Turning the Knob When you describe a room, don’t describe it; it.

1. Turning the Knob When you describe a room, don’t describe it; it. build Think of a pair of binoculars. You look through them at first and they are blurry. Here’s a blurry sentence. " I walked into the McDonalds, and there were people everywhere." You’ve been there before. All McDonalds are the same, right? Wrong. Now take out your binoculars and turn that little knob. You turn the knob by asking questions. Questions that focus your own binoculars on all your senses? Here I’ll show you.

2. What did they look like? (eyes) What were they wearing? (eyes) What were they doing? (eyes ears) What did it smell like? (nose) What was the air like? (touch) What did your mouth taste like when you saw it? (taste) The sentence once was: " I walked into the McDonalds and there were people everywhere." The workmen leaned on the stainless steel counters, bellies bursting out of stained tee shirts. An old man in the corner held an aluminum cane in one hand and a rolled up newspaper in the other. He swatted at flies as the workers scurried behind the counters, stuffing bags with greasy burgers, rushing to the beeping fryolaters to scoop the golden greasy potato sticks, slinging steaming robot food into cardboard trays and paper bags. The smell of sizzling fat hung in the air and I could taste swallow and digest that hamburger before the young girl could say, "Have a nice day."

3. How do you add this information? Well, let me show you… Mrs. Smith has a dog. He is a great hunter. What questions do you have for her? What did they look like? (eyes) What were they wearing? (eyes) What were they doing? (eyes ears) What did it smell like? (nose) What was the air like? (touch) What was in your mouth? (taste)

4. I have a black lab. In my opinion, he is the cutest dog ever. We got him from a breeder in California who specialized in hunting dogs, and my husband, Matt, and I fell in love with him from the moment we saw him with his brothers and sisters. The breeder put the puppies in a large play area when they were very young and constantly had tape recordings of common, loud noises like babies crying, police sirens, pots and pans banging, and of course, guns going off. She believed that this would acclimate them to loud noises so that when they went hunting, they weren’t scared of the gun shot. It must have worked because Riggs was never afraid.

5. The first time Matt took him hunting, he was able to “fetch-up” five upland birds. On this day, it just so happened that there was a reporter doing a story on bird hunting, and Riggs’s accomplishments were documented in the Boise Weekly. Since then, Riggs has retrieved many ducks, chuckers, grouse, pheasants, and quail. He lives for hunting, and when he does it, he gives it his all to the point where he hurts himself. Last year, he started limping, and after a visit to the vet, we learned that his ACL was completely disintegrated, not just torn. Most people can’t stand to walk when they tear their ACL, and Riggs was still hunting without one. After one hard year of recovery and missing the birds, Riggs got to go on a “Cast and Blast” trip down the main Salmon River this weekend, and he loved every minute of it. Written by: Mrs. Smith

6. Jessie is a first grader whose teacher taught her the binoculars. Notice the difference between draft one and draft three. Jessie adds information not extra words to her story. My Pigby Jessie (first grader) Draft 1 (before binoculars) I made a pink pig. His name is Ham Yorko. He rolls in the mud. One day he ate a lot of food. He rolled down the hill. He couldn’t walk so he didn’t try to get up. The next morning I got up to feed my pig. I didn’t see him. Then I went to look for him. I couldn’t find him so I went home. When I got home, there he was, and he never ate a lot of food again.

7. Remember: What did they look like? (eyes) What were they wearing? (eyes) What were they doing? (eyes ears) What did it smell like? (nose) What was the air like? (touch) What did your mouth taste like? (taste)

8. My Pigby Jessie Draft 3 (after the binoculars) I made a pig out of garbage. His body was a milk carton. His ears were those tiny Styrofoam "peanuts" the pack glass in. I made his tail out of string. I wrapped him in pink paper to make him be a pink pig. His name is Ham Yorko. He rolls in the mud on the shady side of the house. One day he ate a lot of food. His food was on the edge of the hill. He spilled a little water. He slipped and started rolling down the hill. He spilled a little water. He slipped and started rolling down the hill. He got hurt a little. His leg got a cut. It hit a rock while he was rolling down. He rolled down the hill into the woods at the bottom of the hill, and landed on his back out of breath. When he caught his breath, he tried to get up again because he was too fat. So then he just stayed there for the night.

9. The next morning I got up and went outside to feed my pig on the edge of the hill where I have a bowl for his food. I didn’t see him. I look around first on the other side of the house. I don’t see him. Then I go looking in the wood. I see a pine tree. On the edge of the pine tree I see my pigs leg sticking out. He’s on the other side of the pine tree. He’s surprised to see me. He just looked at me, kind of glad. And then I helped him get up. I carried him home. He was heavy. I was tired going up that hill. I let him go and stopped for a minute to take a rest. When we got to the top of the hill, he ate all his breakfast. I was happy he ate all his breakfast. He was of happy to be back home. Then he rolled in the mud again.

10. Mystery Person Contest Write a paragraph describing a well-known person or character without naming the character. The idea is to describe the person/character in such detail that everyone will recognize who it is. While you don't want to create a cryptic riddle no one will be able to guess, you do want to move beyond "He's the President of the United States." The idea is to describe the person's physical attributes, personal characteristics, actions, etc., so that classmates will recognize the person/character by the description. Stress putting the person/character in action. For example, it would be pointless to describe Michael Jordan as a "tall, bald African-American man" -- that could be many people -- without describing the way he moves, which reveals something singular about him. When you are finished, you will read the descriptions out loud and see how many people can guess who you wrote about. If no one recognizes him/her, then the you have either picked someone obscure, or you will (hopefully) realize that your powers of description could use a little work. Students will decide whose description wins