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Revision Plan and Draft 1.1. Week nine. Discussion point. “The phrase ‘the maker’s eye’ appears in Murray’s title and in several places throughout the essay. What do you suppose he means by this? Consider how the maker’s eye could be different from the reader’s eye.”
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Revision Plan and Draft 1.1 Week nine
Discussion point • “The phrase ‘the maker’s eye’ appears in Murray’s title and in several places throughout the essay. What do you suppose he means by this? Consider how the maker’s eye could be different from the reader’s eye.” • Murray, Donald M. “The Maker’s Eye: Revising Your Own Manuscripts.” Language Awareness: Readings for College Writers. Ed. Paul Eschholz, Alfred Rosa, and Virginia Clark. 8th ed. Boston: Bedford/St. Martins, 2000. 1-3. PDF file.
Lesson objectives • General vs. Specific Language • Comma Splices • Create a Revision Plan • Draft 1.1
Exercise in specificity • General Statements: • “I’m in class. Call you later.” • “The author’s facts impressed the reader.” • “I woke up.” • Specific Statements: • ? • ? • ?
Comma Splice • “A comma splice occurs when only a comma separates separate clauses that could each stand alone as a sentence” (“Comma Splice”). • Ex. “I’m in class, Call you later.” • To Correct: • Separate with a period. • Add a conjunction (and, but, so, for, or, etc.) • Link with a semi-colon; it will do wonders! • “Comma Splice.” St. Martin’s Handbook. 7th ed. Ed. Andrea A. Lunsford. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2013.
Revision Plan • Rules for Plan: • Avoid Yes/No Questions • Be specific! • Avoid “You/I” Statements • Provide Positive Criticism • Exude Professionalism
Example: Revision plan • Before critiquing, read the rhetorical analysis through once. • Identify the thesis. • Read through the paper another time. Identify the following: • Claims and Reasons • Supporting Evidence (Quotes) • Areas of Confusion • Answer these questions after the second reading. Be as specific as possible: • What is effective in the paper? • Where is there room for improvement?
Example: Revision plan • Answer these questions after the second reading. Be as specific as possible: • Does the author’s evidence support the paper’s thesis? • How has the author’s language affected your reading? Are there shifts in tone? • How developed are the paragraphs? • Has the paper effectively argued its thesis?
Revision Plan • Rules for Plan: • Avoid Yes/No Questions • Be specific! • Avoid “You/I” Statements • Provide Positive Criticism • Exude Professionalism
homework • Saturday: • Turn in Draft 1.1 • Tuesday: • First-Year Writing: Ch. 6 (118-24); Ch. 10 • St. Martin’s Handbook: Chapter 4 • Audio Lesson: Using Instructor Commentary to Revise