say things in crisis that can strain or damage relationships • I believe just as we can work on our recovery, we can work to recover relationships when they are worthwhile
Peer Support • There is nothing like the mutuality of a relationship between people with lived experience • DBSA tag line, “We’ve been there, we can help” • I became a certified peer specialist. This is a career opportunity for MH consumers • The authenticity of relating and sharing that PS provide in clinical settings is incomparable
Wonderfully Made • People living with mental illness are extra sensitive and I believe a little extra human • We are especially sensitive to light, season, hurt and pain (our own and others) • We can relate • Perhaps MH consumers are “extra” human • There is a lot of pain and darkness in this world • MH consumers are uniquely equipped to detect and support the distress of others
Shift of FocusIllness to Wellness • What you focus on you give power to • I began to focus on the things I do to stay well • These are my wellness strategies • Meds • Heart Healthy Diet • Exercise • Healthy Relationships • Spirituality • Under committing • African American Therapist • Wicked smart Psychiatrist • Integration of physical and mental health care
Giving Back • I learned that Giving Back is also a key wellness strategy for me • I learned to be a support group facilitator with DBSA. I became DBSA chapter President • It has been said to those whom much is given, much is required. So, I have moved my efforts to advocacy • MLK said “Injustice Anywhere is a Threat to Justice Everywhere” • There is still a lot of injustice that plays itself out with MH consumers on many different system levels
Priorities Change • Career • Family • Managing the Illness • Maintaining Wellness • Me • Advocacy
Failure Is a Part of Growth • Failure can actually put you on the path to the next great chapter in your life • Recovery is non-linear. The non-linearity of it includes dead ends and detours • The key is staying on the path
Life Throws Curve Balls • Emotional Distress • Situational Distress • Catastrophic Events • Death/Loss • Chronic Illness • Key is overcoming
Fully Recovered • Decision Making • Major Social Supports • Social Role / Identity • Role of Medication • Emotional Intelligence • Global Assessment of Functioning (GAF) • Sense of Self
My Responsibility • My words, actions • Be a loving parent • Maintaining my own wellness • Continuing education about mental health matters • Supporting & inspiring my peers. Informing folks about mental health issues from a consumer perspective
Resources • Books • Visible Darkness, William Styron • Unquiet Mind, Kay Redfield Jemison • Brilliant Madness, Patti Duke • Via Hope, www.viahope.org. Certified Peer Specialist training and certification • Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP), Mary Ellen Copeland, www.mentalhealthrecovery.com • Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE Study) • FacingUs, www.facingus.org - Wellness Tracker • Depression Bipolar Support Alliance, DBSA. www.dbsalliance.org - Support Groups and other resources • SAMHSA Working Definition of Recovery. http://store.samhsa.gov/product/SAMHSA-s-Working-Definition-of-Recovery/PEP12-RECDEF • National Empowerment Center, ECPR Training, www.power2u.org