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22 habits of unhappy people 22 HABITS OF UNHAPPY PEOPLE : iii my opiiiicii happiness isn't something that you are boru intli. Happiness is something that l1Elpp€".1S through a series of expert-: -i: .:es. habits and reahzatious over the course of your life. This isut .2 guide to try and fix people who are : hr: .ica1ly depressed. but 3 series of things Ihexre learn ed over my life that have shapedthe way I look at life and the world. It 13 my e: -Lperieizce that the in ore positive habits you liaye in your life. the ins re emotional happiness you 'l'. ‘1l. l experience. Instead of telling you things you should do to more-ase your einoticizal Salliffiftl-On. I've created a list ofbad habits you should try to correct. Not only Will they make you happier. they i-.1llz. lsc make you a. better person.
Chronic Complaining The one thing that happy, successful people don‘t do a lot of is complaining. While it B psychologically beneficial to vent when you are under stress, there is a difference between small venting sessions and bang a chronic complainer. The chronic oomplainer tenth to always have something wrong in their life, their Bsues are more important than everybody elses, and when you have something to vent about yoursdf, they ar‘t very interested in listening. Everybody gets dealt a hand in life. some get dealt better hands than others, but at the end of the day thi is the hand of cards that is yours. Chronic oomplainers tend to complain about their job, their significant other, how little money they make or how something wasn't fair. I have news for you. anybody anywhere has hnndrerk of things they could complain about at any given time. If you are a chronic coinplainer. quit whining and talk about the things that are positive in your life and focus on what is good. If you have a problem, sit down and work out a solution. Constant complaining does nothing but push your frienck away and keep you in that dark unhappy place. You have good in your life. find it, and share it. [5] Chronic Complaining The one thing that happy, successful people don‘t do a lot of is complaining. While it B psychologically beneficial to vent when you are under stress, there is a difference between small venting sessions and bang a chronic complainer. The chronic oomplainer tenth to always have something wrong in their life, their Bsues are more important than everybody elses, and when you have something to vent about yoursdf, they ar‘t very interested in listening. Everybody gets dealt a hand in life. some get dealt better hands than others, but at the end of the day thi is the hand of cards that is yours. Chronic oomplainers tend to complain about their job, their significant other, how little money they make or how something wasn't fair. I have news for you. anybody anywhere has hnndrerk of things they could complain about at any given time. If you are a chronic coinplainer. quit whining and talk about the things that are positive in your life and focus on what is good. If you have a problem, sit down and work out a solution. Constant complaining does nothing but push your frienck away and keep you in that dark unhappy place. You have good in your life. find it, and share it. [5]
Retail Therapy -5 %‘ "* _ ‘- t " X ll" 1: ’-‘, I,‘1 l‘-‘A . ‘. ‘o‘n -. N ' ‘I ' ‘ . H . . H 1| i- I . A -. i ll ‘ ‘ . .", ‘_ | |'| “E‘ -9- IN “‘ 4, , ',. ,¢ yea? . .3 an F‘ K, «lag . .g nr. : '1 ‘H‘‘ , .‘v l: i. ‘ inn 4 Life is about experiences, hO'. ‘E''€| ' so many people get caught up in materialistic items that they forget what truly makes us happy. Sure the latest ga dget may make you feel good for the evening, but that high is temporary. andyou will be back chasing that retail high shortly after. Get out and experience the world. If you can't afford to get away. become a tourist in your own city. Skydive, bungeejmnp. go to the beach alone. take a hike on an imknown trail. go up to a complete stranger and invite them for coffee, hell. .. read a book: there are so many thin gs you could be doing that will enrich your life that doesn't involve buying things. Retail Therapy -5 %‘ "* _ ‘- t " X ll" 1: ’-‘, I,‘1 l‘-‘A . ‘. ‘o‘n -. N ' ‘I ' ‘ . H . . H 1| i- I . A -. i ll ‘ ‘ . .", ‘_ | |'| “E‘ -9- IN “‘ 4, , ',. ,¢ yea? . .3 an F‘ K, «lag . .g nr. : '1 ‘H‘‘ , .‘v l: i. ‘ inn 4 Life is about experiences, hO'. ‘E''€| ' so many people get caught up in materialistic items that they forget what truly makes us happy. Sure the latest ga dget may make you feel good for the evening, but that high is temporary. andyou will be back chasing that retail high shortly after. Get out and experience the world. If you can't afford to get away. become a tourist in your own city. Skydive, bungeejmnp. go to the beach alone. take a hike on an imknown trail. go up to a complete stranger and invite them for coffee, hell. .. read a book: there are so many thin gs you could be doing that will enrich your life that doesn't involve buying things.
Binge Drinking 'vi -'. .'I M _‘ . ' ‘- :1". -i Alcohol can be hardto avoid. It is present in almost every social situation. As most people know alcohol is a depressant. While alcohol can help loosen you up in these social situations. drinking excessively on a regular basis can cause all sorts of havoc on your life. Since alcohol is a depressant. the following day after drinking yourself silly usually results in a pretty unproductive day. Not only does this lead to the feehng like you have wasted a day. it also leads to poor eating decisions and lack of exercise. [61[9] Binge Drinking 'vi -'. .'I M _‘ . ' ‘- :1". -i Alcohol can be hardto avoid. It is present in almost every social situation. As most people know alcohol is a depressant. While alcohol can help loosen you up in these social situations. drinking excessively on a regular basis can cause all sorts of havoc on your life. Since alcohol is a depressant. the following day after drinking yourself silly usually results in a pretty unproductive day. Not only does this lead to the feehng like you have wasted a day. it also leads to poor eating decisions and lack of exercise. [61[9]
VVo1'i'_ving About the Future No matter what you do, you only have so much impact on what the future has in store for you. Could you get laid off? Blaybe. Couldyou catch a life threatenin g clueas ef’ Yup. The thing is, you have very httle control over whether or not these things happen, so why spend your time worrying about it. As long as you have a reasonable game plan and areliving responsibly you should be fociued on what is going on in your life now. Fociu on what you are doing this second: if you hateit. do something else. Right now I'm looking outside. it is sunny and my cat is rubbing up against my leg. I couldn't be happier. VVo1'i'_ving About the Future No matter what you do, you only have so much impact on what the future has in store for you. Could you get laid off? Blaybe. Couldyou catch a life threatenin g clueas ef’ Yup. The thing is, you have very httle control over whether or not these things happen, so why spend your time worrying about it. As long as you have a reasonable game plan and areliving responsibly you should be fociued on what is going on in your life now. Fociu on what you are doing this second: if you hateit. do something else. Right now I'm looking outside. it is sunny and my cat is rubbing up against my leg. I couldn't be happier.
VVaiting for the Future Much like worrying about the future, many people focus on future even ts instead of what is going on right now. The :11 am of tli ought usually starts hke this: When you are in high school. you think you -.1llbeliappy when you graduate. On ce you ice graduated. you tliinkyou -all be happy onceyou land a good }Ol). Once you have the dream job. you think you mll behappy when you are married. Next you think you will be happy when you have kids. Once you have kids. you think you will be happy when they move out of the house. Next it will be when they have kids. Before you know it you ‘. ‘lll have spent your entire life waiting for events to bring you happiness just to reahze life (and happiness) has passedyou by. VVaiting for the Future Much like worrying about the future, many people focus on future even ts instead of what is going on right now. The :11 am of tli ought usually starts hke this: When you are in high school. you think you -.1llbeliappy when you graduate. On ce you ice graduated. you tliinkyou -all be happy onceyou land a good }Ol). Once you have the dream job. you think you mll behappy when you are married. Next you think you will be happy when you have kids. Once you have kids. you think you will be happy when they move out of the house. Next it will be when they have kids. Before you know it you ‘. ‘lll have spent your entire life waiting for events to bring you happiness just to reahze life (and happiness) has passedyou by.
Lack of Hobbies Before I eyen get started. your Job, house cleaning and watching TV are NOT hobbies. Hobbies are activities that you can become passionate about. Hobbies are something that you can do when youli aye three hours offree time on a Thursday night. Hobbies are skills that could potentially earn you money if you become good enough at tlieni. Happy people tend to have hobbies. whether your ' is kick boxing. playing the guitar. or even basket weaiin g. Hobbies give you so mething to do Wltll your free time and giye you some tune for YOU. This is tiineyou are investing in yourself. Group hobbies also have the added benefit of giving you additional sociahzmg time. Lack of Hobbies Before I eyen get started. your Job, house cleaning and watching TV are NOT hobbies. Hobbies are activities that you can become passionate about. Hobbies are something that you can do when youli aye three hours offree time on a Thursday night. Hobbies are skills that could potentially earn you money if you become good enough at tlieni. Happy people tend to have hobbies. whether your ' is kick boxing. playing the guitar. or even basket weaiin g. Hobbies give you so mething to do Wltll your free time and giye you some tune for YOU. This is tiineyou are investing in yourself. Group hobbies also have the added benefit of giving you additional sociahzmg time.
Eating Poorly Zulaking bad fC; d choices or eatuig too much is not only bad for your h ealtli. it can iiiake you feel lethargic. guilty. depressed and when done for e: -;teii ded periods of time typically results in gained weiglit. 1'nfortunately eating poorly is a yicious cycle. Often tunes people eat to self inedicatewlien they are feeling dowii. They feel great for a few minutes while they eat their dehcious treats. but then feel guilt afterwards. followed by lack of energy and reduced pr oductiiity. Eating healthy not only makes youhaye more energy. it also i akes you look better. wliicli makes you feel better about yourself. Contrary to wliat the inilhon-' : f fitness magazines out there ‘»‘. ‘Lll tell you. 90°: ofh ow you look is determined by what and how much foo you puti your body. not how much tuiieyo spend running on a tie: diiiill. Eat right. look great. and feel great. [''_‘ [8] Eating Poorly Zulaking bad fC; d choices or eatuig too much is not only bad for your h ealtli. it can iiiake you feel lethargic. guilty. depressed and when done for e: -;teii ded periods of time typically results in gained weiglit. 1'nfortunately eating poorly is a yicious cycle. Often tunes people eat to self inedicatewlien they are feeling dowii. They feel great for a few minutes while they eat their dehcious treats. but then feel guilt afterwards. followed by lack of energy and reduced pr oductiiity. Eating healthy not only makes youhaye more energy. it also i akes you look better. wliicli makes you feel better about yourself. Contrary to wliat the inilhon-' : f fitness magazines out there ‘»‘. ‘Lll tell you. 90°: ofh ow you look is determined by what and how much foo you puti your body. not how much tuiieyo spend running on a tie: diiiill. Eat right. look great. and feel great. [''_‘ [8]
Talking Poorly of Others . ,‘ , "Great people talk about ECICCIS. aremgepecple talk about rhmgs. mm’ s: .~: m'l people talk about u‘: 'r2e. " ~ Fran Lebomt: . 'e. :t tune you go out. llsten to what people talk amut. Are you spendmg your tlme gos sipmg or talklng about other people. Unhappy people get caught up talkmg about other people mstead of talkmg about things such as Ldezs or current events. Uuh app}; people also have a tendenq; to Judge others. ‘Look what that idxot J5 domgi. "Can you belrevex-. 'hat she 15 xaearmg“. If you catch yourself Judgmv somebody you dont know. brtejsour tongue. Trashing somebody else might make you feelbetter for a moment. but all you are domg Ls masking your msecurmes by trying to put them beneath you. Instead. trj; comphmentmg others. at fust it might be hard. but it mll make you feel good and M11 make you a much more desirable person to be around. Talking Poorly of Others . ,‘ , "Great people talk about ECICCIS. aremgepecple talk about rhmgs. mm’ s: .~: m'l people talk about u‘: 'r2e. " ~ Fran Lebomt: . 'e. :t tune you go out. llsten to what people talk amut. Are you spendmg your tlme gos sipmg or talklng about other people. Unhappy people get caught up talkmg about other people mstead of talkmg about things such as Ldezs or current events. Uuh app}; people also have a tendenq; to Judge others. ‘Look what that idxot J5 domgi. "Can you belrevex-. 'hat she 15 xaearmg“. If you catch yourself Judgmv somebody you dont know. brtejsour tongue. Trashing somebody else might make you feelbetter for a moment. but all you are domg Ls masking your msecurmes by trying to put them beneath you. Instead. trj; comphmentmg others. at fust it might be hard. but it mll make you feel good and M11 make you a much more desirable person to be around.
. Holding Grudges T _‘ ‘#1! . .~-- s Harbouring animosity towards somebody is like carrying around a backpack full of rocks. You don't have a problem carrying it. but it is a load on your back. and hfe sure would be easier if you could just take it off. Do your self a favour. forgive. This doesnt mean you need to become best buds with -: home'. 'er has done you wt cng, but come to terms with what has happened and under stand that people make mistakes. for giving will help free you of anxiety. stress and depression and allow youto have happier relationships. Freeyourself of the hate. and move on. [.; ]
. Stop Learning it ' «' “The moment you stop learn mg, you stop leading. " - Rick Warren It isn't hard to become complacent in life. Youve spent so much time going to school to eventually get a job that learning sometimes takes a backseat to life. Learning doesn't need to be a chore. Just like hobbies. get out there and learn about something you are passionate about. Like mexican food? Sweet. start reading about it and practice making five star restaurant quality mexican food. Learning newthings not only gives you things to tall»: about in social environments. it also helps improve your self worth. which leads to happiness.
. Not Following Through It is easyto sit on the couch and inakea list of things you want or plan to do. Actually gettmg up off the couch and doing them takes a lot more energy. They say that taking the first step is ali-says the hardest part with any plan. Quit making excuses and walk the walk. nobody is going to do it for you. Want to go back to school’? Pick up the phone and register. 'ant to lose 10 lbs? ‘ Get in your car and drive to the gym. Today is the first day of the rest ofyour life. Quit letting the first step hold you back.
. Hating Yoiu- J 01) u rvmln , M1; mm». :1». Lr villi ‘phini-. ‘vii: 3.; .‘»~ *1 1%. ’ 1i: ;: l-‘act: Most people have to work to sin''ive. Fact: The average full time work week '5 40 horns. With two weeks vacation most people work 1920 hours per year. If you are going to spend 1920 hours per year working, please make an attempt to like your job. Since you will be spending 22.4% of your entire year (yes that includes sleeping hours) you better like what you are doing. Now. before you jump to conclusions that you hate your job. think to yourself, "Do Ireally hate my job, or have i just complained about it to others so much that Ithinkl dof"'. So many people love their job when they first start. As time goes on. co-workers start to complain about things. and then you start to find little things that bother you. then soon enough everybodys complaining has amalgamated into this giant ball of hate. Next thing you know you are blaming your job for your unhappiness. If this is your situation, you can either A) Start telling yourself something you love about your job daily. and make sure you relay this to your co-workers in an attempt to learn to re-lore your job or B) If it is too late. and the damage is done. more on to a similar job elsewhere and do everything you can to keep things positive from the get go. In the event you genuinely hate your job and doing it another day is going to cause you endless grief. simply take the plimge. and move on. Being unhappy for close to a quarter or your life just isn't worth it. [i 0]
. Loneliness (How you Choose to Socialize) One of the biggest causes of unhappiness is loneliness. I'm not referring to having somebody special in your life; having a significant other doesn't mean you won ‘t be lonely. Being lonely generally stems from lack of social stimulation. The technology age is definitely perpetuating thk by means of text messaging. Facebook, Twitter and other ‘socialxetworksl People are so addicted to these forms of socialtechnology that they forget humans require real genuine human interaction. Socially insecure people tend to gravitate to onliiie socializing because they have more control over the amount and timing of their interactions. Reducing face to face interactions tends to reduce social anxiety for less extroverted individuals. Unfortunately staying within your comfort zone, limits personal growth. and prevents the development of valuable face to face relationships. “ ‘ ll Don‘t have something to do tonight? Instead of commenting on everybody's I-‘acebook statuses. give somebody a call and go out for a drink. you would be surprsed how much better it feels to talk to a real life physicalhinnan bg. If you are single and feel like you need a significant other to be happy. I am going to be blunt. YOU ARE WRONG. You can't be in a healthy relationship until you are happy independently. Using somebody else as a crutch for your happiness is a one way trip to an unhealthy relationship. If you are struggling to find a companion. stop looking in bars and stop looking online. Consider joining activity clubs for singles or participate in a group activity that encourages socialization. You will meet like minded people who share more in common with you that booze or Facebook friends. If you really struggle with making friends. read Dale Carnegie‘s classic book "How to Win Friemk and Influence Peofle". rim book was written in 193'. ‘ and still stands true to this day. It will supply you with the tools needed to form amazing relationships.
. Letting Negative Thoughts Enter Your Mind : v in tn-. ;,: .i. .- . .:r : -‘in »: -«~-. —« ~ - , ~.-. _,«-; In the past Ihad this problem. Negative thoughts would enter my mind and I would let them stick around. They would then sit there. fester and take control of my emotions and my happiness. This got to the point I actually spoke to my doctor about it and he gave me this advice. When these thoughts enter your head. immediately think of something else. You choose what you think about. andthe longer you entertain a negative thought, the more it is going to stay in focus. We are all human, and bad thoughts will enter our heads from timeto time, but by being conscious of what you thinking about you can push them out ofyour head before they take you over.
. Jumping to Conclusions Jumping to conclusions is a huge source of not only imhappiness but also anxiety for people. Jumping to conclusions usually comes in one of two forms; Fortune telling and mind reading. I-‘ortime Telling is when a situation arises and you automatically predict that things are going to turn our poorly. Because of this fortune telling, you often take yourself out of these situations, which for the most part would end in a great experience. Youlose out by having jumped to conclusions and predicting an unsatisfactory outcome. Mind reading is when you automatically assume that others are negatively reacting to you or something you‘ve done when thereis no definite evidence. This can and will make you feel like a victim and can result in imfounded resentment towards these imaginary reactions. [2]
. Magnification ~’, .o—5 1/ 5 l / , J -‘_. .. 7' ' “ . Often times unhappy people have a tendency to blow small things out of proportion. Take a step back before you deal an issue and try to look at it objectively. Often times if you try to take yourself and your emotions out of the equation and think it through you will realize that you are making a big deal out of nothing. If you still aren't sure. ask somebody you trust what they would do in this situation before losing sleep over it. [2]
. Minimization «. ’.-. ~m: ~m; «.-; : A’A . . r~. .;u mm W. ..» my-. «.. ~.; v.t: -~. . . uN.1-i u». The exact opposite of magnification is minimization. Minimization is when you take real problems and instead of dealing with them, tell yourself they are insignificant. Unfortunately you can only sweep your problems under the rug for so long before they explode. People tend to ignore problems like debt, obesity amongst other things. If this sounds like you, stop ignoring your on going problems, become actionable and take steps to fix them. Much like grudges, you will feel much better once these problems have been resolved. [:]
. Self Labelling How you talk to yours elf can seriously affect your self image. W11 en you make a mnstake. tellycurself "You made a mL= tal<e. ne: -it tnneyou will do better Saying thing like "You arean idiot", or "You are a piece of crap" does no thing but loi-ter your self worth. This might soundinsignificant. but you need to believe in yourself to be happy. and calling yourself names prevents you from moving on after you've made a mistake. {2} In
. Not Having a Goal One of the most esciting things in Leis setting a goal and accomplishing it. Happy people have a tendency to make both short and long term goals. Sh ort term goals give you mini accomplishments that build self confidence and keep you motivated for the big picture. These goals can be related to anything that is important to you. Fitness. finance and hobby related goals are examples of goals you can set immediately. Successful people are constantly setting and accomplisliin g goals. While lack of ambition has a tendency to lead to mediocracy and limited emotional satisfaction. unhappy people often set goals too. The problem with unhappy peoples goals. is they teiidto be unachievable. One study shows? “ that people suffering from dept-es siou often set goals that they are incapable of accomplishing When these goals don ‘t cometo fnritiou. negative self reflection begins. For this reason. incremental goals are extremely important to build self confidence and positive reinforcement for the goal setter. Start small. andbuildup steam. you are the only thing that stands in the
. VVORRYING VVHAT OTHERS THINK »' ~ I C is 4 4". I . ' ‘V m_ _s . V ‘ (hC‘«3§ ) ‘. ’.r p L‘ ‘7 1*’ ' J‘! So many people spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to please others. This generally stems from the insecurity that other people are judging them. People do their hair a certain way, dress a certain way. and act a certain way in an attempt to fit in. All these things take so much energy yet in most circumstances the people you are frienit with would like you regardless if you did the things you do to try and impress them. Stop doing things for other people and do things that make you happy. Go out with your hair a mess. wear a pair of torn up sweat pants in public and do it with a smile on your face. Your friends will like you regarcfless and if you don't know somebody. why do you ca re what they think.
. Let Strangers Affect Your Mood The world ‘Ls a scary place. There are lots of pissed off people and people who want to drag you down to their level. If somebody gives you the middle finger while driving. smile back at them and let them spend their energy being cranky. Don't let somebody elses bad day control the outcome of yours. Ifyou haveto dealwith a grumpy person. kill them with kindness. Often times your unfounded happiness will make them realize how big of a ierk they are being.
. VVANTING MORE MONEY V . Inlouey. eirerybody wants it. nobody seems to have enough of it: Or do they, ‘ Inlost people think that if they had more money. their happiness would increase accordingly. L'nfortimately. much like "Waiting for the future" above. the illusion that more money will solve all your problems and make you happy is nothing more than just that. an illusion. According to a Princeton Uni'. ’ersity study. emotional well being and happiness does rise with income. but only to an annualhouseliold income of $'5.r: -oo. [1]. If your household income is already over $‘5.oc~u: x it might be time to reevaluate your happiness. more money is probably not going to make you that much happier.
