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Basics of Biblical Counseling. Lesson 12: The Biblical Basis for Marriage. XI. The Biblical Basis for Marriage. A. The Biblical Purposes for Marriage. Popular reasons people get married: Biblical reasons for marriage: Companionship (Gen 2:18, Prov. 2:17, 1 Pet. 3:7)
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Basics of Biblical Counseling Lesson 12: The Biblical Basis for Marriage
A. The Biblical Purposes for Marriage • Popular reasons people get married: • Biblical reasons for marriage: • Companionship (Gen 2:18, Prov. 2:17, 1 Pet. 3:7) • Comprehensive Partnership (Gen. 2:24) What it doesn’t mean: • Uniformity – loss of identity or individuality • Clone – No differences (church has many parts – Rom. 12)
A. The Biblical Purposes for Marriage What is does mean: • Unity – comprehensive, without constriction • Partnership – complete in every area of life • Sacrifice – commitment to sharing all of life together
A. The Biblical Purposes for Marriage • Areas of partnership: • Cognitive/intellectual • Emotions/feelings • Social relationships • Work • Spiritual life • Physical/sexual • Aspirational • Trials/struggles
A. The Biblical Purposes for Marriage • Completing (Gen. 2:18) • Children (Gen. 1:26) • Custodianship (Gen. 1:28) • Contentment (1 Cor. 7:1ff) • Characterization (Eph. 5:22-32)
B. Biblical Principles of Marriage • Priority of Marriage (Gen. 2:24) • The priority of marriage is realized by living in light of Gen. 2:24. When a couple gets married, they: • Leave their father and mother • Cleave to one another • They become “one flesh” • What leaving and cleaving does NOT mean: • Break off all relations • Bearing no responsibility • Abandoning the family • Geographic distancing
B. Biblical Principles of Marriage • Priority of Marriage (Gen. 2:24) • What leaving and cleaving DOES mean: • Leave behind dependency relationship (emotional, financial, etc.) • Leave behind parents’ temporary God-given authority over you • Leave behind parent-centered and controlled manner of living • Leave behind dependence upon parents’ approval • Leave behind parents as chief confidantes • Leave behind family’s ideas about family structure and functioning
B. Biblical Principles of Marriage • Priority of Marriage (Gen. 2:24) • What leaving and cleaving DOES mean: • Cleave to peer-relationship with parents • Cleave to full responsibility for life and decisions • Cleave to viewing parents as advisors • Cleave to biblical standards for life and family living • Cleave to your mate’s opinions, insights and concerns as being most important
B. Biblical Principles of Marriage • Purity of Marriage • Biblical commands: • Marriage is to be held in honor, the marriage bed is to be undefiled (Heb. 13:4) • No adultery (Ex. 20:14) or any form of immorality (Eph. 5:3) • Wife is to be pure and chaste (1 Pet. 3:1-2), husband is to be like Christ (Eph. 5:25) • Stay away from anyone who is not your spouse (Prov. 5:15-20)
B. Biblical Principles of Marriage • Purity of Marriage • Commitments required: • Purity in behavior (adultery, pornography, flirting, etc.) • Purity in affections (where is your heart?) • Purity in thoughts (fantasizing, day-dreaming, lust) • Purity in removing any pattern of thought, behavior, or desire which may lead to impurity (Prov. 5, 7, Eph. 5:3). Stay off the road that leads to sexual sin.
B. Biblical Principles of Marriage • The Permanence of Marriage • Don’t separate what God has joined (Matt. 19:5-6) • Husband and wife should be satisfied in one another at all times (Prov. 5:15-19) • God hates divorce (Mal. 2:16). Divorce should never be an option for a Christian couple. If divorce does occur, reconciliation or singleness are the options (1 Cor. 7:10-11) • Some interpreters (like John MacArthur) hold that divorce is allowed in the cases of immorality or abandonment (Matt. 19:9, 1 Cor. 7:15), while others (like John Piper) hold the view that divorce is never allowed. Regardless, the Bible prohibits the vast majority of divorces.
B. Biblical Principles of Marriage • The Preeminence of God in Marriage • Christ must hold “first place” in all things, including the marriage relationship (Col. 1:18) • God’s kingdom and righteousness are to be pursued first, even in marriage (Matt. 6:33) • Couples can make Christ preeminent in their relationship by worshipping Him together, walking with Him together, and submitting their wills to His lordship as revealed through His Word.
C. Resources • On Marriage: • Wayne Mack, Strengthening Your Marriage (P&R) • Wayne Mack, Your Family, God’s Way (P&R) • Martha Peace, The Excellent Wife (Focus) • Stuart Scott, The Exemplary Husband (Focus) • Lou Priolo, The Complete Husband (Calvary)